10 Biblical Steps Towards Restoration After Sexual Sin

by Crystal McDowell · Print Print · Email Email

It is no secret—Hollywood glamorizes sex. As we watch our favorite characters move from one love interest to the other, it’s easy to forget how sexual sin confuses and complicates our spiritual, emotional, and physical lives.

God’s people are warned to: “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18).

Although the consequences of our sins (unplanned pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, emotional ties, etc.) may still linger, Jesus will forgive and give wisdom for each issue. It’s essential to take the necessary steps towards restoration to avoid being mastered by sexual immorality.

Step #1) Confess your sin to God

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9, NIV).

Resist the urge to make excuses for your sin of sexual immorality. You speak truth to God and yourself as an agreement of your confession and repentance. God will forgive and cleanse you from this sin if you are willing to be made whole.

Step #2) Admit your weakness in this area

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness” (Romans 8:26, NIV).

There is a reason you’re drawn to sexual sin. It could be lust, filling an emotional void, wanting to please other people more than you want to please God, etc. You must seek out the source and deal with it so you can pray and prepare your heart when you’re tempted.

Step #3) Pray for a mentor or accountability partner

“Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace” (2 Corinthians 13:11, NIV).

Pray and ask God for direction in finding someone for godly advice. Make sure it’s someone you can trust, who will speak truth, and lives a righteous life.

Step #4) Get involved in a church

“Not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:25, NIV).

Don’t just show up for a service, but make efforts to get involved. Small group accountability is good. Pray diligently that the Lord direct you to the right church where you can serve and be served in your Christian walk.

Step #5) Keep your mind and body actively engaged in other activities

“Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth” (Proverbs 10:4, NIV).

Keep busy with meaningful projects so that your thoughts won’t consume you. Be involved with not only church activities, but try to engage in your community as a witness for Christ.

Step #6) Guard your heart and thoughts

“Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:4-5, KJV).

Use this scripture as a weapon by countering every impure thought.

Use this scripture as a weapon by countering every impure thought.

Your biggest battle in overcoming sexual immorality will be in the mind. You’ll be tempted to relive sexual experiences and if you do entertain them—it could lead down the path of sin and regret. Use this scripture as a weapon by countering every impure thought.

Step #7) Keep company with people who are living righteously

“Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33,NIV).

Be mindful of who you choose to keep company with. You can’t be an effective Christian alone; you need other believers to hold you up. Remember you aren’t the only one who struggles with this sin.

Step #8) Resist TV shows, movies, video games, or music that lures you back into sinful thinking or lusting from prior experiences

“I made a covenant with my eyes” (Job 31:1, NIV).

No one is going to change the channel for you or turn off the screen—you have to make the hard choice to turn away from seducing scenes. The more time you spend with God in sincere prayer and earnest Bible study, you will find yourself appalled and disgusted at distorted sexual imagery.

Step #9) Stay connected to God everyday in prayer and Bible study

“Pray continually” (1 Thessalonians 5:17, NIV) “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth” (2 Timothy 2:15, KJV).

Have a certain time and place every single day in which you talk to God and read your Bible. Make it a habit for life and you will be richly rewarded by God for He loves you very much.

Step #10) Cut off any ties with the person or persons that you were sexually engaged with.

“But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof” (Romans 13:14, KJV).

Being in the presence or communicating with this person will most likely lull you back into sin—you must sever ties. The choice is choosing a relationship with God over a relationship with this person. You may need to seek their forgiveness, but still keep your distance.

Now what?

You can’t fulfill your destiny in God and stay in sexual sin. Your sin will cause a divided heart and remember James 1:8 “A double minded man is unstable in all his ways”. God cares about you so much that He won’t give you peace about your sexual sins instead He will love you back into the kingdom even if it takes severe discipline. (Hebrews 12:5-6)

You can overcome sexual sin by trusting in God to keep your body. It will take effort on your part, but it will be His loving grace that covers you in love to endure.

