And let the wife see that she respects her husband. That’s what Paul wrote in the second half of Ephesians 5:33. Respect is something that I believe has diminished throughout the years. So many marriages begin well and end poorly because men and women are not properly trained in how to treat one another. God has specific roles for the husband and the wife and when we stay within those roles we have happy marriages and good family lives. Respect is something that should be mutual between all members of the family, but for this article I want to give some helpful hints for wives on how to respect their husbands. (For a related article read “How to Love Your Wife: 7 Helpful Tips”)
Respect His Leadership
God gave you your husband as the leader in your home. This means that he is not only the Spiritual leader; he is the one who make decisions. Women are ill-equipped to make large decisions; we are far too emotional for that big responsibility. Your part in the decision process could be to help him be the leader by providing him with information that will aid in decision-making. And remember that just because you provided information, this does not mean that your husband will consider that information. He chooses what to use in the decision process; a wise husband will ask for his wife’s advice. When he chooses not to consider your information and/or advice let him take responsibility for the decision, be it good or bad. Never, ever say “I told you so” or words to that effect when a decision has gone bad. When he makes good decisions thank him for taking that burden. Remember to avoid getting leadership and advice from other males in your life such as your pastor, friend or even your brother. Take a look at what the Bible says about your husband’s role as leader and head of the wife:
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.
Ephesians 5:22-24 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Respect His Provision
This is a Biblical principle that has been overlooked in our modern world. In the day of the two-income family, we have come to depend upon the wife’s income to provide for the needs of the family. This ought not to be. Don’t misunderstand; I realize that sometimes it is necessary for a woman to work outside of the home, in the case where the husband is physically unable. However, when your husband is able to provide for the family – let him do it! Here is the Biblical standard on the husband as the provider:
Genesis 3:17-20 And to Adam he said, ”Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, ’You shall not eat of it,’ cursed is the ground because of you; in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life; thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you; and you shall eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”
1 Timothy 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
Respect His Maleness
Accept the fact that God made you the weaker vessel. This is one of those things that have taken me many years to do. I am a strong willed woman and many times I have tried to do things that I needed not to do. I now am thankful that my husband carries the heavy packages and opens the doors for me. He is being what God has made him to be, my protector – not only for safely sake but for my own health and well-being. You were created for him, as his helper. Let your husband be the strong one and when he is, praise him for it and thank God for him. Let him open that pickle jar; even if you loosened it for him. Here are some Bible verses for this hint:
Genesis 2:18 Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
1 Corinthians 11:9 Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.
1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Respect as an Attitude
There are times when the husband is not respectful to the wife. This does not give you license to be disrespectful. You cannot control his actions, but you can control your reactions. You see, respect is not only seen in your actions (as a verb) but it is also seen in your attitude (as a noun). When you show an attitude of respect toward your husband he will think twice about the way that he is treating you. Love him, even when he is unlovely. Serve him, even when he seems not to appreciate your service. Listen to him, even when you may not understand what he is talking about. Be attentive to his physical needs, even when you are tired. God will bless you and your marriage when you remember to have a respectful attitude. Bible guidelines for this are:
Romans 12:21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Philippians 2:3-4 (KJV) Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.
Philippians 4:13 (KJV) I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
1 Peter 3:1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives
Respect His Reputation
Don’t air your dirty laundry. When you are in the company of others you should never be saying things that tear your husband down. Instead you should be saying only good about him. Brag on him! Be faithful to him in thought, word and deed. This includes what you say and do in front of the children. Teach them to respect their Daddy, he is their protector too and they should see him as a hero. The Bible is loaded with this concept, here are a few verses:
Proverbs 12:7 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.
Proverbs 31:11-12 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
Romans 14:19 Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.
Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
Respect His Home
Make your house a home, no matter what the living circumstance. Make it comfortable and clean. Make the bed. Clean up the dirty dishes. Keep up with the laundry. Your husband works hard and he deserves a cozy home after a hard day. Get up before your husband and the children – set the tone for the day. When you have things in order your day will run smoother for your entire household. Teach the children to clean up after themselves and how to do daily and weekly chores. All this should be done without grumbling or complaining.
Proverbs 14:1 The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.
Proverbs 31:15 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.
Proverbs 31:27 she looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Philippians 2:14 Do all things without grumbling or questioning
Titus 2:4-5 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
Respect Yourself; Work on Being The Best Wife
Being a wife doesn’t just happen. I am thankful that many years ago I had a group of very godly wives praying for me when I was a career-bound wife and mom. I believe to this day that they “prayed” me home! They were not perfect women, nor am I. The thing that I want to encourage you in is that there are other women out there that have been where you are. They are the women who successfully manage a home and may even have a bushel of children that they are raising as well. Learn from them. Ask them how they do it. See if there is a lady’s Bible study group in your church that you can join. Get some Christian girlfriends if you haven’t already done that. Above all, get daily in the Word. Pull your resources together so that you are able to have an organized time with the Lord each day. Personal Spiritual growth is essential for your relationship with God and ultimately with your husband. Redeem the time, spend time doing things that you know will please the Lord.
Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Ephesians 5:15-16 (KJV) See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
Colossians 4:5 (KJV) Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time.
2 Timothy 2:15 (KJV) Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
Titus 2:3-5 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
Sources:
The Holy Bible, King James Version
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version
“Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
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{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }
first God created man. then he had a better idea.
This is offensive to women and is defeating everything that strong real women have worked towards in the last 50 years.
Hi Christina, Thank you for taking the time to comment on this article. I am not sure where you found what you seem to be quoting “first God created man, then he had a better idea.” It is clear from the Biblical account in Genesis 2 that God created woman because there was no suitable mate for him. I find it a blessing that God did create woman because without that I would not exist. I am a strong woman because of God, my strength comes from Christ as the Bible says: “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)
This article was written assuming the wife is a stay at home wife not one with a job/career.
“Be attentive to his physical needs, even when you are tired.”
So you’re saying that women should have sex with her husband every time he says so even if she isn’t in the mood?
A lot of this article I understand and agree with but a lot I don’t.
Hi Angie, Please forgive me for my delayed response to your comment and thank you for taking the time to post it here.
This article is directed to all women whom are married. I was clear to address the specific roles of the husband and the wife according to Scripture. Male or female, as Christians we are called to esteem others greater than ourselves (Phil 2:3-5) and to walk in love (Eph 5). A wife who loves her husband will be attentive to his physical needs. A husband who loves his wife will be aware of his wife’s need for rest. When we love each other, God makes a way for physical relations no matter how we feel. Loving our husband means we put him above ourselves. This kind of love is a “selfless” giving. It is an action. Just as “God so loved the world that He “gave”; we too should give all that we can to love our husband. Yes, sometimes that means “having sex” when we are “not in the mood”. It comes down to thinking on the right things Angie. When we are focused on what God would have us to do, He makes a way.
I pray that you are able to meditate upon God’s Word and trust Him to make your marriage all that it is designed to be. Blessings to you!
What a joke. Allowing your husband to disrespect your body and just going with the motions of having sex is wrong.
My stepdad beats my mom and verbally abuses her but basically you’re saying it doesn’t matter because she’s the wife and he’s the boss.
That is SO NOT what she is saying. It’s not, “she’s the wife and he’s the boss”. The ideal marriage is like the relationship between Christ and the Church (Eph 5:22-24). Your stepfather is not following in this relationship model, and it is crucial to your mother’s health that she seek help to get out of this relationship.
I have made the commitment I will never tell my husband no to sex *simply because I don’t feel like it*. My attitude should be that his needs are more important than mine, just like his attitude should be that my needs are more important than his. If he was abusing me, I’d get outta there asap. The submission of wives is NOT license for the husband to abuse her EVER.
