E-Mail 'True Friendship: A Bible Study on Friends' To A Friend

by Pastor Jack Wellman · Print Print · Email Email

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Nathaleen Bongcaras October 7, 2016 at 6:49 pm

I have a friend and she said I’m always studying. I think she doesn’t like that. What should I do? I want my grades to be higher. I hope she’ll understand. She has another friend. 🙁 Give me advice please.

Jack Wellman October 7, 2016 at 7:00 pm

If she is your true friend, she will understand, but you can’t really be “always studying” can you? If you are always studying, you won’t ever have a break and have few friends. Your studies are more important than making friends or keeping friends. Try to find a balance.

RATHIANASAMY V October 26, 2016 at 4:39 am

Articles are very informative and very useful. praise the Lord Jesus.

jeanie October 26, 2016 at 4:34 pm

I feel like a bad friend and not a good person because I feel like its my ‘duty’ to spend time with my friend of 6 years. Shes a good person & I used to have fun w/her but past few years I feel shes gotten so draining to me emotionally & mentally – I try to guide her or give suggestions on what to do about what shes alwayscomplaining about but she always has an excuse on why none of those things will ever work. I mentioned to her 6 mnths ago that I started being healthier & going on walks w/new friend from church & she said ‘oh well i guess im replaced now by ur new friend’ & ever since shell make remarks like ‘i guess ur friend replaced me so…’ or ‘u better check with ur friend 1st since shes taken my place.’ she says shes joking but shes not nor is she laughing. I dont know what to do. Ive told her many times that friends dont replace friends & its not nice. I feel asa friends should b happy for each other when their making new friends not jealous or say not so nice remarks.

Ramez Qamar June 22, 2018 at 11:28 am

This post is so relatable. I am in almost exactly the same position as my own friend of about the same years. He is really becoming jealous and I do not exactly know what to do but pray for the Lord’s wisdom. I’m in a position where I’m really starting to be picky with who I go out with and I’m always unsure of who I can comfortably call a friend that is right for me. It feels lonely at times and I don’t know what I’m doing anymore except I know that God will take care of me. I’m curious however seeing that this post is really old, what happened with your friend if I may find out?

Marnie November 23, 2016 at 3:22 am

Do you invite her to come with you & your new friends? Do you pray for her or with her? Is she walking with The Lord?
Her joking around is really how she feels.. In the word it says, The abundance of the Heart the mouth speaks.
Pray about this, be real with God about your feelings towards her and what you should do to create healthy boundaries.. The Holy Spirit l will lead you into all truth. This maybe an unhealthy friendship And time for some healthy changes to be made for the both of you to mature and grow in Christ.. being established and rooted in His love.. As much as we need fellowship & sisters in Christ, we need to look to our saviour to satisfy all our needs. People are broken & will fail us, but God is will never leave us or forsake us, He is always faithful.

Annie February 9, 2017 at 10:48 am

I’ve had a best friend for over 2 years, we have shared dreams, memories, vacations and many good times. Recently she has had a very upsetting thing happen with one of her children. Because of this she has stopped talking to me, saying she’s too emotionally upset to talk. Days and sometimes weeks go by and I don’t hear from her. I want to be there for her as she has been there for me during difficult times I’ve been through, but she won’t let me. I feel hurt that she has shut me out. I don’t know if this is the end of our friendship, and it saddens me if it is. I just don’t know what to do. Would welcome any advice.

Jack Wellman February 9, 2017 at 10:55 am

Hello Annie. Let me say that the Bible teaches that a brother (and sister) are born for adversity (Prov 17:17), so your true friends will never leave you. All you can do is pray for them and ask God to soften their heart. Maybe you could send a greeting card. Give her space and time. It may be something in her life that’s going on and it’s not you personally. It may not be the end of your friendship, but even if it is, God knows what works out best for us in our lives (Rom 8:28), but we must trust Him in this. Talk to your pastor and see if he says something similar or gives you better advice than I have.