Take a look at this other helpful article:

Why Should I Trust God? I Feel Like Giving Up

Resources – New International Version Bible (NIV) THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. The Holy Bible, King James Version. YouTube “You Are More” by Tenth Avenue North

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{ 55 comments… read them below or add one }

Amaka June 24, 2020 at 5:42 am

After one has repented from sexual sin, What are the right words to use to apologise to a past female sex partner and to make her understand that you are a repented soul now, also to encourage her to repent too


Jack Wellman June 24, 2020 at 8:56 am

I think just be honest and tell them you are so sorry and repented of this because it was sin and sorry for using that person…


Ifeoma June 29, 2020 at 5:42 am

Good morning . My partner and I have been fight lust for some months now and in the beginning of the relationship we handed it over to God and told him to guide us through this journey. Our relationship is 2 years and some months . Few days ago we got carried away and we had sex online( it’s a long distance relationship but we are both virgins hoping to get married). On Sunday I got a revelation from God that I need to run away from sin and choose God over and human or human desire . Luckily for me my partner got the same revelation and we are filled with regrets so I came to this platform to help teach us how to avoid sin and become closer to God and after learning I will encourage my partner to do same because he is will to do anything to make sure God is not angry with us . In the guide the last step said we should cut of from our sexual partner , I am thinking it through do you suggest that we break up?


Jack Wellman June 30, 2020 at 11:35 am

Dear Ifeoma,

As someone who has struggled with lust, I want you to know that you are not alone. (Romans 3:23) Also, you need to know that God loves you and is not seeking to condemn you. (Romans 8:1) He wants you and your partner to walk in the freedom of the Spirit–this is why He sent Jesus to die on the cross–so we don’t have to live in the pits of lustful desires. (John 8:36) Every step in the process above will assist you if you want to be free–including the last step.

What is it you really want? You want to be married one day to the one who loves you unconditionally as Christ? Then you want what God wants–to present yourself as holy, pure, and godly to the one God wants for you (who is also living a holy, pure and godly life). I pray this prayer often: “God, I only want what You want for me.” God changes us from the inside out when it comes to lust. We make the step of obedience to His word and He enables us through the Holy Spirit to overcome our weaknesses. (Galatians 5:16)
I wish I could tell you it’s easy–it’s not–it’s a daily process of submitting to the Spirit and denying the flesh. (Matthew 26:41) However, if you do this–you will find yourself truly free and whole to be the person God is calling you to be for His purposes. This is most and more fulfilling than anything else you could desire.

God bless…Crystal


Chinwe July 21, 2020 at 1:34 am

Good morning sir sir, what do I do I met this guy in singles group organized by my church, we got dating and he was serious about settling down with me, but along the line we got carried away and sinned against God, we funicated…… What we do to restory relationship with God, as this is the second time it is happening in this relationship


Jack Wellman July 21, 2020 at 9:08 am

I would avoid being alone with this guy for now until you can date in public or with another couple. Please speak to your pastor or a godly woman in your church. This is sin, as you know. I would speak with this guy too that you cannot continue fornicating until you are married. If he shows no interest in marriage, avoid this man.


Lisha October 7, 2020 at 11:42 pm

I have been in a sinful relationship for over a year. I’ve made the decision to never look back recently. I also have been having alot of health problems and I feel so lost. I honestly would love to go back in time and do things differently, but I can’t. I know that I have disappointed God but I need Him and feel like He may not take me back.
I’m struggling so much with ending things with that person as well. I still think of him, it’s very irrational and I dislike it so much. Please pray for me. I am facing physical as well as spiritual despair. Will God ever forgive me and allow His favor to be upon me?


Jack Wellman October 8, 2020 at 10:02 am

I will pray for you but Lisha, call your pastor and speak with him. We need one another and especially in your case (Heb 10:24-25). Will God forgive you? Of course. If you have been born again and repented of your sins, yes.


