What Does the Bible Teach About Divorce and Remarriage?

by Jack Wellman on July 17, 2011 · Print Print · Email Email

Does the Bible address the issue of divorce?  What does it say about marrying after divorce….and is it adultery if you do?  Are there exceptions to being able to remarry after a divorce?

Does the Bible Address the Issue of Divorce? 

God performed the first marriage ceremony between Adam and Eve, therefore we can say with assurance that God loves marriage and that it is a divine institution (Gen. 2:18-24).  God also hates divorce and says so many times in the scriptures (Malachi 2:16).  Jesus said the only reason that divorce was permitted was because of the hardness of human’s hearts but this was not done in the beginning (Matt. 19:8).  If a husband’s or wife’s mate leave them, then they can not be held responsible for the marriage and Paul apparently believes that they are not bound by the law (I Cor. 7:15).

Clearly, God reveals throughout the Bible that He hates divorce and that husband and wife were intended to marry for life.  Divorce is permissible where spousal abuse occurs or where children are endangered by one of the parties.  Here is where it is permitted because the higher moral law is to protect children and, in most cases, women from abusing husbands and fathers.  It should be noted that some men had to divorce their wives because of spousal abuse too.  What the Bible teaches is that divorce is the high exception to the rule and it should always be the very last resort in any marriage.  God hates divorce because of what it does to the family which is society’s support system.  Divorce is also very harmful to children in almost every case, again with the exception of where abuse is occurring.

What Does The Bible Say About Marrying After Divorce….and is it Adultery If You Do?

Generally speaking the Bible teaches that it is unlawful to marry again after a divorce.  Even if a single person who marries a divorced person, it is called adultery (Duet.24:4).   Divorcing someone is not considered adultery but Jesus did say in Matthew 5:32 that “… anyone who divorces his wife [or husband I would add], except for sexual immorality, makes her [or him] the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman [or man] commits adultery.”  But then again, even looking at another person with lust in their hearts is also considered adultery (Matt 5:28).  However it is important to remember that it may be the best course of action where safety for the spouse and their children is concerned, so each case must be looked at in particular and not all divorces and remarriages can be considered in the same way since circumstances may be different.

If you remarry after your spouse has left you, they were unfaithful, or they were abusive, this is an extenuating circumstance and God would not condemn anyone for this.  Paul would say that it is better not to remarry, but not everyone can handle this if they are continually tempted sexually (1 Cor. 7:8-9).  Others were married and divorced before they became a Christian and after being born-again and so to remarry a Christian is not a mortal sin.  Besides, there are no sins that are not covered by the blood of Christ upon professing Him as Lord and Savior.  Christians who know other people that are not saved or other Christians who have been divorced and remarry should be forgiving and not judgmental.  They may not know all of the circumstances but even if it was not permitted, every one of us have sinned and will continue to sin until the day our Lord comes for us.

Fornication is not the same thing as adultery. Fornication is having sexual relationships between unmarried people and fornication is strictly forbidden by God.  Sexual abstinence is commanded before marriage, but after marriage, God wants the husband and wife to enjoy sex because that is the primary reason that He created it.

Are There Exceptions to Being Able to Remarry After a Divorce?

Some of the exceptions have already been mentioned.  If a husband or wife is abusive to them and/or their children, or if a mate leaves them, or their mate has been unfaithful in the marital relationship, then they are permitted to divorce.   An important point is that even if you become a Christian and are married to a non-believer, you have no excuse to divorce them.  The Bible does not teach such a thing and if the unbelieving spouse is willing to remain married to the believer, then by all means no divorce is permitted.  In fact, many unbelieving spouses have been brought to Christ through the loving example of Christ in the believing spouse’s life (1 Cor. 7:12-14). God may have placed you with the unbelieving spouse expressly for the purpose of helping them come to Christ in faith.  In this case, divorcing from them might have proven tragic.

