Most things come with an instruction book. Your car has a manual and before you drive a car you even get a “learner’s permit”. Then you must study and pass a couple tests before you are allowed to legally drive that car. The microwave, the television, the cell phone, the stereo – they all come with instruction manuals. But what about parenting, do you have a book that tells you how to do that? Well of course you do! As Christians we can look to the Bible for a full set of instructions on how to be parents. It is important to read the Bible to glean what it has to say about the awesome opportunity we have to be parents. As believers we must keep a Biblical worldview instead of a humanistic worldview in order to maintain a Godly culture in our homes which then impacts our community. The Bible reminds us that children are precious to the parents. It also tells us how to teach, train and discipline them. Take a look at these important Bible verses for parents.
Children are Precious Creations & Blessings – Love Them
Train up a child in the way he should go ...
Deuteronomy 7:14 You shall be blessed above all peoples. There shall not be male or female barren among you or among your livestock.
Psalms 127:3-5 Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
Psalms 139:13-16 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.
Matthew 18:12-14 What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray. So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.
Ephesians 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Teaching, Training and Discipline
The Bible uses Hebrew and Greek words for “discipline” that are much more encompassing than we use in the English language today. I have found the following definitions, which are very helpful to know when you are parenting according to the Bible:
Old Testament – The Hebrew word “muwcar”(originates from “yacar”) [1]
muwcar – properly, chastisement; figuratively, reproof, warning or instruction; also restraint:
KJV – bond, chastening ([-eth]), chastisement, check, correction, discipline, doctrine, instruction, rebuke.
yacar – to chastise, literally (with blows) or figuratively (with words); hence, to instruct:
KJV – bind, chasten, chastise, correct, instruct, punish, reform, reprove, sore, teach.
New Testament – The Greek word “paideía”: [2]
1. The whole training and education of children Eph 6:4
2. Whatever in adults also cultivates the soul, especially by correcting mistakes and curbing the passions
a. Instruction which aims at the increase of virtue: 2 Tim 3:16
b. According to Biblical usage chastisement, chastening Heb 12:5
Parents Should Learn and Teach Memory Verses
The following verses are purposefully not in book order as I believe children should learn these verses in the following order:
Ephesians 6:1-3 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
Parents are Commanded to Train Children
Deuteronomy 6:6-9 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
Proverbs 1:8-9 Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Colossians 3:21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
Parents are Commanded to Discipline/Chastise Children
Proverbs 13:24 Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
Proverbs 19:18 Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death.
Proverbs 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.
Proverbs 23:13-14 (KJV) Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
Proverbs 29:17 Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.
Sources:
The Holy Bible, King James Version
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version
“Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.”
[1] Biblesoft’s New Exhaustive Strong’s Numbers and Concordance with Expanded Greek-Hebrew Dictionary. Copyright (c) 1994, Biblesoft and International Bible Translators, Inc.
[2] Thayer’s Greek Lexicon, Electronic Database. Copyright (c) 2000 by Biblesoft
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{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }
Thank God for this powerful message, may God give me the wisdom to teach my children.
And may God continue giving you the wisdom to help us parents.
Hi Sharon, God is good to give us this wisdom and it is for everyone … it is right there in the Bible. I am pleased to have provided it here at WCWTK. Thanks for taking time to comment. Blessings to you!
Hi Pam~
I notice you use both the KJV and the ESV…would you say the ESV is an accurate translation? I’ve never read it but it reads beautifully! Also, thank you for these verses. The Bible is full of wisdom.
~Annie
Hi Annie, I personally prefer the KJV to any other translation. I have agreed to use ESV as much as possible here at WCWTK at the request of my editor. This is why you see me use both. I will choose KJV over the ESV based upon my study and research of the original Greek and Hebrew texts when I believe the KJV is more clear. Also, all of my memorized verses are KJV so sometimes I will include that from my memory. I encourage you to do some research on the ESV so that you can understand the translation better. I agree it reads beautifully but also, personally, believe the KJV is a beautiful translation.
Thanks for taking the time to post your comment here at WCWTK.
Thanks for sharing! God spoke to my heart today about teaching (particularly memorizing bible verses) and training my children as they grow (in Christ) and the reference verses are a huge help! God bless!
PS: Like you, I personally believe KJV is a beautiful translation and that’s what we use in church.
Hi Marj, So sorry for my tardy response. I am encouraged that this article spoke to you today. That’s God’s word for you — quick and powerful! Now run along and get busy training those little ones how to memorize and I will pray that you can be blessed by the whole process. Stop by again soon.
Thank you so much for sharing! God truly spoke to me through these verses. I can’t wait to read the whole bible and memorize these! Thank youu!! (:
Hi Hayley, All praise and honor to God for this one. This is His word and I am happy to share it. Fall in love with His word and you will always want to read your Bible. Thanks for the kind words honey. Come back soon.
I have been struggling with myself and my husbands way of parenting. He tends to get angry abd lash out at our young daughter where as I like to take a softer approach. This contradiction has been causing problems with our house hold, it doesn’t function the way it should. Our daughter isn’t even school aged and I feel as though this is just confusing and not fair to her. I love my husband and he loves her but whatever I say to get him to have a change he doesn’t take me seriously. I’m trusting the Lord to get us through this. Thank you for sharing <3
Thanks for such a powerful article. I am writing a book about my life growing up in an unchristian home and would like to reference your article.
