Have you been praying to God for a Christian husband? There are probably many ways for you to find him—but according to Proverbs 18:22—he’s supposed to find you! This allows for your full and complete focus on God to lead the right man to you. Not the perfect man, but the one who is perfect for you.
So what happens when he shows up? Other than seeking wise counsel from godly men and women, you need to be prayerful and discerning. The following character traits are meant to be a guideline not a legalistic rule (grace, grace, and more grace!). How does this potential husband demonstrate the following traits?
His love for God
“This is love for God: to keep his commands” (1 John 2:16)
Is his passion for God first and foremost evident in his life or is it just a colorful background in his busy life? You are compelled to serve God with all your heart because of the love that He has shown you through salvation. You want a husband who shares your same intensity. His capacity to love you as Christ loves the church will diminish if his love for God is weak from the beginning.
His commitment to building the kingdom of God
“Do the work of an evangelist” (2 Timothy 4:5)
Do you ever see him witnessing to the lost or does he demonstrate an indifference to those who are perishing around him? This will be significant in your future marriage as you want a husband who is sensitive to the plight of those on their way to everlasting suffering. His sensitivity reflects a tender heart to you and those around you.
His generosity in finances, energy, and time
“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also”
Is he a giver or more of a taker? Have you noticed his generosity or his stinginess? He doesn’t have to be wealthy to be generous, but rather he is willing to sacrifice his own money, time, and energy for others. There is great joy for a wife whose husband securely entrusts his gifts to God first and shows her great appreciation.
His willingness to put others before himself
“No one should seek their own good, but the good of others”
(1 Corinthians 10:24)
Does he demonstrate an unselfish attitude or must he get his own way with pouting? A selfish man will bring much grief to a marriage especially when children come along. In contrast, a godly man will set aside his own desires for you without making you feel guilty about it. He will reflect the grace of God in what he says and does.
His service to the church
“This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of the Lord’s people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God” (2 Corinthians 9:12)
Does he simply attend Sunday service or does he actively engage himself in the church ministry? There are always opportunities for members to serve not only on Sundays, but with the youth, elderly, small groups, mission trips, etc.; during the week. He should be doing something for his church that other people recognize and can speak to his devotion of doing a good work as to the Lord.
His biblical knowledge and lifestyle connect with each other
“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says” (James 1:22)
Does he really know the Bible or does he only have cursory knowledge of basic scriptures? God’s word is open and available to everyone from the uneducated to the collegiate. The fruit of his actions and lifestyle should reflect the desire to not only hear the Word of God, but also how he lives it out everyday.
His intensity and faithfulness in prayer
“The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective”
Do his prayers seem to fall flat or do they reflect a strong faith in God to answer mightily? He doesn’t have to use pompous sounding wording, rather his prayers are meaningful, heartfelt, and genuine to the Lord. His prayers ought to stir up a desire in others to believe in God in spite of the circumstances around them.
His attitude about sin and the world
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good,
pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2)
Does he exhibit a repulsion to sin in his life or does he blow it off and make excuses for weaknesses? Is he uncomfortable when surrounded by worldliness or does he blend in? You will know it when you see it. The Holy Spirit within you will raise red flags if he compromises the seemingly insignificant sins in his life.
His interaction with his family
“Put their religion into practice by caring for their own family”
(1 Tim 5:4)
Does he speak begrudgingly of his parents and treat them with dishonor? Or does he exhibit a calm patience and consideration even if his family members don’t return the same grace? A godly man is able to respectfully disagree with his elders without causing drama or shame. You will be blessed to have good relations with your future in-laws and he will be the conduit to that end.
His connection with other Christians
“All the believers were together and had everything in common”
Is he connected with other male Christian friends or does he keep to himself a lot? The presence of believers in his life gives credence to his ability to communicate, to have fun, and to rely on Christian counsel when necessary. Although his friendships shouldn’t monopolize all his free time, his choice of company reflects his level of compatibility.
Take a second look down this list, but this time, make sure that you reflect these traits as well. A couple who love God with all their hearts will be a dynamic duo for the kingdom of God and establish a godly seed for the future.
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