God does allow for remarriage too in the cases of a spouse’s death but that the person you are marrying must be a Christian (1 Cor. 7:39).  Paul would suggest that they would be of better service to God if they remained single, as he was, but some people who have greater sexual drives may not be able to handle this (1 Cor. 7:32-36).  Paul’s greatest teachings about marriage, remarriage, and divorce are covered in 1 Corinthians chapter seven.  He says that whatever state you were in when you became a believer is the most desirable state to remain in (1 Cor. 7:17-24).  Marriage is an honorable thing before God.  It is a gift of God.  We should esteem it very highly and as a divine institution.

Was this Article Helpful?

If this article was helpful to you, please consider linking this article to your own blog or sharing this through the social buttons to the left. You might also find some of these other good Christian Answer articles helpful:

What is Speaking in Tongues?

What Are the Gifts of the Spirit?

Do Animals or Pets Go To Heaven?

Sources

The Holy Bible, New International Version

THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.



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{ 136 comments… read them below or add one }

confused August 19, 2013 at 2:14 pm

Hello, Before I became a Christian I was also married to a non believer. After affairs and a divorce I remarried another unbeliever. Two years into our marriage we became born again Christians. Because of our past we have had many arguments and disagreements and have even considered divorce. My parents who are strong Christians are urging me to divorce and after delving into the Bible I am seeing mixed advice and commands. Because of my divorce and remarriage I am going to hell but in Corinthians 7 it say after I become a believer I am to stay where I am at when God called me. I known God forgives but is also strong on us following his laws. If I divorce now won’t that be a sin as well. Now I just feel even more trapped and confused when I hear people say false preachers will decisive me into thinking I am not living in sin. Any advise or verses I can read to help me search my heart and become closer to God and properly follow his laws. Thank you.

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Jack Wellman August 19, 2013 at 7:13 pm

Hello “Confused.” Even though I respect your parents opinion and more so since you say they are strong Christians, I disagree with them. To divorce again would not solve the problem and we can not unscramble an egg as a good friend and retired pastor brother of mine has said.

By the way, we are all deserving of hell and if God kept a record of our sins, who among us could stand? Not one of us could is the answer. God is a forgiving God and just see what I mean by reading and trusting God and taking Him at His Word, as He can not lie:

1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

2 Cor 5:21 “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”

To divorce now, particularly since you are both Christian, is sin for sure. Please stay where you are now for we are to remain in whatever state we are in and after you were born again, you must know that God hates divorce and to divorce again is like trying to make two wrongs make it right. But it won’t. Don’t listen to your parents. They may be strong Christians but they are not pastors with seminary training or they are not Bible scholars. Believe what is written in the Word. When a couple marries, the first marriage ceremony says that “a man shall LEAVE his mother and father and the two shall become one (family). He is to leave his family and cleave to his wife. You are not trapped. You are free and forgiven. Claim it and don’t let parents interfere in your marriage. Shut that do to advice but not to the relationship.

When you left your parents family, you have made a new one that GOD joined together and let no man, including parents, split asunder(or apart).

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confused August 20, 2013 at 12:54 pm

Thank you Mr. Wellman for your advice, this has been heavy on my heart. My husband and I do love each other and are committed to God and hit a rough spot in our marriage. When I confided in my Mother I was completely taken aback by her advice to divorce. On my own ignorance I was not aware that the actually remarriage was considered continuous living in sin. I took comfort in Corinthians 7 praying that God truly wanted me to stay in this marriage because it was through my husbands influence that brought me to God and to get baptized. I felt sick thinking of how breaking up my family and raising my daughters alone would be wrong but also not obeying God just as wrong. Thank you for the clarity, if anything this ordeal has made me reopen my eyes as to what a Christian is and how to properly walk as a Christian. Thank you for your wisdom and time writing me. Sincerely Mary

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Jack Wellman August 20, 2013 at 2:02 pm

I thank God for women of faith such as you who went thru Job-like trials yet remained faithful to our Redeemer. I know that your rewards in heaven will be great and your children will be blessed and in fact, I am sure, are already blessed by having such a godly mother as you.