Crystal McDowell October 17, 2020 at 9:01 am

Dearest Lisha…many of us believers have been where you are–the struggle of pulling out of a sinful relationship. God completely forgives and loves you. You have a everything you need in our Lord Jesus Christ. I’d encourage you to pray for a godly woman mentor to walk you through the difficult days. Also, hold your head up high…there is now therefore no condemnation to those in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1) and if you confess your sins, God is faithful to forgive you and cleanse you of all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). You are most certainly beloved of God–never ever ever forget this–nothing can separate you from the love of Your Heavenly Father sis (Romans 8:38-39). Hang tough…God’s got you. Plus I pray for your physical healing as well.


Jack November 5, 2020 at 8:50 am

I don’t believe this article is. 100% correct. It doesn’t need to be considered a sin just because you are not married. The Bible says (numerous times) that love is above all sins. If you stop loving someone and/or walk away (if you really love someone) because you are committing a sin, you really have missed the whole point of the Bible. Jesus said: Love your lord and love other humans. It’s repeated a hundred times in the script: LOVE DEFEATS ALL SIN! Please remove this hideous article and stop misleading people!


Jack Wellman November 5, 2020 at 9:16 am

No Jack. Love does not take away sins or excuse sins because those who practice such things (like sexual immorality, which is any sex with anyone outside of marriage, as per the Word of God in: 1 Cor 6:9; Gal 5:21; Rom 1:32, etc. ) will not be in the kingdom. Any sex outside of marriage between a man and a woman is sin according to the Bible and those who practice such things will not inherit the Kingdom of God. That’s not my opinion, but the truth from Scripture. Please do not mislead people with this heresy as you are leading people into error and hell fire and you are responsible for that. Repent of your heresy today sir.


James December 27, 2020 at 6:53 pm

I’m currently living with my fiancé. We lived together while dating, then got engaged. We’ve sinned sexually several times over the last 6 years of our relationship. I want to marry her, but don’t want to live in sin or anger the LORD. What should we do?


Jack Wellman December 27, 2020 at 7:31 pm

I would marry now and not wait. To not marry and continue to live in sin like this will bring God’s judgment in this world and the world to come. Please do this now and move out right away so you stop living together as God will not bless this relationship as it is now. Please call your pastor and schedule an appointment with him.


Emmanuel January 4, 2021 at 2:45 am

I read the article, comments and replies and it encouraged me.
This is my own and i need help.

I met her 3 months ago and we loved each other instantly. There was a still peace in our hearts that convinced us we were meant to be so we got dating. At the beginning we held our hands and went on our knees and submitted the relationship to God. A few weeks later she will come and see me and some times sleep over. Then i can’t explain what happened but we sinned, and again, and again. After each of this act, i will feel bad and apologize to her and also God but it will happen again. We love each other so much and we see a beautiful future together but not in this sinful state. Our both families know and agree to our relationship but i don’t want to loose her because of this sin. Aside this sin, we have no problem and she’s a believer too. Please help me.


Jack Wellman January 4, 2021 at 9:34 am

I would move out immediately and not be living in sin any longer. Those who practice such things (as sexual immorality) will not inherit the kingdom, so please read 1 John as there is no assurance given to anyone who lives in sin and needs help, but they have to move out and that will be step one for help. Stop the sleep-overs. Please call your pastor today. This cannot continue. True believers do not live in sexual immorality. The truth is, neither of you may be saved for believers do not so such things as a general practice. Get married or stay out of that house where there might be more sex between unmarried people.


Kerri on mowatt January 6, 2021 at 3:07 am

I have been Baptist for almost 2years now and I met a young man and we fell in love with each so we started to date we carried away and I’m worried because I have sin against my god and we are trying to control our feelings and it is hard wat should we do


Jack Wellman January 6, 2021 at 10:13 am

No believer continues to live in sin (Read 1 John) so something must change. Call your pastor and seek counsel as we need one another more today than ever (Heb 10:24-25). God will not bless this relationship right now. Paul states in Gal 5 that ” I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.” Please seek counsel. Stop this sexual immorality and only then may God bless this relationship.