Cynthia February 12, 2017 at 7:59 am

I’m curious which version you found Proverbs 18:24 in. When I looked it up, my NIV version doesn’t say anything about showing yourself friendly. It says:
“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
Also, the other versions I checked said basically the same as the NIV (ISV, ASV, NASB, Holman, NIRV)
Here’s the NASB version- “A man of too many friends comes to ruin, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”


Jack Wellman February 12, 2017 at 8:03 am

Thank you Cynthia. I believe it is the ESV we are using. Thank you for your comment.

Ewan March 12, 2017 at 5:03 am

It’s the American KJV.

Natalie March 6, 2017 at 6:06 am

It sounds like your friend is very insecure. This can be a very off-putting character trait. You might just have to be frank with her, sit her down, and have a heart to heart. Tell her that you’d love to be friends with her, but some of these things she does weigh on you and they’re not kind practices. Let her know that it’s ultimately up to her if she wants to continue being friends.

Laudeson April 24, 2017 at 3:03 pm

Please…. I’m looking for a Christian friends…
Whatsapp number…

Jack Wellman April 24, 2017 at 4:06 pm

Hello Laudeson and thank you for commenting. It is in your best interest that we don’t publish your “Whatsapp” number because we get millions of page views, but please call your pastor as we need one another (Heb 10:24-25) and seek to do what Jesus commands us to do (Matt 25:34-39) as we do it to Him (Matt 25:40) or we do nothing for Him (Matt 25:41) and that may be the best place to find Christian friends.

Lili July 26, 2017 at 10:18 am

I have a friend.. I find it hard to get along because she is angry with me all the time. For silly cases she fights with me and avoids me shouts at me… She has a lot of family issues.. each time she fights I keep going after her to solve the issue.. I love her as a friend.. and I can’t stay angry with anyone.. now we are on a fight, if I call and talk to her the problem will be solved but this is going to happen again. When I prayed about it found the verse in proverbs not to keep company with hot tempered people. So is it that I should avoid her? Or should I call and solve the issue.

Jack Wellman July 26, 2017 at 10:45 am

Is this friend a Christian? If not, you are not to be close friends with them. I would invite her to your church, to sit with you, and to go to some of the church’s activities. Just pray about it and yes, a hot tempered person can get you into trouble. Avoid her if she is not saved, if she is saved, go to her and follow Matt 18:15-20.

Justin Celliers August 22, 2017 at 4:47 am

Hello. I have a friend whom is mature in the Lord and who is a role model in his marriage, ministry, and career. We have become close friends since having met each other in January of 2014. We live in the same townhouse complex and attend our church congregation meetings and mid-week meetings together. My friend is the Vice-leader of a Christian Motorcycle Ministry and we have breakfast runs once a month. My birthday is coming up Monday 28 August 2017 and I invited him and his wife to join my wife and I and some other friends and family for a barbeque at my place the Sunday 27 August. He immediatly accepted and said they will be there. Later on in the week he told me that he can’t come to the barbeque because there is a breakfast run on the same Sunday and that he forgot about it. I had already invited other family members and friends to my barbeque and my friend knew this. He then suggested I change my plans and fall in with his plans to attend the breakfast run. My question is this: am I wrong to be dissappointed in my friend for first accepting my invitation to my barbeque and then cancelling after he remembered the breakfast run? Surely friendship comes before ministry?

Jack Wellman August 22, 2017 at 10:43 am

Hello Justin. Yes, I would be disappointed but I would not act like it as we are to be content in all things. What your friend did was wrong, but I am not sure ministry comes after friendship. Paul and Barnabas had an argument and split up their missionary team and so rather than mend their friendship, they knew they must be on their mission because we are all commanded to be on mission. Don’t put it like friendship must come before ministry, but rather try to overlook this and don’t lose your friendship over this and the fellowship you enjoy in the townhouse and in your church. To me, it’s just not worth losing a friendship over this. Take the high road…I believe Jesus would.