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answers August 20, 2013 at 2:33 pm

Ok I do not have a situation just a question…Is it forgivable? Is getting a divorce and getting remarried forgivable? Is divorce forgivable? Again I do not have a situation just the questions…Really… Thank you

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Jack Wellman August 20, 2013 at 2:44 pm

The only unforgiveable sin is not trusting in Christ as your Lord and Savior. Getting a divorce and then remarrying is difficult because each circumstance is different. For example, if a spouse commits ongoing, unrepentant adultery, they you are permitted a divorce according to the Bible. Divorce and remarriage is not the unpardonable or unforgiveable sin but we do know God hates divorce but it is allowed under circumstances…and unless I know more, I can not answer your question about remarriage…for example, if your spouse died, then you are permitted to divorce. Please click on Contact Us and send your question or more on your specific situation so that it can be handled privately if you wish and not done so openly. All responses or contacts to us are kept in strict confidence and your email will not be shared nor the reply with any other party.

Click on this link for more about how to contact us privately at:

http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/contact/

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Jane October 13, 2013 at 4:17 pm

Hello.

I wonder if you could clarify something for me? Is “marital unfaithfulness” confined to one party of a marriage entering into a relationship with someone outside the marriage? I have no desire to ‘twist’ the Lord’s word to meet my requirements; I don’t consider that appropriate and rather His will be done, not my own. But I’m trying to get my head around my current situation.

I divorced due to an abusive marriage eight years ago. I have two children who were also subject to the abuse from their father, with whom we no longer have any contact (as per Court Orders). I met a man a little over three years ago and we started a physical relationship together. However, one year into our relationship, I had a calling to come and know the Lord. I had to take the step of telling my mate that I had to stop being intimate with him and I was later baptised.

We are still together in our ‘relationship’ though we don’t live together. I have great faith in the Lord and his plan for me and I still love my mate very much. We have deep conversations about faith and he asks some great questions, but is yet to come and know/submit to the Lord.

Although my mate occasionally ‘hints’ at marriage, I don’t think either of us are there yet. In the meantime, it has been suggested to me that God would frown upon my continued relationship (deep friendship) with this man. It has also been suggested that I’m setting a bad example to my children.

I’m trying to take this all back to scripture so that I may live by God’s word and be a faithful Christian, but I’m going round in circles and don’t have any real clarity.

When I first became a Christian, but before being baptised, it was very clear to me that I needed to stop being intimate with my mate. However, I cannot hear the Lord telling me that I shouldn’t be in a relationship with my mate. Have I just got cotton wool in my ears because I don’t want to hear what the Lord really wants for me, or am I looking too much into what other people are telling me?

Please help.

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Jack Wellman October 13, 2013 at 10:17 pm

Jane, thank you for your comment and question. Is this mate or friend you are dating or had an intimate relationship with a Christian? That is the first thing you should establish. Maybe these “other people” are telling you this because they may know or believe that this man is not a Christian. I do agree that intimacy outside of marriage will not go unpunished by God and so am glad you stopped that but if you are considering marriage or even dating, we must not be unequally yoked, even in dating, with non-believers so my first and most important question to you Jane is, is this man a Christian? If not, it is sin to date him, not to mention even think about marriage. For more on this please read this article at:

http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/unequally-yoked-meaning-scriptures-and-lesson/

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Jane October 14, 2013 at 4:42 pm

Unfortunately, no he’s not a Christian. Neither of us were Christian’s when we met. I pray that he will come to know the Lord Jesus, but this is not in my control and I know that it is very much for the individual to respond to the Lord’s call.

Although he has hinted that he may like to be married in the future, I know that neither of us are ready yet. For my part, I really don’t think I could marry a man who did not give his heart to Jesus. I’ve already been through the pain of divorce and would not enter into a union that did not have the Lord in the center and as the perfect mediator.

Thank you for the article. I’ve printed that off will have a good read. Hopefully this will guide me further.

Ultimately, I guess my question is whether it is okay for me to continue dating my mate in the hope that he will turn to the Lord. If I were to come away from the ‘relationship’ as it is, I fear for what I would say, how I would say it, when I love this person very much.

