10 Biblical Steps Towards Restoration After Sexual Sin

by Crystal McDowell · Print Print · Email Email

It is no secret—Hollywood glamorizes sex. As we watch our favorite characters move from one love interest to the other, it’s easy to forget how sexual sin confuses and complicates our spiritual, emotional, and physical lives.

God’s people are warned to: “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18).

Although the consequences of our sins (unplanned pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, emotional ties, etc.) may still linger, Jesus will forgive and give wisdom for each issue. It’s essential to take the necessary steps towards restoration to avoid being mastered by sexual immorality.

Step #1) Confess your sin to God

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9, NIV).

Resist the urge to make excuses for your sin of sexual immorality. You speak truth to God and yourself as an agreement of your confession and repentance. God will forgive and cleanse you from this sin if you are willing to be made whole.

Step #2) Admit your weakness in this area

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness” (Romans 8:26, NIV).

There is a reason you’re drawn to sexual sin. It could be lust, filling an emotional void, wanting to please other people more than you want to please God, etc. You must seek out the source and deal with it so you can pray and prepare your heart when you’re tempted.

Step #3) Pray for a mentor or accountability partner

“Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace” (2 Corinthians 13:11, NIV).

Pray and ask God for direction in finding someone for godly advice. Make sure it’s someone you can trust, who will speak truth, and lives a righteous life.

Step #4) Get involved in a church

“Not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:25, NIV).

Don’t just show up for a service, but make efforts to get involved. Small group accountability is good. Pray diligently that the Lord direct you to the right church where you can serve and be served in your Christian walk.

Step #5) Keep your mind and body actively engaged in other activities

“Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth” (Proverbs 10:4, NIV).

Keep busy with meaningful projects so that your thoughts won’t consume you. Be involved with not only church activities, but try to engage in your community as a witness for Christ.

Step #6) Guard your heart and thoughts

“Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:4-5, KJV).

Use this scripture as a weapon by countering every impure thought.

Use this scripture as a weapon by countering every impure thought.

Your biggest battle in overcoming sexual immorality will be in the mind. You’ll be tempted to relive sexual experiences and if you do entertain them—it could lead down the path of sin and regret. Use this scripture as a weapon by countering every impure thought.

Step #7) Keep company with people who are living righteously

“Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33,NIV).

Be mindful of who you choose to keep company with. You can’t be an effective Christian alone; you need other believers to hold you up. Remember you aren’t the only one who struggles with this sin.

Step #8) Resist TV shows, movies, video games, or music that lures you back into sinful thinking or lusting from prior experiences

“I made a covenant with my eyes” (Job 31:1, NIV).

No one is going to change the channel for you or turn off the screen—you have to make the hard choice to turn away from seducing scenes. The more time you spend with God in sincere prayer and earnest Bible study, you will find yourself appalled and disgusted at distorted sexual imagery.

Step #9) Stay connected to God everyday in prayer and Bible study

“Pray continually” (1 Thessalonians 5:17, NIV) “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth” (2 Timothy 2:15, KJV).

Have a certain time and place every single day in which you talk to God and read your Bible. Make it a habit for life and you will be richly rewarded by God for He loves you very much.

Step #10) Cut off any ties with the person or persons that you were sexually engaged with.

“But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof” (Romans 13:14, KJV).

Being in the presence or communicating with this person will most likely lull you back into sin—you must sever ties. The choice is choosing a relationship with God over a relationship with this person. You may need to seek their forgiveness, but still keep your distance.

Now what?

You can’t fulfill your destiny in God and stay in sexual sin. Your sin will cause a divided heart and remember James 1:8 “A double minded man is unstable in all his ways”. God cares about you so much that He won’t give you peace about your sexual sins instead He will love you back into the kingdom even if it takes severe discipline. (Hebrews 12:5-6)

You can overcome sexual sin by trusting in God to keep your body. It will take effort on your part, but it will be His loving grace that covers you in love to endure.

Take a look at this other helpful article:

Why Should I Trust God? I Feel Like Giving Up

Resources – New International Version Bible (NIV) THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. The Holy Bible, King James Version. YouTube “You Are More” by Tenth Avenue North

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{ 80 comments… read them below or add one }

Peggy May 5, 2013 at 9:24 am

thankyou Crystal-Your article I read for the first time. I am struggling because I lost a son to death in January and now trying to get rid of the confusion. and find out who I am now.