Emma January 25, 2021 at 9:38 am

Sir, I have repented of my sexual sins and have cut ties with my girlfriend but I don’t seem to understand how to make the confession you claim for the cleansing according to the scripture. Is it by confessing to God or to my pastor?


Jack Wellman January 25, 2021 at 9:41 am

I would go to God and confess it to Him and you will surely be forgiven.


David February 8, 2021 at 12:08 am

Thanks for this. My search for true forgiveness and freedom brought me to this platform. I want to ask this: how can I bee free from the consequences of past immoral actions including ladies who have committed abortions because of me. I feel I am facing the consequences of these shameful acts now. I have repented. Am I still facing the consequences or is it my mind?


Jack Wellman February 8, 2021 at 9:43 am

We may have consequences for our sin but God will forgive us (1 John 1:9). I believe now it is in your mind for God forgives what we confess.


Reuel February 22, 2021 at 12:03 am

Sir, I vowed not to have sex before marriage. But along the line, I met this Christian sister who was struggling with sexual sins. So, I drew closer to help her, but at last she forced me to sleep with her. Now I’m emotionally challenged, though I have sought for forgiveness from God. What should I do again?


Jack Wellman February 22, 2021 at 9:37 am

No one should force you into sex. You made the choice so now you can repent of this and determine not to sin again. God will forgive you for sure my friend Reuel. Talk to your pastor about this. Here’s what the Bible teaches:

1 Timothy 5:17-18 ESV
Let the elders who rule well be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in preaching and teaching. For the Scripture says, “You shall not muzzle an ox when it treads out the grain,” and, “The laborer deserves his wages.”

Galatians 6:6
One who is taught the word must share all good things with the one who teaches.

1 Corinthians 9:14
In the same way, the Lord commanded that those who proclaim the gospel should get their living by the gospel.

Don’t you think you should profit from work? The pastor is not proffitng from the church but surviving.


Marky February 25, 2021 at 2:36 am

I have sinned against God by commiting sexual act with someone. We got drunk and things follow. I abstained sex for 8 years and this happened. I’m scared what If God can’t forgive me anymore and punish me with a STD like HIV. I’m scared and anxious right now.


Jack Wellman February 25, 2021 at 9:20 am

I would talk with your church pastor about this. God will forgive this sin but you need to speak with a man of God to get this settled to see if you are truly saved or not.


Miriam April 3, 2021 at 6:33 pm

This is so helpful.Kindly can I know how someone can get intouch with the author


Chon April 17, 2021 at 12:41 am

I’m facing problem from lust. I try to get over from my life but cannot. It have become part of my life and every time I fall, knowing that its sin.


Jack Wellman April 17, 2021 at 10:40 am

Hello Chon. I will pray for you my friend. Call your pastor. Talk to him. Here’s more on overcoming lust: https://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/advice-for-christians-struggling-with-lust/


Joy April 30, 2021 at 10:28 am

I am currently in my boyfriend’s house and we’ve been having sex. I love God and it’s my will to live up to His standards. I want to leave but don’t just know how to. The more I get up to leave, the more i stay back. I have cried to God to find me, i am His lost sheep and I can’t get up either. It’s like a weakness. I need help


Jack Wellman April 30, 2021 at 12:26 pm

Hello Joy. Please call your pastor and seek counsel. Have your church pray for you as an unspoken needs as we need this more than ever (Heb 10:24-25) but you must do what Jesus said to do. If your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out, meaning take as drastic of measures as necessary to leave this sexually immoral relationship. You are in Satan’s hands now. Move to a friends. Find a church shelter or family member. You need help but you must be willing to take extreme measures, for the Bible tells us all who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. Please repent today because if Jesus were to come today, you know your fate. I will pray for you but YOU must take action today, while it’s still called today (2 Cor 6:2).