I have been taking the relationship to the Lord in prayer for over a year now, but don’t appear to have any answer. In part, I wonder if this is simply a matter of the ‘teacher’ being quiet during the test? It’s a huge challenge personally, when emotions blur the boundaries. I want to serve and please my God by being faithful to Him, which could mean letting go of worldly or my own desires. This is a really tough task.

Thank you again for the article and please pray that the Lord will speak to me and make His commands for me very clear.

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Jane October 14, 2013 at 4:46 pm

Sadly, no he’s not a Christian. Neither of us were Christian’s when we met three years ago.

Although he has hinted that he may like to be married in the future, I know that neither of us are ready yet. For my part, I really don’t think I could marry a man who did not give his heart to Jesus. I’ve already been through the pain of divorce (albeit from an abusive relationship) and would not enter into a marriage that did not have the Lord in the center and as the perfect mediator.

Ultimately, I guess my question is whether it is okay for me to continue dating my mate in the hope that he will turn to the Lord. If I were to come away from the ‘relationship’ as it is, I fear for what I would say, how I would say it, when I actually love this person very much.

I have been taking the relationship to the Lord in prayer for over a year now, but don’t appear to have any answer. In part, I wonder if this is simply a matter of the ‘teacher’ being quiet during the test? Or have I put cotton wool in my ears because I don’t want to hear the truth? It’s a huge challenge personally, when emotions blur the boundaries. I want to serve and please my God by being faithful to Him, which could mean letting go of worldly desires. This is a really tough task.

Thank you for the article which I have printed off and will read. Please pray that the Lord will speak to me and make His commands for me very clear.

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Jack Wellman October 14, 2013 at 5:17 pm

At the risk of upsetting you, the Bible is clear that you should cut off this relationship until such a time comes that this many or mate (which term I do not like since that word is reserved for married couples) that this man repents and places his trust in Christ for to be dating an unbeliever is to be living in disobedience because the Bible tells us to not be unequally yoked or joined, even in dating, with unbelievers.

We are not to have fellowship with the darkness and what fellowship does light (Christ) have with darkness (unsaved with no Holy Spirit). Perhaps in time this man will get the message and turn to Christ but even then it takes time to establish whether he is indeed a believer for the fruits prove this or whether he simply professes Christ and not possess Christ to gain you as a wife. Please be very, very careful. Did you talk to your pastor about this? He should say the same thing.

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Jane October 15, 2013 at 11:24 am

I have now had the chance to read the article you provided and it speaks very clearly to me. I will be meeting with my Pastor in the coming days and will ask for guidance in this matter. Thank you for your responses to my situation. Jane

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Jack Wellman October 15, 2013 at 11:31 am

Thank you Jane….I thank God for you and your passionate pursuit of striving for obedience to God and to make the best of a difficult situation. I pray for you my friend and hope God richly blesses you in this severe trial in your life.

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GodForgaveMeForMyDivorce November 24, 2013 at 11:47 am

Hello,
I posted my situation back in August. I was contemplating divorcing my husband of two months because he was verbally and mentally abusive and controlling. In addition, he called me a demon and would follow me around the house, and turn off and on the lights, look through the window blinds in the middle of the night, and every five minutes lay down, switch positions, get up turn off and on the lights… all night. He also would through my stuff on the floor and use holy oil to get the spirits off of it. I tried everything to get him to seek counseling for himself and then for our marriage. He was unwilling… In addition, to the craziness he told me that we weren’t married..and started to act as if he was single. He’d also leave and not come back until the next day…and much more! I decided to follow through with my divorce and although I felt convicted, and I do know divorce is a sin. It was one of the wisest decisions that I’ve done. At first was worried if God would forgive me. However, Jesus did give my heart rest. Jesus also helped me realize why we need has grace and mercy. People in church will try to condemn you for getting out of a physical and mentally abusive marriage and encourage you to stay. But I find it hard to believe if they would tell their children to stay in a marriage where their child is being abused physically or mentally, cheated on, and etc.