Christian Tolentino September 26, 2017 at 8:43 am

hello, i had a new friend. this person serves and  worships the Lord whole-heartedly and he is a former video editor and dancer in their church. I think i made him tired of listening at me because i always said to him that  ” all of you are the same, fair-weather friend and back stabber.” but he always said,” not all”. I did not listen to him, i’m still stand on my views. 

Right now, when i read your page, I feel so bad and made myself fool. I forget to value my present friend. I did not listen to my friend’s advise and it’s ” don’t look in the past but look what is in the present. Move on.”   
God touched my heart. LORD, I am SORRY. BAI, I am SORRY.

Thanks to your page.

Sharae December 31, 2017 at 8:30 am

My best friend and I met 2000. He introduced me to his girlfriend who he eventually made his wife. I spoke to her several times over the phone and emails. I finally met her in 2007. She became my sister as he is like my brother. Well, the marriage did not work out for several reasons. She has been such a lifesaver with different trials and tribulations that I faced. He feels that I am no longer a faithful friend to him because I am still close to her. We never discuss the other PERIOD! She is one of my bridesmaids and I asked if he would speak at my wedding. I mentioned that she would be there. His response, “what does a friend or best friend mean?

Jack Wellman December 31, 2017 at 10:57 am

The husband of your best friends seems to be jealous and why? It may be a sign of his insecurity. So, what does a best friend mean? It means they are there in the good times and bad and they are bounded by love and by God’s Spirit. There are things that trouble me about this man but what can you do? I am sorry that he thinks you are “still close to her,” but every woman, even married ones, need a best friend.

Hurt and Confused January 30, 2018 at 10:23 am

I have a friend and we say we’re best friends. We play around a lot but sometimes she jokes to the point where it actually hurts my feelings. As Christians, we’re not to dwell in our feelings and the other day, I admitted that I was not mad but I was irritated abt the conversation and she got mad and hung up on me. Texted me telling me different things, saying I’m not a good friend, and a lot of other hurtful things and I ended up apologizing as usual. I can’t, rather I know, I’m not always in the wrong but she seems to flip things on me like it is. My question is, I will love her and work beside her in the minstry but outside of ministry, do I have to be her best friend? We are both ministers and I truly forgive her but I don’t want to continue to be blamed for everything in life. I do however want to do what’s right.

Jack Wellman January 30, 2018 at 11:09 am

I would sit down with your pastor and you two together and work this out. At least try to speak with your friend in private. Jesus said that others will know we are His disciples if we love one another (John 13:34-35). Perhaps your friend is hurting and something in her life is wrong, so it may be just her reaction to a lot of things in her life. Maybe she treats others in the same way, but if she is in the ministry, I would sense God will not use anyone greatly until the first humble themselves deeply. She acts is if she is prideful, and God resists the proud (James 4:6). Try to ignore her and find another friend. Maybe she’ll repent.

MUYU February 27, 2018 at 3:58 am

Thanks a lot for this post. I have a best friend whom i love so much and truly speaking i can sacrifice and take risk for her just like Jonathan . She loves me too so much. our relationship has been based on God’s love . we are all children of God our theme verse is John 15:13 , done so many things for the sake of the gospel and we share almost same thoughts about many issue in life. Many people admire our friendship and at-times use us as a reference point . She has impacted my soul in a great way , and has sacrificed a lot for me, and she is one of the persons who has really shown me real friendship . All has been well but recently or for sometime now we have been having issues with our friendship , we argue a lot even over trivial things , everyone trying to make her point heard, we easily get irritated with each other at times over small issues, whenever i meet her i feel very frightened that if i say something we might end up quarreling . At times i avoid calling or texting just because i do not want issues . The truth is i am the one always fun of making first moves to see that our friendship work but it works for sometime and after a while we pick a fight . I equally have the feelings that she hides her things from telling me , but never the less i still confine in her as usual . I believe am doing the right thing but sometimes i feel like giving up. But recently i have been praying about our friendship and i pray and hope things go back to normal the way they used to be . I truly love my friend and i pray things go back to normal.

Thanks again for your post . God bless You

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