I am so blessed and understand that for me, the husband, I am commanded to love my wife as Christ loves the church, so when I try my humanly best to do this, my wife naturally does want to give me respect. Christ gave His life for the church and so I try to give my physical life and words of love and support to my beloved wife. I do the dishes, clean the litter box, and so on not because I am trying to win her love but because I DO love her. That way when she is as tired as I am since we both work, she sees me supporting her as much as she does me. Love is a verb…its what you do, so I sense that men also have to give of themselves so that their wives will respect them. I love how you described the verb and noun form of respect. This is so awesome Pam. Marriage is not a 50-50 proposition but a 100% effort from both. God bless you for your labor of love in this work.
Thank you for this article. I 100% agree with it. I wish I would of read this eleven years ago. Even though I have heard these words often in church and bible study throughout the years, I believe that reading it and seeing it all put together here in print helps so much more. I can really understand it now. I am also in a better place in GOD to receive it now. Thank you for the article. I think it should be reprinted and distributed to every woman before she gets married. Every preacher who is conducting pre-marital counseling should distribute this article to the couples. Couples should also read it annually to remind them of how they should conduct themselves in a marriage to use it to check themselves and make sure they are living up to GOD’s standards for their marriage. Thank you again for the correct biblical guideance that you have offered here. Keep up the good work.
Oh Daisy, Thank you for your words of encouragement. I am touched by your generous comments here at WCWTK.
I’m pregant with twins (35 weeks) and separated from my bible believing husband who choked me. Reading this literally made me contract. These christian articles about women upset me because they are written in such a demeaning way. The bible doesn’t put women down in this way and I don’t understand why other women would use the bible to encourage men with abusive tendencies. Also how do you respect someone that won’t move from their parents home and let’s his mother control the marriage and the children? Honestly I don’t know what you people mean by respect. According to my husband I think it means don’t talk. Women are not supposed to be whipping posts (physically or emotionally). Why do christians hate women and then use the bible to justify why you should suck it up and smile. No one is reminding the husband to love your wife like Christ loved the church or that men and wives submit to each other. The one guy that posted seems really nice and I wish there were more like him. I don’t mean to upset the mood here but I’m in a lot of pain over my marriage and respecting someone who endorsed hurting me and is still hurting me on so many levels is very hard for me to take.
Thanks for your comment Kate. An article was already written and set to publish tomorrow on How a Husband should love their wives like Christ loved the church. God is good! It defiantely works both ways as the Bible calls a Husband to love his wife and a wife to respect their husband. I hope you come back to the site tomorrow to read this next article.
Hello Kate, I am very sorry to hear that your husband is not loving you the way that he should. Please know that I in no way endorse any person whom mistreats and especially physically abuses another person, whether it is a man or a woman. You are absolutely correct when you say that women are not supposed to be whipping posts. I urge you that if this is happening that you should report it to the proper authorities immediately. As our site administrator mentioned earlier, there is another article that posted on December 3rd regarding how husbands ought to love their wives. You can read that article at this link: http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/how-to-love-your-wife-7-helpful-tips/ I am sad that what I have shared from the Bible has upset you Kate, truly I am. Please know that I do not hate women, nor do I ever suggest that you should “suck it up and smile” when you are being abused. Disrespect is one thing — abuse is entirely a different thing and should be reported to the proper authorities. Kate please do this and seek safely. Again, I am so sorry that this article upset you so and pray that you will do what is necessary to be safe.
“Women are ill-equipped to make large decisions; we are far too emotional for that big responsibility.”
…Seriously? Where does the Bible put women down like that? Who decided what Ruth and Naomi did before Boaz “came along”? I think part of the honor of respecting one’s husband is choosing (with God’s help) to submit to him, not simply following him because we’re incapable of getting along without him. I hypothesize that may be part of the reason God made us stubborn humans instead of an extra multitude of majestic angels – because we choose (with God’s help) to turn away from sinful nature come to Him.