The truth is that all sin can be forgiven except the unpardonable sin. Just because someone is divorced doesn’t mean they are an adulterer for life. If Christ forgave murders, prostitutes, adulterer, fornicators, people who were possessed with demons in the New Testament… he can forgive people who commits the same sins now-a-days. Once someone sins and ask for forgiveness their sins are forgiven. It is up to Jesus to judge whether or not that person is sincere when repenting.

In the New Testament the Pharisees and Sadducees had a big problem with legalism. They were so strict on obeying the law, a law that even them themselves weren’t able to fulfill! Yet they put heavy burdens and yokes on people, as as a lot of Christians do now-a-days. In Matthew 23:13-36 Jesus expresses how wrong the Pharisees and Sadducees were for being obnoxiously condemning and hypocritical in regards to legalism. Jesus pointed us that they neglected to show justice, mercy and faithfulness.

EVERYONE SINS…. whether divorce, stealing, lying, cheating, not trusting God, having fear… etc

In Luke 3:1-20 John The Baptist, told the teachers of the law to “bear fruits in keeping with repentance.” Which basically means that if we are sincere when we confess are sins before God and ask for forgiveness there should be fruit (the fruit representing a change in us). This is how God knows if someone is serious when they repent (their fruit will show it). Christianity isn’t black and white, there aren’t a whole bunch of rules (aka laws) that we have to follow like the laws in the Old Testament. Jesus tells us to do two things which is to LOVE him more than anything and then LOVE our neighbors as we love ourselves. Following these two commandments doesn’t guarantee that Christians are never going to sin, yet if we follow these commandments it guarantees that when/if we do sin, we SHOULD feel convicted because we LOVE God more than anything that we would never intentionally commit the same sins over again. So then we will be bearing fruits in keeping with repentance.

I am going to sum the last paragraph up in a practical example…For example… this is just an example…Let’s say I am a Christian and I know that fornication is a sin. Therefore, I stopped fornicating and I’ve been doing well for a couple of months and some how I slipped up…..and I am sincerely sorry and I have asked God for forgiveness and I ask him to help me to be able to resist sexual urges until after marriage…and I work hard daily by praying, fasting, and reading the word of God to help me with being able to avoid temptation…(after all Jesus tell us to die to ourselves daily and the only way to die to our sins daily is to stay focused on Christ by reading the word and communicating with Christ). So, now I’ve been celibate for two years…. I have the whole celibacy down pack and now let me work on profanity…So, now I am going to stop using profanity and I might slip up or I might not but the importance of this is that I am really trying (praying, fasting, reading the word of God) to tackle my daily sin, daily…(with the help of Christ). <<<That is what John The Baptist was speaking about in Luke 3:1-20 that is bearing fruits in keeping with repentance.

GOD WILL FORGIVE YOU…. NEVER STAY IN ABUSIVE MARRIAGE BECAUSE YOU FEAR THAT JESUS WILL NOT FORGIVE YOU.

JESUS LOVES YOU…..I hope my story helps others.

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Matt December 4, 2013 at 4:35 pm

Jack,
I disagree with your position on divorce in the case of abuse. I believe the abuser must face the legal realities of prison or restraining order but scripture does not say abuse. God may use the downfall of the abuser to do many things in the life of the abused and abusive spouse. I believe all adultery is abuse (at least emotionally) but not all abuse is adultery. The amount of growth needed to forgive and reconcile with an abusive and/or unfaithful spouse would be beyond the comprehension of anyone who has not been through those trials, but God calls us to forgive (70 X 7) and that He is faithful to complete the work he has began in us. Despite God’s faithfulness to forgive us when we repent, we often don’t feel obliged to forgive others so freely. We tend to overlook the fact that our own sin nailed Christ to the cross and our spouses sin against us pales in comparison.

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GodForgaveMeForMyDivorce December 5, 2013 at 3:36 pm

Matt,
The bottom line is that divorce is a sin. However, if a Christian gets a divorce whether they know that getting a divorce is a sin or not, if they repent and are sincere their sins will be forgiven.

Do you think that the only way God can change or influence an abuser is by allowing the abuser to keep abusing the one he is abusing? That’s absurd.