Crystal McDowell May 5, 2013 at 9:01 pm

Dearest Peggy, I’m so sorry for your loss and pray that our Comforter, the Holy Spirit, will kindly and gently walk you through this time of trial. God is able to strengthen and keep you.

My prayers are with you.



Jerald Edward Paul November 16, 2017 at 3:04 pm

Dear Peggy and others who seek forgiveness and are uncertain of it, here are some words of truth and comfort:

You are forgiven not because your sin is less heinous, but because the Forgiver is more loving! Satan will have you think otherwise making you believe the lie that all is lost and that the atoning blood of Christ can’t save you!!

On the other hand, those of you who think and convince youselves that the LORD forgave you because your sin was a “less-degree” in nature, you will not be able to experience the resultant peace of forgiveness of your sins. For you have tried to assess the degree of your sin and thereby justify yourself, thinking that God would consider you “less-sinful”!

Rather, if you believe that the LORD forgave you because of His love for you, you will experience great and true peace that results from your receiving forgiveness as well as, and especially from your attitude of gratitude unto the LORD!

Being uncertain of forgiveness of our sins, is like being uncertain of His love for us! It is actually not loving Him! It is not the sins the Prodigal son committed, however heinous they are, that could stop the forgiveness of his Father, but it is the otherwise tendency and attitude, the son could have had as to not to return unto his Father, not to trust in His love, not to love Him; yeah; even this could have stopped the forgiveness! But, the Prodigal returned, trusting in his Father, in His love, and also in his love for Him; it is this that made the forgiveness possible and full! You can be a prodigal! But do not believe the lie Satan puts into you making you think less of the forgivess of God, less of His love, and thus lessening your own love for Him, and losing hopes that He can forgive you! Satan knows sin cannot stop God’s love for you! But he knows you can stop His love by stopping to love Him, and by stopping to trust in Him, and by stopping to return unto Him, and by stopping to trusting He will forgive you! It’s ‘only’ this and not necessarily the ‘sins’ you committed that seprates you from your God! Satan and his devils know that God does not love them! They also know that God loves you! Therefore, they hate God, and do not want those who embraced sin (embracing sin is like hating God) to never return to the love they once had and now lost for their God! Satan deceives them by luring them into sins and engaging them thereat without giving them the thought to return to an all-forgiving God! Rise! Cast off your rags! Break free from the bondage of your adversary who used sin as a tool to separate you from your Father! Run to your God! He is awaiting, having waited for you long if you would come back! You know what! The Father, seeing you far off, will run towards you! Who can take you back from that grasp and embrace of your Father any more? You are His! And forever! Do not even look at or even think of the temptuous tools that Satan once used to lure you! Look back no more! Onward and forward, following His beloved Son, even Lord Jesus Christ who took upon Himself the very tool that Satan used to cause you to stumble and fall, even sin. This the Savior did by freely shedding His blood for us, giving His life! Come Home! The Prodigal came back and was accepted! If you come back, you will be accepted! Come Home!

“Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.” – Isaiah 1:18. These words are true!

Your friend and one who also experienced the true love of God, having returned back to Him from his way away and far from Him!
Jerald Paul


Marian February 25, 2019 at 8:43 pm

I have sin the sin against my body. Please pray for me. I don’t want to go back to it. Please pray for me


Scott willow May 5, 2013 at 1:36 pm

Where’s the article on sex and married people who don’t come together as one much.would that that be a women sinning when she’s holding out sex in marriage


Crystal McDowell May 5, 2013 at 9:10 pm

Dear Scott,
Thank you for your comment. I’m reminded of James 4:17 that it is sin for us to know the right thing to do and not do it. Therefore a man must love his wife as Christ loves the church and gave Himself up for her. As well the wife must submit to her husband as she does to her Lord. Marriage is a wonderfully complicated but beautiful experience with believing couples who are both graciously submitted to God in their relationship. I would most highly recommend the book “Every Woman’s Desires” by Steve Arterburn and Fred Stoeker. This book gives incredible insight into how a man can become one with his wife in all areas including sex. May the Lord grant you the wisdom, grace, and kindness to deal with this issue wrapped in the unconditional love of our Savior Jesus Christ.


Jack Wellman May 5, 2013 at 8:55 pm

These are all sterling recommendations Crystal. Truly, these are what a Spirit-led believer should do and I do thank God that God is using you mightily my friend, here on this site and on your site.