Luke 15:7 I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.
Hi Lauren, I had prepared a response to you a while back and then had computer problems. Please forgive me for the delayed response. I will re-post it in a few minutes.
Hi Lauren,
Regarding your response to my statement that “Women are ill-equipped to make large decisions; we are far too emotional for that big responsibility”. You asked where does the Bible put women down like that? The answer to your question is – the Bible does not put women down anywhere. This was my statement and in my opinion it is not a “put down” to trust God and our husbands with the leadership responsibility of making decisions. When we have a husband, we should be able to count on him for this. When we do not have a husband, then leadership comes from our “husbandman” ; who is God the Father (John 15:1).
You also asked “Who decided what Ruth and Naomi did before Boaz “came along”? We can read about these women in the book of Ruth in the Bible. Here is a summary: Naomi was married to a man named Elimelech. They had two sons who were also married. The wives of the sons were Orpah and Ruth. Because of the famine in the land of Moab, where they lived, Elimelech died, leaving Naomi as a widow. Later the sons died and Orpah and Ruth were also widowed. Naomi knew that there was food in Judah so she wanted to go there (which was her homeland). She expected that her daughters-in-law would not go with her since they were Moabites. Surprisingly, Ruth wanted to go with Naomi while Orpah stayed behind. Throughout the book of Ruth we can read how Naomi and Ruth trusted the LORD to be their guide in all that they did. In Ruth’s appeal to Naomi she said: “… Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the LORD do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me…” (Ruth 1:16-17). So you can see Lauren, that the LORD was the leader of Naomi and Ruth. They followed His leadership and later He blessed them with Boaz – a new husband for Ruth.
As to your comment about “submitting”. Submission is the act of placing ourselves under the leadership of another, because we respect and trust that role in our leader. I agree with you in that submission does allow us to have a choice to submit or not to submit, but remember when we step outside of the role that God has put us into, we open ourselves to the consequence that will come with that free-will choice.
And to your last point; I believe the Bible supports the idea that even though we are saved by grace through faith (Eph 2:8-9), our “sin nature” remains and that while we are here on this planet we continue to wrestle against Spiritual wickedness (Eph 6:12). But by the power of the Holy Spirit, who indwells every believer, we can walk in the Spirit and mortify the flesh (Gal 5:16ff; Rom 8:13)
I hope you understand that I am merely sharing what I believe God has designed as the role of the wife. I am thankful that you have taken the time to comment here at WCWTK. I pray blessings on you as you meditate upon His Word.
this is splendid, every woman should read this article, is about Godly woman.
from God’s mouth is wisdom and knowledge, whom ever finds it finds life.
Hi Amy, thank you for taking the time to post your words of encouragement. Blessings to you!
Hi Pam…
How are you…
I just want to know is this website for help as well to ask you (advice)…?!
Regards
Michelle
Hi Michelle, You may ask me for some advice if you like. My responses will be based upon my study of the Bible. I will look forward to hearing from you.
I’ve just read your above post and must observe that had my ex wife observed these things, we would be looking forward to our 20th anniversary, rather than just missing our 7th. Further, our net worth would be 7 figures, allowing us both retire early and live comfortably. We could have done so much more for son and daughter, but the financial assets were squandered on attorneys and absurd legal struggles. We both now live lives of struggle and want and quiet desperation.
Those who criticize disagree with you miss the whole point. Marriage is about about giving even when it isn’t easy. Marriage does indeed have roles defined over the ages because these roles are the best opportunity for a successful marriage, when marriage success is defined as a happy and fulfilled Man and Wife living in a home that is shelter from the grind and distress of the outside world. The only place a husband can find that shelter is in the arms of his loving and respectful wife. Marriage is not a place to practice the self centered doctrines of feminism, but rather the biblical instructions on how to succeed in marriage. Any woman who practiced your instructions given above my comments would be cherished by me above any amount of earthly treasure; she’d know it by my deeds, and my clumsy attempts to express it with words both privately and publicly.