Jesus uses everyone differently. However, Jesus has many ways that he can influence and change a non believer or believer. I doubt the only way he can change a non believer or believer is by using his daughters of Christ to get punched in the fast by their own husbands, beaten, rapped by their own husbands, slapped, cut, disrespected verbally, cheated on, contracting disease from infidelity. Staying with someone who does these things doesn’t mean that it will change the abuser. It just makes Christian marriages look great on the outside and full of crap in the inside. Women are not called to be abused doormats.

If King David, Solomon, Hosea and Paul lived in this time…I wonder if they would be condemned by fellow Christians.

MUST WATCH VIDEO ==> http://www.highpointeaustin.org/sermons/the-dangers-of-judgmentalism-and-the-certainty-of-gods-judgment-matthew-71-5

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GodForgaveMeForMyDivorce December 5, 2013 at 3:52 pm

Oh yeah…

I am not promoting divorce! By God’s grace I would never [want to] promote sin. However, I am not promoting legalism either. When I got divorced I felt a very heavy yoke from Christians who sin just like I do. People are quick to condemn and judge and are slow to show grace and mercy.

Divorcing my husband is not something I am proud of ONLY because I value my relationship with Christ. It’s something that I did and I don’t feel like I have to answer to anyone else but Christ. I have not remarried because I am fixing myself spiritually, emotionally and financially before I consider marriage. I do plan on getting married again after I get myself together.

For the singles who are reading this. Be patient dearly beloved… wait on the Lord to reveal your spouse to you. Even if it takes 10 years. Pray to God for patience and joy while waiting….and never settle for a spouse that is not God’s best. Also, get to know his/her family and most importantly make sure that your THEOLOGIES match. Don’t mistake lust for love… Don’t trade happiness for companionship..Once again make sure your theologies match.

Women marry a man that 1)love God 2)have the same theology as you 3)can take care of himself 3)kind 4)wise 5)someone who you would not mind helping get to where God wants him to be 6) someone who would not mind helping you get to where God wants you to be

Better happy and single then married and miserable.

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Confused February 10, 2014 at 12:06 pm

Okay ~ my situation is quite the confusing one, but one I hope I can gain some insight…..

I am a Catholic dating a born-again Christian (twice divorced) ~ I am on my journey towards salvation. I have been attending services and are daily fell the call of Jesus.

My question is this ~ my boyfriend lately went to his elders to ask about possibly proposing marriage. Well, along with the fact that I am still a Catholic and two he has divorced twice before coming to Christ.

To add another wrench in all of this, he was the adulterer in his last marriage…

Where, if anywhere, does this leave us?

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Jack Wellman February 10, 2014 at 12:12 pm

Thank you “Confused” for your question. What did the elders tell your boyfriend? Was he saved before or after his marriage and adultery? If a person was saved and then committed adultery and then divorced and was not restored to his wife, technically he cannot remarry but you have not filled in many of the details of this so I am not sure how to answer. The biggest issue was if he was saved before he got married because he may not well be able to remarry. Have you spoken with the “elders” too about this. I suggest you both got, not to the elders but to the pastor and council with him over this first off. Also, if this works out, are you willing to leave the Catholic church or is he willing to leave his own church so that you both can attend the same church? It will not work out well if you are both attending different churches.

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Sue February 11, 2014 at 2:34 pm

Dear Jack

Thank you for your time in writing insightful articles on the scriptures.
I feel that my husband has no respect or love for me. I don’t want to go into details, but please can you advise whether emotional abuse is permissible for a divorce. There is no physical abuse except for a couple of shoves over the years and, as far as I am aware, no adultery.
He screams at me in front of our very young child, who now takes it upon her shoulders to ask whether mummy is okay after daddy shouted at her. I can see that this is affecting her badly.
I am not saying I want to divorce, but it’s an option I am considering as a last resort, as I am tired and feel this has gone too far for counseling… Perhaps because it has caused me to feel indifferently towards him. Anyway, it won’t stop, unless has a true change of heart (for more than a week).

Thank you for your valued guidance.

May God bless you and your family.