Crystal McDowell May 5, 2013 at 9:12 pm

Thanks Jack. Your comments make me smile because the Lord has graciously allowed me to write with godly men and women on this site. God bless you and your family! Amen.

Love in Christ,


Johanna May 5, 2013 at 10:19 pm

Happy to read this wise article, but I’m very happy my husband remembered the word about marrying a woman that
he didn’t resist. I’m now the Lords servant and we have a wonderful marriage and nine children.


Johanna May 5, 2013 at 10:23 pm

Salty article but I’m very happy my husband remembered the word about marrying a woman that
he didn’t resist. I’m now the Lords servant and we have a wonderful marriage with nine children.


Crystal McDowell May 12, 2013 at 5:37 pm

God bless you Johanna. May the Lord continue to strengthen your marriage with His grace.



Johanna May 5, 2013 at 10:26 pm

Sorry I duplicated. Did’nt see first one posted .


Nkem May 11, 2013 at 5:25 am

God bless you richly for this article…been struggling. With sexual sin lately and I feel really guilty about it but I still find myself doing thesame thing..I was looking for how to re-trace my steps to God when I stumbled on this..I now know for sure that God loves me and and has given me the strength via The Holy Spirit and the word of God to say no to every kind of temptation cos he won’t give us more than we can bear.

May you continue to shine and never be a castaway.


Crystal McDowell May 12, 2013 at 5:38 pm

Nkem…stay close to Lord. Keep the faith. God bless!



Josephat Nawade May 11, 2013 at 7:26 am

I support your article fully..As a youth leader,you are the right society to keep me updated..Thank you very much and God mus bless you 4 your work..MY TODAYS QUESTION…”Youths & Ponography”..Advise please! thank you in advance!


Crystal McDowell May 12, 2013 at 5:47 pm

Dear Josephat,

Thank you for serving God’s people with the youth. I need you to elaborate on your question because the article can be related to pornography as well. Stay close to the Lord and continue to serve Him for the kingdom!
God bless,


Mc May 12, 2013 at 4:46 pm

Truely you are God sent. I have tried mybest to abstend from sexual but fell recently and immediately hated myself for allowing myself give in to this sin. But with these steps outlined I know I can overcome them all. God bless u


Lisa Miller-Rich May 12, 2013 at 6:04 pm

Hi Crystal,

Thank you, sister, for this article. This week, as her pastor, I need to meet with a young lady to talk through this area of her life –and how it affects her ability to remain a leader in ministry. Your article outlines every action step in which I had prayerfully decided to lead her. I’m going to print it and have it as a reference. Thank you for the streamlined presentation of a subject that is so sensitive to navigate. When truth is spoken in love, the Holy Spirit alone will guide the outcomes. But loving support of a person without truth opens wide the gate for their continuation in sin–with devastating outcomes. I take no joy in the prospect of this conversation — but I love her enough to tell her the truth and walk with her as she takes time to restore and heal.

Bless you!


Wycliffe Ihili May 13, 2013 at 4:22 am

I agree with you. These will help any person from falling back into sin. keep up the good work.


Crystal McDowell June 11, 2013 at 9:56 pm

Thank you so much Wycliffe. Keep fighting the good fight of faith. God bless, Crystal


Nkwanzi Daphine May 14, 2013 at 2:12 am

I so love this article teaches me to fully submit to God. It is better to be in a relationship with God.


Crystal McDowell June 11, 2013 at 9:58 pm

Dear Nkwanzi, you are so right…it is better to be in an intimate relationship with God so we can be strengthened to walk righteously.
Thank you,


Mike June 10, 2013 at 9:57 pm

I’ve allowed this sin to control me too long, I even doubt my salvation.


Crystal McDowell June 11, 2013 at 10:04 pm

Dear Mike, please don’t ever give up the good fight! Sometimes the battle is so difficult because our enemy knows that he is losing the war. I suggest that you repent of your sin and ask the Lord to restore you using Psalm 51 as a guide. Finally, it would be good to ask the Lord to do whatever it takes so that you can live in freedom, purity, and unconditional love. It will be difficult at times but nothing is impossible with God. I pray for you, my brother, to be released from this stronghold so that you can be useful to our Master in building the kingdom of Christ. Your sister in Christ, Crystal


diane June 14, 2013 at 9:05 pm

thank you for this article. I really really needed this as I recently fell into sexual sin with my boyfriend. it happened a couple times but after the laat time we promised each other that it wouldn’t happen again. I prayed for forgiveness and I believe that God has cleansed me from unrighteousness. We are still dating but we are no longer putting ourselves in situations where we will be alone or our integrity will be compromised further. With much prayer God is keeping us pure and I am looking forward to the day when I will be his wife!


