10 Character Traits a Woman Should Look For in a Christian Husband

by Crystal McDowell on March 8, 2013 · Print Print · Email Email

Have you been praying to God for a Christian husband? There are probably many ways for you to find him—but according to Proverbs 18:22—he’s supposed to find you! This allows for your full and complete focus on God to lead the right man to you. Not the perfect man, but the one who is perfect for you.

So what happens when he shows up? Other than seeking wise counsel from godly men and women, you need to be prayerful and discerning. The following character traits are meant to be a guideline not a legalistic rule (grace, grace, and more grace!). How does this potential husband demonstrate the following traits?

His love for God

“This is love for God: to keep his commands” (1 John 2:16)

Is his passion for God first and foremost evident in his life or is it just a colorful background in his busy life? You are compelled to serve God with all your heart because of the love that He has shown you through salvation. You want a husband who shares your same intensity. His capacity to love you as Christ loves the church will diminish if his love for God is weak from the beginning.

His commitment to building the kingdom of God

“Do the work of an evangelist” (2 Timothy 4:5)

Do you ever see him witnessing to the lost or does he demonstrate an indifference to those who are perishing around him? This will be significant in your future marriage as you want a husband who is sensitive to the plight of those on their way to everlasting suffering. His sensitivity reflects a tender heart to you and those around you.

His generosity in finances, energy, and time

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also”
(Matthew 6:21)

Is he a giver or more of a taker? Have you noticed his generosity or his stinginess? He doesn’t have to be wealthy to be generous, but rather he is willing to sacrifice his own money, time, and energy for others. There is great joy for a wife whose husband securely entrusts his gifts to God first and shows her great appreciation.

His willingness to put others before himself

“No one should seek their own good, but the good of others”
(1 Corinthians 10:24)

Does he demonstrate an unselfish attitude or must he get his own way with pouting? A selfish man will bring much grief to a marriage especially when children come along. In contrast, a godly man will set aside his own desires for you without making you feel guilty about it. He will reflect the grace of God in what he says and does.

His service to the church

“This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of the Lord’s people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God” (2 Corinthians 9:12)

A couple who love God with all their hearts will be a dynamic duo for the kingdom of God and establish a godly seed for the future.

A couple who love God with all their hearts will be a dynamic duo for the kingdom of God and establish a godly seed for the future.

Does he simply attend Sunday service or does he actively engage himself in the church ministry? There are always opportunities for members to serve not only on Sundays, but with the youth, elderly, small groups, mission trips, etc.; during the week. He should be doing something for his church that other people recognize and can speak to his devotion of doing a good work as to the Lord.

His biblical knowledge and lifestyle connect with each other

“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says” (James 1:22)

Does he really know the Bible or does he only have cursory knowledge of basic scriptures? God’s word is open and available to everyone from the uneducated to the collegiate. The fruit of his actions and lifestyle should reflect the desire to not only hear the Word of God, but also how he lives it out everyday.

His intensity and faithfulness in prayer

“The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective”
(James 5:16)

Do his prayers seem to fall flat or do they reflect a strong faith in God to answer mightily? He doesn’t have to use pompous sounding wording, rather his prayers are meaningful, heartfelt, and genuine to the Lord. His prayers ought to stir up a desire in others to believe in God in spite of the circumstances around them.

His attitude about sin and the world

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good,
pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2)

Does he exhibit a repulsion to sin in his life or does he blow it off and make excuses for weaknesses? Is he uncomfortable when surrounded by worldliness or does he blend in? You will know it when you see it. The Holy Spirit within you will raise red flags if he compromises the seemingly insignificant sins in his life.

His interaction with his family

“Put their religion into practice by caring for their own family”
(1 Peter 5:4)

Does he speak begrudgingly of his parents and treat them with dishonor? Or does he exhibit a calm patience and consideration even if his family members don’t return the same grace? A godly man is able to respectfully disagree with his elders without causing drama or shame. You will be blessed to have good relations with your future in-laws and he will be the conduit to that end.

His connection with other Christians

“All the believers were together and had everything in common”
(Acts 2:24)

Is he connected with other male Christian friends or does he keep to himself a lot? The presence of believers in his life gives credence to his ability to communicate, to have fun, and to rely on Christian counsel when necessary. Although his friendships shouldn’t monopolize all his free time, his choice of company reflects his level of compatibility.

Take a second look down this list, but this time, make sure that you reflect these traits as well. A couple who love God with all their hearts will be a dynamic duo for the kingdom of God and establish a godly seed for the future.

Have you seen this related article? Take a look:

The Role of the Husband in a Christian Marriage

Resource – New International Version Bible, The Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright© 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblca, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide



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{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }

Brian Ndlovu March 8, 2013 at 7:12 am

Thank you for this site

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Crystal McDowell March 8, 2013 at 9:48 am

God’s blessings to you! I’m blessed by this site as well.