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Jack Wellman February 11, 2014 at 9:31 pm

I believe we need to pray for this man’s soul because he doesn’t sound saved and the wrath of God is what he will face someday (Rev 20:11-15) for only God can change a sinners heart (Prov 21:1) so pray for that. Tell others to join us in praying for him and that God converts his heart and he sees the need for repentance and to confess his sins and trust in Christ. I know you don’t really want a divorce and so that is pleasing to God and so let’s pray and I ask others to do the same thing. Keep in touch because the Bible gives no allowance for divorce because of verbal or emotional abuse. I am sorry that I couldn’t give you more hope but God is a big God. Love him unconditionally, pray, and leave the rest up to God and God will honor your efforts for this.

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Sue February 12, 2014 at 12:44 am

Thank you, Jack.
You have indeed offered hope, in the way of prayer.
I really appreciate your taking the time to respond, and I will continuously keep your advice in mind and pray for my marriage.
I thank God for people like you.

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Jack Wellman February 12, 2014 at 8:04 am

My pleasure Sue. Please do stay in touch my friend.

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Jack Wellman February 12, 2014 at 3:51 pm

Sue, I love praying for people in such circumstances as you and I thank God for you that you want to do what is right and to obey God and I will pray for you my friend. Never give up for He (God) never gives up on us and His love never fails.

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Lindsey February 15, 2014 at 12:31 pm

Thank you Jack. I watched a sermon online where the pastor said if we mess up a marriage we shouldn’t be aloud to mess up another one. When I was right out of highschool my boyfriend asked me to help him get his greencard which required me to marry him. I knew it was wrong so I kept my last name and hid it from my family.I was unsaved at the time. I eventually left him and divorced him because I couldn’t live the lie anymore. A year after the divorce was final I married a Godly man got saved and we have 2 beautiful children. It grieved me and has had me depressed thinking God would want me to leave abandon my family and go back to that messed up relationship. Please pray for me. God Bless you!!!

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Jack Wellman February 15, 2014 at 12:41 pm

I will pray for you Lindsey. I do grieve with you in this and pray also and petition others to join Lindsey and myself in this most worthy cause in which to pray for. Thank you for your open honesty.

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amanda March 27, 2014 at 12:19 pm

hi, i came across this site while looking for an answer to a question i have and was wondering if anyone could help. my partner and i came to the lord and were born again about 2 and a half years ago, however we are unmarried but have 4 children together one of which is disabled. i have matured spiritually much more quickly than my partner, have received the baptism of the holy spirit and have been gifted with the ability to teach women and children. my pastor has now told me i am not to use this gift as i am living in sin, but teaches regularly that any god given gift is not to be kept to ourselves but is for the church and that by not using our gifts we are holding back our brethrens blessings. i know and understand i cannot be an elder and have no desire to be a decon, my sisters are asking for my help in teaching and i don’t want to be rebellious, what should i do?

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Jack Wellman March 27, 2014 at 12:41 pm

Your pastor is right Amanda. No one who claims to be born again and continues living in sin is really saved. Living in sin at present, you are not qualified to teach as you will read in the New Testament about the lifestyle of a teacher must be above reproach. You said “my sisters are asking for my help in teaching and i don’t want to be rebellious” but your true rebellion that you should worry about is living in a sexually immoral situation. Are you more worried about “rebelling” against your sisters? Or against God? What are you teaching your children by example? You are showing them by living this way that it is okay to have sex outside of marriage and that marriage is not important. Let John Himself warn you that in 1 John 3:4-10 this is very serious and by your lifestyle it shows me evidence that you are NOT saved and it is actually God speaking since He inspires all Scripture: “Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness. 5 You know that he appeared in order to take away sins, and in him there is no sin. 6 No one who abides in him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known him. 7 Little children, let no one deceive you. Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, as he is righteous. 8 Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil. 9 No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God’s seed abides in him, and he cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God. 10 By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother.” (my emphasis).

I realize that this may make you angry but I must speak to you in love, not just as a pastor, but as a Christian that you and your husband are sinning a great sin and those who continue is sin are not born again (1 John 3:4-10) and those who practice such things will NOT inherit the kingdom of heaven (Gal 5:19-21).

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