Lucky June 1, 2021 at 2:37 pm

I have two kids out of wedlock. We have lived for six years now. all through this period things have been so difficult for us. Securing a job as a graduate of medical biochemistry has been so difficult for me. We decided to separate our self to avoid fornication and serv God, and get married when things get better.i pay their bills and send money for feeding. My father called me and said I should live that girl and look for a girl from my town, that he will support me, he said if I failed to do that, that I will regret in my fiftys, that he was led by the spirit of God to tell me that. Again he said that the girl is the reason of my being unsuccessful . please what should I do now.


Pastor Jack Wellman June 1, 2021 at 2:57 pm

Hello Lucky. I would be cautious any time that someone else speaks for God. God has already spoken in His Word (Heb 1:1-2) so we do not need new revelation from God or the spirit of God. I would not listen to your father, good intentions as he may have, but there is no where in Scripture that we are told that someone else will speak to us in place of God. God speaks to us in His Spirit in us and in His Word. I think your plan is better. Don’t let the temptation of having money to provide security for you when you already seem to love the woman who is mother of your children. This seems a better and more biblical way so I believe you should get married since you both apparently love one another and you already have children. I believe God would bless your desire to do this instead of starting over and looking for someone else. I will pray for you Lucky.


Lucy Grech June 21, 2021 at 8:00 am

Matthew 17:21
“However, this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting.”

pray and fast – it’s extraordinary when you.do this your desire for sex will go.
It’s a miracle.

God is faithful!!


Lucy Grech June 21, 2021 at 8:08 am

a]However, this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting.” Matthew 17:21

Pray and fast – you will see extraordinary results and desire, lust will go. It truly is a miracle.


Jack Wellman June 21, 2021 at 10:19 am

What a great idea my friend. Thank you Lucy.


Evelyn June 23, 2021 at 8:19 am

I am having sex with my pastor, I am a pastor myself. I want to stop but I find myself doing it again and again. I want to leave to somewhere else but I need the courage to tell him. What do I di


Jack Wellman June 23, 2021 at 10:00 am

You must leave this relationship and church now. Those who practice such things will not be entering heaven, so Scripture says. This pastor must be a pastor from Satan as Satan has his own ministers. You either must tell him or perish in your sins. You need courage, yes, but read Rev 21:8 for reasons to be courageous.


Evelyn June 25, 2021 at 7:35 pm

Hello, please I need your advice Again.
I told you earlier that I was having a sexual relationship with my pastor. I have spoken with him and he promised it won’t happen again. Do you think I should still stay or just go to another branch of my church? I am at a crossroad


Jack Wellman June 25, 2021 at 9:23 pm

Hello Again Evelyn. I did actually answer your post by saying “You must leave this relationship and church now. Those who practice such things will not be entering heaven, so Scripture says. This pastor must be a pastor from Satan as Satan has his own ministers. You either must tell him or perish in your sins. You need courage, yes, but read Rev 21:8 for reasons to be courageous.” Please see the comments below and you can see my first response to you and this recent one too. We respond to all comments.


Nana Hemaa July 11, 2021 at 10:54 am

I have been out of my immoral relationship for three years now. But I still feel like God has forsaken me bcos I betrayed him when I was sinning. How do I get properly aligned with God.