Craig, I appreciate that you took the time to leave your comment here, even though it appears that you are living beyond a failed marriage. Thank you for your encouragement through your words of heart-felt and “experienced” advice. I pray that more husbands and wives look to the Bible for a blueprint for marriage. I pray that the Lord blesses you as you continue to seek His Word for dealing with the issues of life.
Hi pam in the book of ephisians paul says husbands love your wives as you love yourselves no man who hates his body.doesn’t that mean men and woman are equal they just have different roles. And in the book of galatians it says” you are all sons of God through faith in christ Jesus for all of you who were baptised into christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither jew nor greek, slave nor free, male nor female for you are all one in christ Jesus. I believe the death of christ set us free, as women we still have to play our roles but we are as capable as men to make sound decisions concerning our marriage. In proverbs the word says the house is built with the wisdom of women and destroyed by foolishness and how can a wife built her house without questioning her husband’s judgement. Thank u keep encouraging us. God bless you
Hi Nonhlanhla,
Thank you for sharing your comments on the Scriptures. I agree men and women are equally children of God (sons of God) through faith in Jesus. I believe God gave us roles and when we stay within our roles our marriages are blessed. Clearly in Scripture as I stated in this article, the man is the head of the wife. When it comes to decision making the leader is the one who makes the final decision. A loving husband will solicit information from his wife in order to make sound decisions sometimes. Sometimes a wife may have information that the husband does not have. When she feels that this information will help in decision making she may appeal her husband’s decision. However, when a wife questions her husband’s decision out of rebellion (because she simply does not want to or thinks she does not need to submit to his authority), she is going against what God has ordained for the family. God warns husbands about mistreating and disrespecting their wives (1 Peter 3:7). One other thing, husbands sometimes will give their wives authority over certain domains in the household — such as mine gives me authority over the budget. However my husband is still overall responsible for providing for our family and good stewardship of our finances.
Let’s look at your Proverbs: Prov 9:1 “Wisdom hath builded her house, she hath hewn out her seven pillars”; Prov 14:1 “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” and Prov 24:3 “Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established”.
Now let’s go a little deeper: The Bible defines Wisdom in 1 Cor 1:30 “But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption”. And understanding is defined in Proverbs 9:10 “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.” I am not sure how you interpret that the house is built by the wisdom of women. Clearly Wisdom = Christ Jesus. In the marriage the husband represents Christ and the wife represents the Church and this is why we as wives submit to our husbands (Eph 5:22-25). Continuing into Eph 5:26 the husband is commanded to be in the Word and to teach it to his wife so that we are sanctified (set apart) with him.
Nonhlanhla, I have enjoyed digging into the Word about marriage. I hope you will come back again to WCWTK and share your comments whenever you desire. Blessings to you!
Hi Pam, Thanks for what you do. I am currently teaching a Love and Respect class and I like your responses to these folks who seemed to ms-interprite your article. But I am having hard time finding your articles thru a web site. How can I find these articles in conversation?
Thanks
Hello Paul, I believe we always need to respond to folks in a spirit of love and respect. I am not certain what you are referring to when you say you are having a hard time finding these articles. All articles are posted at http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/. Thank you for stopping by to leave your words of encouragement an I hope you visit again real soon.
Hello Pam,
Thank you so much for this article, and God Bless You!!
I have a question, what happens when you keep giving respect and putting your husband above all, but he doesn’t always do so.
What do I do? It’s hard for me to ignore the fact that he’s hurt and upset me. Things I would never do to him because I love him too much for that. How can I handle this? It’s hard, because sometimes I want to hurt him in the same way, so he understands how it made me feel.
I am struggling with this..
