E-Mail 'How Can You Help Bring Someone Out Of A Cult?' To A Friend

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Mikael Holmgaard March 25, 2019 at 9:10 am

Hi would you also pray my wife she is in a Christensen cult
Pray God Will open here eyes i am my self a bliver but dont belive What she is teach

Jack Wellman March 25, 2019 at 1:20 pm

Great prayer. I am with you on this.

Irene Nneka September 23, 2019 at 10:44 am

I have a friend that is in a serious cult, my friends discourage me from being close to him saying his opponents might hurt me if I try to save his soul, I’m in a dilemma , I need advice.

Jack Wellman September 23, 2019 at 11:26 am

Hello Irene. I am so glad you care about your friend in this cult. I pray you follow the advice and one thing is certain, only God can change the human heart…even that of a pagan king (Prov 21:1). I will pray for this person…have others in your church pray for your friend (without mentioning the name). As I said, It’s best to try and speak with cult members when they’re away from the members of the group, because the person in a cult won’t feel comfortable speaking to family and friends if other cult members are present.

“Do everything you can to stay in touch,” says Janja Lalich, a sociology professor and consultant who studies cults and coercive influence and control. If you’re trying to persuade someone to leave a cult, supply reminders of the world beyond it by calling, emailing, writing letters, sending photographs and maybe even visiting, although Lalich warns that anyone can get lured into a cult. You should visit “only if you feel strong enough to resist,” she says.

Don’t try to forcibly remove someone, even if you’re gravely concerned. In the 1960s, ’70s and ’80s, families often hired so-called deprogrammers to kidnap and hold cult members against their will. While that often worked, abduction is illegal, and the technique was discredited after a Washington man successfully sued his deprogrammer in 1995. Today’s preferred method is “exit counseling,” and it requires persuasion by therapists, lawyers, friends and family members.

Try to get one-on-one time, and if you do, don’t use it to harp. Instead, ask questions and make sure you’ve already collected anti-cult evidence like news articles or memoirs. “Video testimonials from former cult members can be particularly persuasive,” says Lalich, who spent a decade as part of a radical Marxist-Leninist group in the 1970s and ’80s that she now considers a cult. During that time, Lalich had what she thought of as a little shelf in the back of her mind. That is where she stowed doubts, questions or concerns. “At some point all of those things get too heavy and the shelf breaks and that’s when they’ll realize they need to get out,” Lalich says. “Your job is to get them to put more things on their shelf.”

Give some thought to working with a team of friends or family to set up a good-cop, bad-cop dynamic in which one of you is more forceful and another is warmer and more willing to listen. Make sure the inductee knows there is a safe and nonjudgmental place to come home to. But then, after the physical freedom is secured, comes the emotional work. “It may take up to five years for the person to figure out who they are again,” Lalich says. “Be gentle with them.”

Lori Smith December 24, 2019 at 7:55 am

My son has left a cult. His divorce is almost final. I’ve been meeting with my daughter -in-law since June 2019 trying to bring knowledge of Jesus to get her to leave the cult with my 3 grandchildren. Her step – father is the cult leader. Should I be direct and tell her she’s in a cult?

Jack Wellman December 24, 2019 at 11:30 am

Hello Mrs. Smith. I would speak with her about this for sure. Maybe use some of this article as evidence or print it out and send it to her and tell her you are worried about her soul and then pray, pray, pray since only God can change the heart (Prov 21:1).

Agnez March 25, 2020 at 2:13 pm

My husband is in cult and witchcraft.he has programmed everything and left me to stay in Iraq.their he’s doing all mischief things.pls kindly help

Jack Wellman March 25, 2020 at 3:13 pm

As I wrote, Agnez. Only God can change a person’s heart (Prov 21:1). There is only loving him, praying for him, and seeking God’s divine intervention that He might be born again and only then can he become a new creation in Christ (2 Cor 5:17).Please call your pastor and ask him to pray for him and your church to pray for him as an unspoken needs as we need one another more today than ever (Heb 10:24-25).

K-low November 9, 2020 at 4:21 pm

My 19 year old brother is involved in something very similar to a cult, his mannerisms have changed dramatically, has grown extremely distrustful towards family when it opposes his beliefs (very unlike him), he currently lives 3 miles away helping to take care of his grandparents who are very good Christians/people, this hit us unexpectedly and I personally have worked with troubled teens as a previous career but have never dealt with something like this before at his age. I sincerely need help.

Jack Wellman November 9, 2020 at 7:52 pm

I would talk to your pastor about this as he may have some answers.

Val February 24, 2021 at 2:25 am

My very good friend just committed suicide after leaving a cult that told him he was hopeless and nothing and unworthy of Gods love . That because he didn’t believe what was going on in the group he was going against Gods Spirit . After many months of Counceling and prayer he took his own life. His sister is still at that place and we have been trying to keep in contact but she deleted all social media and changed her number . Please pray for her and for their family that they may receive Peace from the Lord ! Thank you !

Arun July 1, 2021 at 2:56 am

My wife is in grip of cult since last 2&1/2 years and living with family, due to lockdown cult use internet like YouTube and phone to lead her, what can I do, should I leave that place and delete all the relation of wife from cult, this will help

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