Crystal McDowell June 15, 2013 at 3:06 pm

Dear Diane,

My heart goes out to you and I pray that you and your boyfriend will find a godly couple to hold you accountable to be sexually pure. Sometimes couples with the best of intentions fall short if they haven’t put themselves under a couple who will help them on the right path.

God bless,


diane June 16, 2013 at 4:47 am

thank you for your Godly wisdom and that is exactly what we will do.


Kris June 16, 2013 at 3:21 am

It seems what I have shared with you here was considered too much , too long or not appropriate. I had hoped that what I had to say would be useful to someone ….I appreciate your making these articles available to help the reader….Keep up the great work!


Crystal McDowell June 17, 2013 at 12:53 pm

Dear Kris,

I read your entire comment this weekend. I want you to know how very sorry I am that you’ve had to suffer so terribly. It underscores the need for believers to walk in purity. I pray for you that God uses your testimony of strength and faith to encourage other couples to walk righteously before God and others. Stay strong in the faith and don’t give up on your Heavenly Father’s ability to bring restoration to your heart, soul, and mind. God bless you!

Love in Christ,


Kris June 17, 2013 at 6:06 pm

Thank you Cystal

Many unfortunately are dealing with this ….the sexualization of our society and the lack of knowledge on the part of people understanding how they need to protect their eyes and minds by way of the whole armour of God is bringing many into such challenging experiences.

I know what the Bible says about the carnal minded and natural man but the deliberate and cold hearted choices of women ..especially when it comes to how their choices effect not only the children of the families the weak minded men they ‘enjoy’ so much at the expense of the family still seems so shocking

In this case the woman demanded children from my husband almost like a way of extortion since she had wormed her way into so many of his ‘compartment’s ‘ of his life that put everything and everyone at risk. It seems to have been a form of blackmail

She did not really want to care for the children she simply saw them as a way to keep a ‘leash’ on my husband

I was shocking even moreso since he is very capable and successful man in his field. So it is that PRIDE does come before the fall …..and he said he just felt ‘invincible’ ….no doubt.

So did King David, Solomon, and Samson to name a few men of many talents who fell due to ignoring the warnings of GOD about such snares!

OH ….children READ and retain Proverbs …..so needed today!

Thank you again for your reply …it was good to know I was not ignored …I realize you have many many facets of your responsibilities and your own husband and children must be first after GOD …That is a blessing we are all going to be glad for putting first!

His first,



Daisy June 16, 2015 at 6:18 pm

Dear Crystal McDowell, I would kindly like to ask you to pray for a loved one of mine, Harry, to be saved from this sin (and others, of course! but most importantly this one). Please pray that our God SAVES him from sin, from evil and wicked people (“Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33,NIV) and for Harry to not be conformed to this world anymore, but to be transformed by the renewing of his mind and to have abhorrence of what is evil please in Jesus’ name. Amen


Jesse July 2, 2015 at 1:53 pm

Dear Crystal, I am a man who was dating a younger woman for 3 years we were supposed to marry but somehow never did, we were going to break it off but she ended up pregnant and we stayed together. However things just got worse I think we both tried but we didnt try the right way by making God first, we were both selfish and disobedient. I blame myself mostly cause I am older and know that The Lord was not happy with our situation. I know He tried to warn us as I look back but now it seems to late. She got mad and left, I admit to you I was very mean and nasty and blinded by sin, that has changed now Thanks To The Lord, our daughter is 6 months old now and her mother is surrounding herself with the wrong environment. I could expound but The Lord knows. I try to talk to her rightly but I always get a prick in my spirit and I am not sure if its The Lord dealing with me or not, cause after she left I hit my face like Joshua and have been asking the Lord to tell me what He wants me to do ever since. I am afraid for my daughter and afraid for myself not being right with The Lord. Please pray for me and if you can do you and your husband have any words of wisdom? Please be blunt or whatever The Lord may lay upon your heart to tell me. Sincerly J


