Teen Purity: 10 Tips on How to Remain Pure

by Pamela Rose Williams on March 7, 2012 · Print Print · Email Email

Ask any parent, the subject of teen purity is one of the most difficult to convey and convince. I think it is because many parents find that discussing this subject or anything to do with sex with their teens very hard. Even so, it is something that as parents we must not avoid. The conversation should begin as soon as your teen shows interest in the opposite sex. It is my recommendation that both parents get in on the conversation when at all possible. However, for a boy, it might just be an outing with Dad when Dad notices that son is considering spending time with a special girl. So the subject of teen purity is not only for girls, as many might think, it is a subject for boys as well. Here are 10 tips on how to maintain teen purity.

“If you want to insulate your child from the many sexual pressures, develop a close open relationship of mutual respect and love.”  Josh McDowell

Parent’s Help to Maintain Teen Purity

teen purity

Purpose in your Heart that You Will Honor God’s Girl or Guy

Pray for the Purity of Your Teen

Daily pray that the Lord would keep your teen pure in His sight. Pray that they would be receptive to learn about God’s plan for a man and a woman. Pray that God sends a godly young man for your daughter and pray for that young man’s purity. Pray that your son becomes a godly young man that would be a blessing to his future wife and don’t forget to pray for her purity as well. “Pray without ceasing” 1 Thessalonians 5:17


Monitor What Your Teen is Doing

Do you know what kind of stuff your teen is doing when they are on their computer? What are you allowing your teen to watch on the TV or at the movie theatre? Anything that has a rating now-a-days above “G” has sexual content. It might not be “in your face” sex, but it will have innuendo. What are they listening to on the radio or their MP3 player? Guard their eyes and ears because what goes in there invades the innocence of their heart. “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23

Teen Purity through Learning

As a parent it is so important that you understand God’s standard for purity. Study the Word to learn the purpose of sexual intimacy. You might also want to look into some other things that folks have written on the subject. Some that have written about purity include Josh McDowell, Shanti Feldhan and the Harris brothers. I even recommend that you do some reading with your teens. Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” 2 Timothy 2:15

Teen Purity through Teaching

Teach your teen what you have learned and the reason why God made male and females to mate. Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward (Psalms 127:3). Read the first few chapters of Genesis and Ephesians 5 with your teen. Help them to understand that God has a plan for them and part of the plan is to wait until marriage.

Be Honest

When your teen asks you the question: “Did you wait”, tell them the truth. If you waited tell them how and why you did. If you did not wait, tell them what caused you to get so physically involved with another. Were you a believer in purity and got caught into the trap of lust? Were you ignorant and believed that waiting until marriage was impossible or not important? Be truthful and admit that you regret the decision. Then use it as an opportunity to teach that even when it has already happened, God can still purify you as you make a decision to follow His way and honor His plan.  But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ.” Ephesians 4:15

Teen’s Responsibility for Purity

Say a Little Prayer for Purity

When you are sweet on someone you think of them often. When you think of them offer up a little prayer that the two of you continue to understand the importance of purity.  Pray that you will not think on things that could cause you to fall into temptation.  Consider even committing this simple Scripture to memory that you might repeat often: Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.” Psalms 19:14

Do the Hard Thing

Learn from your parents and then stand up to your peers when they pressure or make fun of you because of your purity. Be strong and courageous. It’s the least you can do for all Christ has done for you – He took the nails for you! But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

Purpose in your Heart that You Will Honor God’s Girl or Guy

Don’t ever forget that the girl or guy that you are with belongs to God. Treat them with honor and sincerity. Be kind and loving. Put their needs above your own. When you do this, God will be pleased and look down and say “Well done, my good and faithful servant”. When you honor him or her as one who belongs to God, your thoughts, words and deeds will naturally be pure. “Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.” Philippians 2:2-3

Be Careful Where You Go

Don’t take yourself and your companion to a place where you can be easily tempted. Welcome a chaperone when you want to go see a good movie or maybe go out for a pizza. Invite your sweetheart over to your house to spend time with your Mom & Dad and your other family members. Accept invitations to spend time at your sweetie’s house too. You can learn lots from the family about who your sweetheart is. When you see that you are getting into a questionable situation, change your course. It is not God’s plan for you to be intimate with your girl or boy friend until you are married. Make sure your sweetheart knows the limit and do not go against what you know is right for a few moments of passion. God will bless you for this. There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. 1 Corinthians.”  10:13

Dress Modestly

Modesty is something that is most difficult to achieve in certain cultures. Even so, there is no need for a young lady to wear a revealing top the shows body parts with nothing left to the imagination. In the same respect, young men ought to wear clean clothing that has a comfortable fit. A young man ought to be clean cut. Slacks that are too tight for either the young lady or the young man are not only unnecessary, they could lead one to think on things that are not pure. Clothing are made to be a covering; make sure they cover. Don’t overdo it and don’t under do it. Taking care of yourself and practicing good grooming shows that you respect the body that God has given to you. When you respect your own body, you will respect the body of your sweetheart too. In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array.” 1 Timothy 2:9. “Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?” 1 Corinthians 11:14

And One More Thing

I found this little tidbit when I was researching for this article: Teenagers who have a low occurrence involvement in religious and educational activities are more likely to experience teen pregnancy. Involvement in religious activities is one of the strongest factors related to a later sexual debut (including waiting until marriage)…” [1] Being involved with church sponsored activities is a good thing! Just one note of caution, even though it is sponsored by a church it is always wise for the parents to check it out every now and again. This is not interfering; this is good parenting.