Jack Wellman July 11, 2021 at 3:49 pm

Hello Nana. I would call your pastor and tell him this very same thing. I believe he would give you comfort in knowing that the Bible teaches that God forgives us of all of our sins, not most or some, but all! Read 1 John 1:9. To get aligned properly with God, see what you can do in your church to serve as we’re commanded to do (Matt 25:35-36) as unto Christ (Matt 25:40), but to not do anything for Him in the Body of Christ is a serious sin of being lost (Matt 25:41-…). God does not ever forsake us or leave us (Heb 13:5). Here’s more about how to forgive yourself: https://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/how-to-forgive-yourself-a-christian-commentary/


PJ July 23, 2021 at 4:21 am

Your 10 steps are good but l would put at the top of the list real emphasis on Spending time with your Lord and Savior , pray and thank Him for everything cry out and ask the Holy Spirit to fill you with His power and cleansing healing to fill the void of sexual sin. Ask God for a revelation how much he loves you and the person or people you are lusting over,. Ask God for a Godly hate for that sin so it will be conviction and not a condemnation.
Peter J
Also a comment the adds that are advertised with your 10 points sort of contradict the teachings example horoscopes, tarot card readings, money making scams etc….


Jack Wellman July 23, 2021 at 9:40 am

Hello PJ. If you see these ads please click the “x” in the upper right hand corner because sometimes they slip by us and we need to delete these.


Duncan July 25, 2021 at 1:13 am

I need your help. I am haunted by bestiality that used to happen in my tender age with goats, sheep and cows.
Currently am addicted to masturbation and fornication.
Please help me


Jack Wellman July 25, 2021 at 8:22 am

Hello Duncan. Please call your pastor and be brave enough to ask him for help. You need the prayers of the saints too, even if it’s unspoken needs (Heb 10:24-25). Here’s more help for you: https://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/how-to-overcome-an-addiction-to-pornography-help-for-struggling-christians/


lydia e torres August 13, 2021 at 9:50 pm

Please help I have fallen into sexual sin again. I had sex with the guy I am seeing. I went to his place .It has happened several times already I humbly ask for God’s forgiveness and mercy I know now I will not go to his home anymore .Please God almighty Heavenly father Please forgive me I know I can’t go to his place I fell into sin .


Onyeka August 28, 2021 at 10:56 pm

I made a covenant with God to live sexually pure till marriage. However, I fell into the sin of masturbation for several years even while still serving God in the church. I sought help and tried to quit but I kept falling back to it. I started a godly distant relationship recently but I met another sister in the church, one thing led to another I had sex with her…

I feel my destiny has been destroyed and how do I handle this? as I worship in the same church with this lady.
I have prayed and asked God for mercy.
Will this affect my distant relationship with the person I want to marry?


Jack Wellman August 29, 2021 at 8:31 am

I think since you have repented and God has forgiven you, all should be fine. Call your pastor and have an honest but private talk with him.


Dennis Njeru September 27, 2021 at 1:16 am

I really need help…i have a girlfriend whom i love so much ,,and she loves me too..at some point we engaged in sexual acts..in my heart she is the love of my life…i just feel it would be so difficult to breakup with her..also i would break her heart by stopping the relationship…what should i do


Jack Wellman September 27, 2021 at 9:36 am

You must either choose to please God or please yourself or your girlfriend. Count the cost. Is this relationship worth forfeiting your eternal life and heading to hell? Leave this relationship or face God’s judgment my friend. Do you love her or Christ more?


Blizzy October 9, 2021 at 11:42 pm

I keep doing the same thing I prayed not to do again. I need a mentor, I want to be accountable daily to someone. That’s my Email address. Am tired of disappointing God


Becky October 10, 2021 at 9:45 pm

I have already done court wedding and my bride price will be paid few days from today (traditional marriage). Is it a sin; if I have sex with my husband, as though we would be doing church (white) wedding in few months time?


Jack Wellman October 11, 2021 at 9:03 am

What is the “Bride price” that has been paid? What does that mean? Any sex before marriage is sin but I am not sure what you are asking.


Chad October 18, 2021 at 4:20 pm

Please I need help in a situation, but would like to talk privately. Can you please please please contact me.


Jack Wellman October 18, 2021 at 4:34 pm

Hello Chad. Click on this link: https://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/contact/ and someone will be available for you to contact. Prayers for you until then.


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