Crystal July 3, 2015 at 7:15 pm

Dear Jesse,

I’m sorry that you have to go through this painful period. Many times when we choose the pleasure of sin, we almost always never comprehend the terrible consequences that will follow. However, let me give you hope–there are no consequences greater than the power and grace of God to get you through it. I would encourage you brother to do everything you can to get closer to God–establish a regular prayer and Bible study time, connect with Christian brothers who will hold you accountable, and serve at a local ministry. Doing these things won’t necessarily take away the consequences of sin, but they most certainly will deaden the sting of sin as God will heal your heart and deliver you from the bondages of sexual sin. You will be alright. Your daughter will be alright. As the Lord is faithful to hear and answer your prayers according to His will. Take strength and courage in Christ to move forward every day in faith. I will be praying for you. God bless,


Jessica September 4, 2015 at 1:17 am

I feel so much guilt and shame about my sexual sin lately. It’s been going on for so long and I just want to stop it. I regret it so much. I’ve been so depressed that it has been difficult to go about my day normally. I just want to be forgiven and go back to God. I’ve ignored him for so long… I feel so horrible. I’m determined to stop.


Nicki Morero January 11, 2016 at 6:07 am

Thank You God for using Your servant to communicate to my current situation. .. To God be all the glory.


Prinsesa March 1, 2016 at 5:00 pm

Thanks God for this one. I’m really struggling with guilt and depression for quite some time now. I’m still on the process of getting myself fix. I know God wants was best for me and its such a shame that I failed Him. But I’m looking forward to rising up from this mess and getting myself back. I pray I could really find someone to talk to about this. Anyway, thanks again for sharing. It really means a lot. God Bless you more!


Damah August 29, 2016 at 3:13 am

God is faithful to Save, by the power of his GRACE..

Psalms 103;8-12 ” The lord is compassionate and gracious,slow to anger,abounding in love;He will not always accuse, nor harbor his anger forever,and he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our inequities;For as high as the heavens are above the earth,so great is his love for those who fear him;As far as the east is from the west,so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”
this article has blessed me.thanks Crystal


ana September 21, 2016 at 6:29 am

I loved the article about sexual sin, but i´m still confused whether I trully have to leave a person I love so much, is there no way that God can restore the both of us? And that we can still have a future together even after committing a sexual sin?


Jack Wellman September 21, 2016 at 9:18 am

The Bible is clear Ana that anyone who is having sex outside of marriage is committing sexual immorality and all the sexually immoral people who refuse to repent are headed to the lake of fire (Rev 21:8). You must crucify your flesh and love Christ above all things in this world, or as Jesus said, you are not worthy to be His disciples. A warning comes straight from Jesus’ mouth in Matt 7:21-23 where He says, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.”


Samantha December 8, 2016 at 8:53 pm

Thank you for writing this article. I have struggled with sexual sin for many years. I always seek to please others and try to fill my loneliness while being single. I’ve doubted my salvation because I keep asking for forgiveness and I stop doing bad things for awhile and then I find myself getting involved with sexual sin again. I’m very broken right now and this season of singleness is very hard for me. So I’m so blessed to have come across your article. It’s helping me a lot.


Collin January 11, 2017 at 11:39 am

Can y’all keep me in prayer, I had hpv I didn’t know about and gave it to my wife. For a yr before I met my wife I struggled with prostitution because it’s online and so available I feel like the lowest creature right now. Thanks god bless Collin


Jack Wellman January 11, 2017 at 11:45 am

I am praying for you sir. Collin, perhaps this can help you sir. We have an article written specifically about this stronghold, so please check this out and we pray it helps you sir, but ultimately, it is God Who fights our battles for us. Here is the article sir called, How To Overcome an Addiction to Pornography at: http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/how-to-overcome-an-addiction-to-pornography-help-for-struggling-christians/


David January 21, 2017 at 9:59 am

This is a very nice article. But I strongly disagree with number 10 in courtship relationships, just because they slip into sexual sin, this shouldn’t mean they have to breakup. Mistakes do happen, and no one is righteous in the sight of God but we have grace through Christ. I agree the person have to concentrate more on a relationship with God. Steps can also be taken to ensure such sin doesn’t take place anymore by seeking spiritual counsel from elders, avoiding compromising situations or even deciding to get married, as the apostle Paul has advised. It shouldn’t be an end to an amazing courtship the person might have built over the years, as many people have been advised wrongly this way. Thank you.