Hi Betty. Sounds like a great book. You may reference the article and use excerpts as long as you cite WCWTK as your source in foot or end notes. So happy God spoke to you through this. Purdue University has a great page to help you with proper MLA citation. Take a look here: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/747/08/
God bless you for this opportunity. Kindly keep updating me with Biblical messages. Also I would New International Version Bibles and tracts to aid my ministry. My postal address is:
EVANS KWAKYE,
P. O. BOX AT 2028,
ACHIMOTA MARKET,
ACCRA,
GHANA.
this is great and all, except you failed to mention the exceptional children whose parent do not treat their children welll. i understand i should obey my father and my mother, but they do not act as if they are parents. No, they talk down on their children and beat them and verbally abuse them. where in the bible does it say thats okay? and where is it stated that in situations such as this that obeying your father and mother may not be in your best interest and is unhealthy. Why does it only say what children should do for the parent, and not how the parent should treat their child? i’m only speaking from experience, im 17 years old and this is something i deal with. my mom keeps saying i just need to obey my father and mother, but they drivfe me suicidal. then what? where’s my bible verse to shove down their throat?
Repy to Zelda – Please read Zelda!
Zelda,
I understand exactly where you are coming from. My parents are very manipulative, unsincere, and treat me as if I really don’t matter. I still love them and pray for them everyday because if you allow for your parents to create resentment, anger, and hatred for them in your heart, then you will repeat what they’ve done to you with your future children. I found a website for you that I believe will really help you:
http://www.bible.ca/f-parent-responsibility.htm.
It talks about how parents are suppose to treat their children with love and much more. I hope it helps you Zelda. It surely ministered to me
Amen Rekita, Amidst my parents who divorced and still did things out of biblical proportions, the Lord always lead me to the cross for them.. Father, forgive my parents for they knew not what they are doing. I truly believe that was Jesus final moment of sharing his love for those who despised him. He still loved them and His Words teaches me I can do the same – 1 John 3:16.
I love the scriptures written here. It helps me to allow the Holy Spirit speak to me when talking to my family. I am aware that I am not perfect and I always tell my children, if they hear something from the Lord to correct me, I am open too. I believe God speaks to everyone, for the edification, strength and love in His Spirit to grow with all of us and put myself lower than those I share in order to clearly understand His Will from My Will.
Dear Zelda,
I am so sorry for this difficult situation you are in today! Your questions remind me of another relationship that often raises similar questions – marriage relationships. God commands wives to honor their husband (Ephesians 5) and many wives have asked, do I have to honor (and obey) my husband when he is abusive or controlling or … (you fill in the blank). The bible does not provide wives (nor children) with an out in these difficult circumstances. So long as obeying the husband/parent will not force you to break God’s laws (the 10 commandments found in Exodus) then we called are to honor the authority (parent/husband/government) over us. Even when the authority over us is not obeying God we are still called to obey that authority IF WE want to honor and obey God. Otherwise we are dishonoring God when we are disobedient to the authority that He has put over us. HTH! I pray God will give you wisdom and endurance to press on and to OBEY GOD IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES. Blessing to you Zelda!
Another thought: I was suicidal at age 14 years (bad family situation) and although I did not yet know God, He gave me the revealation that my family circumstances were temporary because in a few years I would be an adult and I would be free to live my life differently. I pray you would see that any abuse of parental authority will be ending soon as you are nearly an adult. Please be patient and allow God a chance to redeem the years the locust have eaten away. I promise He will amaze you!!!!! Jesus loves you more than ANYONE else ever will!
MY PARENTS ARE SO ANNOYING ! THEY DON’T DO AS THEY PROMISE, SO WHAT SHOULD I DOOO??? besides they always reason with me partially.
well actually my parents don’t reason with me partially. they think their trying to break a bondage from me being addicted to something but they promised that they’ll let me do this specific thing through consideration always if i finish my homework…. and i also made plans with other friends to do this specific thing…. ITS NOT VIOLENT OR ANYTHING THAT REQUIRES TRANSPORT SO WHAT SHOULD I DO???
Hi Pam
Thank you for these powerful verses. It is crisp and concise and a perfect handbook for all parents.
Where is the verse about how when a child reaches a certain age that the father should take them to the field and teach them his work. I have searched and searched and I know it is somewhere!
i like this
Is there any Bible passage about the privacy of the parents’relationship- about children not getting involved in it?
Hello Pam,
I’m a young mom trying to raise my daughter in gods way. I’ve lost my religious ways and I’ve been trying to get them back, when I came across your article. It really inspired me to get my relationship back with god, so I can show my daughter the right ways and to be a godly parent. Thank you and god bless
Thanks for such wordings.Praise the Lord
Hi. I have been searching for instruction on raising children the way God intended. Thank you for the many verses. They are helpful. I worry, though, that there may not be enough clarity as far as the verses on”beating” a child. That for those that may not be walking with the Lord could take that much too literally. And actually beat/abuse their children rather than understanding that this is firm correction/discipline done I’m love and not in anger and should not cause harm.
I am so interested in educating small children God’s way. Currently I am looking for research done in this regard as I am interested to do a PhD in how to start this education process from the womb to about 6 years of age. Is it possible to give me directions or clues where to start? Thank you very much!!
Tess