Sources:

The Holy Bible, King James Version

[1] http://www.teenhelp.com/teen-pregnancy/teen-pregnancy-risks.html

Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net



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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

Josh March 7, 2012 at 7:29 am

Pam,

Congrats on your 100th article on WCWTK! You bring such encouragement to so many. Also, this article was well written and needed. I especially like that you included the “Do hard things” aspect from the Harris brothers. I have read that book and have it on a list I am going to have my kids read when they get older.

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Pam March 7, 2012 at 9:21 am

Thanks Josh, your words encourage me to always do my best.

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Michael Williams March 7, 2012 at 8:11 am

Congrats to my dear wife on her 100th article. I know she spends hours working on WCWTK and her own site writing articles that make a difference in people’s lives for the glory of God all the while running our ministry office. She is a wonderful wife and God has blessed me and our ministry to have her. I love you Pam.

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Pam March 7, 2012 at 9:22 am

Thanks honey, I am able to do it because of your support and because of the talent that God has given me. I love you too!

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Jeff Telling March 7, 2012 at 11:33 pm

I must say I echo Josh’s comments, with my daughters now approaching the end of their teen years, this is great advice from the great Author and Finisher of our faith, using your gift for writing to convey His Word. Well done! Congratulations on 100 articles, as many have been edified. I look forward to reading many more!
Jeff

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Pam March 8, 2012 at 12:12 am

All glory to God Jeff. Thanks for dropping by and such kind words.

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Susie March 11, 2012 at 12:41 pm

I loved this article! i became a mother before i was married and before i was a born-again christian. i wish so often i had waited until marriage and saved my purity. these values were never taught to me as a teen and i think parents who do teach their children are such a blessing! God bless!

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Kathleen Lucero March 14, 2012 at 3:39 am

Hi ! :) I’m Kathleen from Philippines and one of the Teens, I’m only 14 years old and blessed from reading your articles !!!! Thank you very much for this inspiring article and that I learned something on it ! :) You are so blessed to people like me ! :) Thank you so much! Keep it up and God Bless!

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Pam March 14, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Hello Kathleen from a lovely Asian land! I am so happy that you read this article and were inspired from what you learned. We are blessed by readers like you. Come back and visit again anytime.

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Caroline Billiot April 12, 2012 at 10:24 am

I just got my purity ring yesterday for my 16th birthday and I love it. What prayer should I pray for purity until I get married? Thanks and may God bless!

In God’s Everlasting Love,
Caroline :)

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Caroline Billiot April 12, 2012 at 10:25 am

P.S. I’m from North Louisiana. :)

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Pam Williams April 12, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Hello Caroline from Louisiana! CONGRATULATIONS! Try this for a prayer: Dear Lord, thank you for keeping me pure in thought, word and deed. Please help me make good decisions about the young men I choose to spend time with. Help me also to trust my parents to guide me in the right direction. Lord I love you and I do this to honor you. Please keep me away from tempting situations and remind me when I need to change the way that I am going so that I continue to be pure until the day when you bless me with my husband on our wedding night. I ask this in the name of Jesus. AMEN

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ROSE May 6, 2012 at 7:13 am

V.GOOD ARTICLE.DIS IS ROSE (19YEARS OLD).I NEED TO CHANGE MYSELF.HELP ME.

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jack October 3, 2012 at 6:00 am

great article. i’m a christian aged 16 and sexual thoughts are probably the biggest problem in my life at the moment – although with God’s help i’m doing what i can to remain pure.

i agree with what you say about modesty. i love swimming but i’ve had to stop going to my local pool because they allow girls to wear bikinis – even though i try to use josh harris’s bouncing eye technique, this is too much of a temptation for me.

God bless.

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Nanny October 30, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Pamela,
Love your column and it’s a wonderful inspiration. I’m raising a grandaughter whose mother died from Leukemia and whose father works out of town a lot. She is a wonderful blessing to me and for her 13th birthday wanted a Purity ring so I was looking for an applicable verse. Jeremiah 29:11 has always been a favorite and seemed to fit so I just wanted to share with you that we are going to use that on her card with a ring with a cross and heart. God Bless you for sharing. nanny J.

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Pamela Rose Williams October 30, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Thank you for your kind words Nanny

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catherine l. March 6, 2013 at 12:37 am

There’s a difference between sexual thoughts and sexual actions. The reactions are biological and normal for the body. The difference between people who know they are more than just their body is they can tell the difference and accept, understand an acknowledge sexual sensations and instincts and and the power of that drive but honor the purpose and their own person and body by knowing there is so much more.

Many kids and adults today use sex as a way to avoid closeness and intimacy, or else because they long for true love and don’t have it.

Go for the love!

The subject came up tonight at dinner. My girls showed me this new one. Hallelujah! A song for our girls — No no no — (http://youtu.be/ayDUGA2twuc)

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