TV May 6, 2017 at 7:45 am

I am greatful to have read this article. I am in a current situation where i was confused. I was once a sex addict and in the process of my immorality hurt my other half a great deal. I went through the following steps you wrote about in your article to kick this addiction AND WAS SUCCESSFUL! I am currently living the Christian life (or trying to be more like Christ).

Currently (this past year) i have found out some things about my other half (adultery). Now i find myself in the same hurt and pain that i put him through. Weve both have asked each other for forgiveness, but it seems to feel as if it is too late and we have lost eachother. I dont feel he is Willing to turn to the steps i have taken to save out relationship. I feel he is spiteful for all the things i have done .

But in the mist of it all, i am still greatfull for God forgiving me and taking away my temptation. For that i am a better person. Ans i will continue to pray for my other half for happyness. Even if it is not with me.


Dustin September 19, 2017 at 2:49 pm

This is something I have been dealing with, I will be okay for a little while and I am not near where I was but I still can’t seem to overcome it fully. What am I missing that this sinful nature will no simply leave me. I do not feel close to God at times for this and my prayer is that he will remove it all. Maybe it is a action of disbelief and not trusting God fully. I know that I am not where I was but I am also where I need to be.


Philemon Opolot January 3, 2018 at 7:17 am

I was able to overcome sexual sin by the grace of God.I have made available resources to help anyone struggling.


Jorita April 9, 2018 at 10:34 pm

My boyfriend and I recently cuddled..to me it was my way of having a good time but at the end of it all he told me how guilty he felt after the whole cuddling. We didn’t kiss..we cuddled. The bad thing is that I don’t feel guilty yet my boyfriend is. Please advise.


pato October 16, 2018 at 8:35 am

I have always abstained from sexual immorality but i always find myself doing it amidst being a teenage and children’s pastor. every time i do it i feel self accusations and guilty. some times i may prevent it for 2,4 6 or 11 months but i end up playing sex with girls. a times i feel so ashamed before God to an extent that i feel like quieting salvation. what should i do. i used to masturbate in my teenage and early youthful ages but i overcame that now i just engage in sexual immorality with girls who not born again in our neighborhoods. what should
i do?


Jack Wellman October 16, 2018 at 1:30 pm

Pato. You need to read this article and do what it says https://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/how-to-overcome-an-addiction-to-pornography-help-for-struggling-christians/ and follow thru. You need an accountabiity partner and more in what the links says you need my friend. Know this, that no one who practices such things will inherit the kingdom of God (Gal 6).


Someone October 18, 2018 at 3:58 am

Thanks for the Article.
A few days ago, I have committed a Sexual sin. in my Early 40, I was like “I want to experience it once” and in Berlin, I have attended a Lapdance bar and bought a private dance.
Before I read this article I was really struggling with the mental consequences of the experience and felt unclean.
Now I am just praying for forgiveness and asked my church for more help.


Rsk J. October 19, 2018 at 3:53 am

Please i am a part-time Pastor and i have a secretary in my place of work.
Close to 2years ago her husband left her and follow another woman away.
She was left all alone and facing all the responsibility, pains, tears , fears, sickness , loneliness etc all alone.
Out of sympathy, i moved closer to her both in prayers, councelling, financial assistance, etc.
I tried to keep distance but i fell into fornication with her unconsciously. Now I’m in a serious guilty conscience and highly selfish condemnation. We are still going to work together for another five to six years in that office. Though we’ve came together in prayer of forgiveness to God and make pledge to God and to each other that such will not happen again. But the fear of my sin has already consumed me, even as a Pastor who supposed to guild others. Please i need an assistant.


Jack Wellman October 19, 2018 at 9:46 am

Fellow pastor, I would ask this woman to leave for both of your sakes. Jesus said if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out…meaning take drastic measures. You must stop this now and tell your secretary why. You could wreck your own marriage, the church, and lose your calling. In fact, God will not bless you or your church if you continue as is. How can you preach about sin when you are committing sexual immorality and being joined together with a prostititue (as the Bible says, 1 Cor 6). Please ask her to leave and tell her why. This must stop today. Makng a pledge is fine, but the Bible never teaches that and you are still leaving this tempting situation before you.


Mide October 26, 2018 at 10:03 pm

Please I don’t know how to flee fornication and it’s destroying my destiny. I have a girlfriend and I’ve asked God what he’s will about her is in my life but I’m not seeming to get an answer. I also don’t want to cause problems because she’ll be like I decided to break up after she’s given me sex. Please I’m this thing is eating my life up. I’ve also been forewarned to be careful with ladies. Please my life is at a verge of destroying.