Thanks again
Hi Kay. I am so happy you stopped by. Continue to love him even when he us unlovely. He may learn from your grace and love. Remember vengence belongs to the Lord. You are doing the right thing and you can count on me to make this a matter of prayer. Keep loving him in an active way sister.
Hello Pam,
Thank you very much for your reply.
I do continue to love him.
My question is, what if he thinks what’s he’s doing is okay and he can get away with it. Isn’t he going to keep doing it? What happens if he doesn’t acknowledge how his actions made me feel, or even apologise for his mistake. If I act like everything is okay, then he may continue in his ways.
Or do I just go to God in prayer and hope that he makes a change? Even though I’m hurt and he hasn’t apologized, should I forgive him and move on? Acting like it didn’t happen?
That’s what I find hardest the most.
What will you do Pam, what will you recommend I do?
I strive really hard to be a virtous woman/wife. I’ve been married only 8months, so I am still trying to understood my place, my husbands place and God’s place in our marriage.
Thanks for your support.
Hi again Kay, I truly understand your point and again I want to encourage you that you are doing the right thing. You can not change how your husband treats you, you can only love him and show him the right way to love by how you love him. As I said in my first reply, loving the unlovely is perhaps the most difficult thing to do. I pray that you continue daily n the Word with God about this Kay. And I want to also encourage you in what the Bible (God Word) says you should do, it is repeated over and over “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you (Eph 4:32) — this is what I would do my friend.
I have written about how to “Love One Another” and at the bottom of that article you will see some practical ways you, as the wife, can love your husband. Please take a look at this and study out the Bible verses there as well as the ones I share with you here … don’t rely upon my words Kay, look to God for your answers, I am happy to lead you in His way.
http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/love-one-another-bible-verses-and-life-application/
We are encouraged and even commanded to love everyone. Our conduct should be kind and tenderhearted towards one another. And there are no strings attached to it. We do it because we love (John 13:36; 1 John 4:20; Romans 12:10; Luke 6:31; 1 Peter 4:8; Gal 5:13; 1 John 4:11; Romans 13:8; 1 Cor 13:1-13)
My Pastor preached on this very passage this morning. I agree with God’s Word 100%. I am trying to figure out how to apply this to my life right now. My husband and I are separated at this time. I am almost 9 months clean from drug abuse. During my time of drug abuse, I stole money from my boss and had an affair. I confessed everything to my husband in September 2011. I also truly accepted Christ as my Savior on September 20, 2011. We have been separated since my confession. I am now so hungry for God and God’s Word that it is all that I want to do. I am trusting His Word in Malachi 2:16 when God says, “I hate divorce” and in Joel 2:25 where He says that if we rend our hearts to Him, He will restore the years the locust devoured. I have no doubts that my marriage will be restored. In the meantime, I do not know how to fulfill the instruction of Ephesians 5. My husband and I communicate everyday. He has gone to counseling with me a couple of times but my counseling is for my benefit to deal with childhood rape by my father and brothers and is not for the benefit of our marriage. He is attending a recovery program with me each week and goes to Sunday School with me every week and sits with me in worship service. (We have always gone to church. I have taught Sunday School, led VBS and played the piano there for years, all as a lost person.) Now that I am seeking God’s Will and striving to be obedient, I am at a loss as to how to apply this scripture to my life right now. I suppose that I am just looking for some direction and guidance. I am praying about what to do but am terribly frustrated at the moment.
Thanks!
Sherri
Sherri, you are to be congratulated on your being clean and sober for 9 months! Wow. That is a glory to God and your perserverance. Will keep on praying for we can do all things thru Christ and you at least are remaining in the faith. I heard once that God is always ready to reveal His mighty hand just before the darkest storms of life occur (Charles Spurgeon who suffered much). You can count on our prayers my friend. You are heading in the right direction and striving, reading Scripture, having overcome drug abuse, and seeking to obey God’s will be hating divorce as God does. I truly pray that He reveals His strong arm soon for your sake Sherri.