Jack Wellman October 27, 2018 at 10:42 am

My friend, I am praying for you. Please read this and do what it says for those battling an addiction to pornography, so read this, call your pastor and do whatever it takes: https://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/how-to-overcome-an-addiction-to-pornography-help-for-struggling-christians/


Michael December 8, 2018 at 4:46 pm

This is so brilliant and useful to all of us Christians ,may the good Lord continue blessing you with such articles that will benefit many.


Micheal December 8, 2018 at 5:15 pm

Hi, thanks for the article .Born again but still battling some sexual sins like watching porn and masturbation. Sometimes I stop it for weeks but still get tempted back.
Will follow the 10 steps and try to amend my ways.


Nana January 12, 2019 at 7:14 am

I feel like ending it all because of my past sexual sin


Jack Wellman January 12, 2019 at 10:42 am

Don’t yuo believe God forgives our sins if we confess them (1 John1 :9)? Please repent of this and talk to your pastor over this suicide thought. If you are not sure you’re saved and committ suicide, you are in hell forever, so please think about this because God forgives our sins, but appsarently, you don’t believe Him.


Nelson Treasure February 9, 2019 at 9:40 am

Thank you very much Ma. May God increase you and give us all the grace to run and win.


Wenona M Kelley June 6, 2019 at 9:58 am

This was such a hidden secret weapon…I have been walking with and discipling a few young ladies for about 3 months in this area and out of a sexual fall, and just ran into a roadblock looking for a new strategy. Thank you SOOOOOO much for this Godly wisdom and wise counsel..I submit it is a teaching that is extremely relevant to The Kingdom in this season!
God BLESS you.
God is.


Jack Wellman June 6, 2019 at 10:20 am

Love that you are mentoring these women…and what a wise, godly woman you must be….so glad you care this much. Praying for your labor of love.


Austin June 24, 2019 at 7:13 am

Thank you so much crystal for the article. I have been struggling with masturbation for a long time. Whenever I see a lady I crave for her then I end up masturbating. But now I have learned and my obedience will be to Jesus Christ only. God bless you


Emmanuel Aryee August 16, 2019 at 11:37 am

I really thank you and appreciate your piece. It has been of help to me and am going to use it to guard myself against sexual sin. I know and pray that the Almighty God will help me to do this because by my own strength I won’t succeed. God richly bless you Madam Crystal McDowell


peggy karis August 20, 2019 at 6:20 pm

Thanks for the article. I am born again but I recently fell into this sin of which I felt guilty and wondered what to do. I have really failed God and my husband a big time. By God’s grace I’ll go about the steps but my question is, should I confess it to my husband? I fear he might even leave me or separate Please I’m in need of prayer…..Am really regreting and stressed. … Help me servants of God…
God bless yoj mightly.
P. Karis.


Jack Wellman August 20, 2019 at 6:32 pm

Praying for you now, my sister Peggy.


favour September 20, 2019 at 11:54 am

thank you so much I don’t know how to express my gratitude. this has been a blessing to me. I pray that God gives me the grace to adhere to it.


Dy September 24, 2019 at 10:26 pm

I’m a Christian and was simply an advice to this guy who falls into sexual sin. After some months, we ended up dating and we fell into sexual sin, it has been going on for sometime now and I’ve asked for us to end things but he pleads with me saying we could get help without breaking up or else I’ll leave him shattered cos he loves me so much. I know he does. Please what should I do


Jack Wellman September 25, 2019 at 1:27 am

Hello Dy. No true believe in Christ will continue to sin. Love is not proved by sex. Your “guy” is not acting like a believer. No one who practices such things will inherit the kingdom of God (several Scriputres say this same thing…like 1 Cor 6, Gal 5). If this guy leaves you becuase you refuse sex, he is not in love with you but using you and is getting his lust fulfilled thru you. Having sex with an unmarried woman or a married person would be the LAST thing any true Christian would do. The BIble says those who “practice such things’ are cast into the lake of fire…to “practice such things” means it’s ongoing and continual. No one can have the assurance they’ll escape hell fire. Please, please leave this man. He is a user and only says “he” be shattered.” NO one with the SPirit of God would be shattered but would be striving to live a holy life and in yoiu, I see the HOly Spirit convicting yoiu of this sin. I don’t see that in him…What should you do? Stop it now. Cut off this relationship. If Christ were to come back today or tonight, this man would be judged worthy of hell. Please don’t let him lie to you or use you and bring you with him into the lake of fire. That’s what you should do. If you love him, then your love for CHrist is less. JEsus said whoever doesn’t love HIm more than father and mother and brother, (meaning anyone!),they are not worthy to be HIs discple. You must love him more than Christ and I fear you are not going to be saved. He is using you…lying to you about being shattered. The BIble says it is better to marry than to burn. I am praying now. Run, don’t walk, but run now….today…call your pastor…find an accountablity partner (a godly Christian woman) to be one. Does this guy go to church? Study his Bible with you? Pray with you? If not, he is not saved and Satan is using him to try to bring you into hell. Please repent of this today before it istoo late. Her does not love you…but “lusts you”. No one who truly loves will cause a person to sin (so the Bible teaches). Read Matt 7:21-23 and be warned before it is too late. He is likely sleeping around and may carry aids or other sexually transmitted diseases or you could become pregnant. https://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/how-to-overcome-an-addiction-to-pornography-help-for-struggling-christians/


Betty Namutebi September 29, 2019 at 5:46 pm

Thanks a lot, this has really helped me. God bless you


Jack Wellman September 29, 2019 at 5:46 pm

Thank you Betty.


Betty September 29, 2019 at 6:14 pm

Dear McDowell I need your advise, I got a guy and he pleaded that he loved me and there came a time when I went into a sexual sin with him. I asked him if he was married he was like no but I that night after sex I had a dream when I had gone back to his home and found a lady carrying a child crying as she was telling him that she was leaving. Seeing, there was an other woman inside then I got to know that she caught him with an other woman
But as I was coming, the guy saw me and left all them chessing after me and I was telling him that he lied to me when he told me that he wasn’t married but he was like let me explain.I failed to understand what God was showing me in that dream.
Again I asked God to finally show me the truth about this man, I still had a dream when I was piping in his house where I saw lady’s shoes. I still failed to understand. Please help me if you can thank you so much dear.
God bless you


Victor Zimba October 13, 2019 at 7:15 pm

I need spiritual help.


Jack Wellman October 13, 2019 at 7:44 pm

Hello Mr. Zimba. Please call your pastor my friend. THat’s the 1st step. Christianity is never done in isolation. Praying for you Mr. Zimba. God restored David…He can restore you too.


Omotola March 13, 2020 at 7:36 am

Dear MC Dowell, I fell in love with a guy and got pregnant for him and also married him,I was told to do restitution according to Genesis 20.How would I do it ,have confessed my sin to God. should I divorce my husband?


Jack Wellman March 13, 2020 at 12:55 pm

Hello Omotola. I would not get a divorce if you are already married. God is a forgiving God and you are not required to divorce him and more so, since you are already married. Gen 20 is not comprable to what Jesus taught on divorce, so Gen 20 is not a guide for you today. Thank you and I hope I have helped you.


Lee Surridge April 11, 2020 at 8:23 am

Hello, thank you, this is a wonderful article. Some great biblical advice. I must ask though, and this is an honest question; on step #7 it advises to keep company with righteous people. But if I, being unclean because of sexual sin, try to form friendships with righteous people, are those righteous people not advised to not to have fellowship with the unclean?

The reason why I ask is because I really, really need friends, I am so lonely, and although I’d love to have good Godly friendships, I have been worried that I cannot have friends until I am fully restored. Is this the case? Or could I trust that God can send me friends that will help me in faith?


Jack Wellman April 11, 2020 at 10:17 am

I would contact your pastor at church. There are other single Christians in your area. If you stay by yourself, nothing much will likely change, but ask the saints of God to pray for you as unspoken needs, and we need one another so much these days (Heb 10:24-25). You can have friends now…none of us are “fully restored” and we all still sin, but we sin less over time.


Fidel April 23, 2020 at 8:48 pm

Am so lucky to read this,
It inspired me a lot.
Though I need serious deliverance from sexual sin … Help me in prayers


Jack Wellman April 23, 2020 at 9:13 pm

Hello Fidel. I will pray for you my friend. Please call your pastor and ask for your church to pray for “unspoken needs” as we need one another so much these days (Heb 10:24-25).


Pauline May 4, 2020 at 1:32 am

Thank you! Your article is helpful God bless you and enlarge you!


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