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Richard March 8, 2013 at 7:14 am

As I read Crystal’s article I can feel the compassion and her love for God. The articles are full of inspiration

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Crystal McDowell March 8, 2013 at 9:49 am

Thank you for your words of encouragement. To God be the glory!

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Robert marion Grate March 8, 2013 at 8:06 am

Your message is just what I am looking for…My Gr.Daughter is just now in the process of leaving her 3rd relationship with her 3 sons..2 different fathers….one marriage..9yr old not marriedto father(who is a good dad) 4yr old and 3yr old..married to father..(not a very good dad..but his family are good to the gr.children (all 3)..the one she was with now has a 8yr old girl..who is unhappy with her fathers attention to a new woman moving in.4 1/2 months..She is very beautiful..(Too much) 29 yrs old..good job..very loving parents and 1 older sister, 1 younger brother, both very solid familes and one younger brother single, they all live in other states she is alone with her children, no other family live near her…both Gr.parents are in another state..we are all Christians…she is being helped by the ex husbands aunt at this time I have been very faithful with my guidence to her on e-mail..thank you for listening and for your very wonderful comments..God bless you Marion Grate.

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Crystal McDowell March 8, 2013 at 9:50 am

Dearest Marion…I pray an abundance of God’s grace, wisdom, and strength for your family. He is well able to do above and beyond what we ask. Stay close to your Savior for guidance. Thank you for sharing. My prayers are with you. God bless. Crystal

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Robert March 8, 2013 at 9:43 am

Excellent article Crystal,
Not only does it show the kind of man a Christian woman should look for, it is a checklist for husbands to see if they are truly living for the Lord. God bless you.
Yours in Christ,
Robert

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Crystal McDowell March 8, 2013 at 9:51 am

Amen Brother! I appreciate your kind words.
Crystal

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Pamela Rose Williams March 8, 2013 at 11:02 am

I am so encouraged by this article Crystal and I have shared it with my hubby because I believe it reinforces the advice that we offer in pre-marital Biblical counseling. I especially love how you encourage the ladies to examine themselves as well. Well done sis. God is glorified in this.

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Crystal McDowell March 9, 2013 at 9:38 am

You are blessed to have had marital counseling. It is my hope that many other women seek wise counsel before marriage. Thanks!

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Jack Wellman March 8, 2013 at 12:11 pm

Such biblical wisdom here my friend and many of these are very convicting since I fall far short of being a good and godly husband and must depend upon God’s help for I can do nothing to glorify God in my care and love for my beloved wife without His power.

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Crystal McDowell March 9, 2013 at 9:39 am

Amen! May every godly husband and wife seek His help to be who we are to be in Christ.

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Patricia Schneider March 8, 2013 at 5:33 pm

Insightful, wonderful article, Crystal!
My hubby, Gary, and I are so blessed to have ‘found’ each other! (Frankly, Crystal, I can’t believe God gave me such a endearing soul to share life with! Gary is soo good to me!)
We’ve both have grown in our love for God and each other.
Come this September 14, 2013 will be our 39th Wedding Anniversary! (We did separate for 4 yrs, but by The Holy Spirit’s Grace, got back together. Amen!) (We ‘count’ those 4 years ’cause we did remain friends, sorta knew we would be together again.)
Thank you for this article, Crystal!
God’s blessings for you and your family!
Your sister in Christ, Jesus….Patty

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Crystal McDowell March 9, 2013 at 9:40 am

Awesome testimony! I pray many couples find restoration and joy in their marriage as they seek the Lord.

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Scott March 8, 2013 at 8:07 pm

Where the role of a Christisn woman

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Angella March 9, 2013 at 8:33 am

God bless u Crystal,
Can we get ur articles in Africa we believe they will help many.
Is it possible?

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Crystal McDowell March 9, 2013 at 9:44 am

The character traits for finding a godly man and woman are primarily the same. The difference is that God calls husbands to be the spiritual leaders. A woman seeking to be married must spend much time in prayer before she allows herself to be so emotionally attached that she’s tempted to disregard wise counsel. Thanks so much for your question. God bless!

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Derek Hill March 9, 2013 at 9:19 pm

These are great reminders for all men. Great job Crystal! I needed to read this article for sure. God bless!

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Crystal McDowell March 10, 2013 at 11:27 pm

Hi Angella,
I don’t know how to answer your question, but I’m willing to help get articles to Africa if possible. Perhaps you have contacts with people there who can refer to this website? Let me know. Thanks!

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Crystal McDowell March 10, 2013 at 11:28 pm

Thanks Derek! Appreciate your comment.

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Sonje March 12, 2013 at 12:37 pm

Awesome—-on point!

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kasali Abubakar March 16, 2013 at 11:45 am

Thanks for that article, the issue of generosity is not totally in line with me. There are times when one facial appearance may not thesame with his purse. Expectation over him may be more than his power, which will be wrongly asumed stingy. I think the most important one is sincerity, which easily reflect in promses, utterances, agument and attitude. I pray that our young ones of nowadays will be able have patient looking out for those qualities before making choice. God bless you.

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Crystal McDowell March 21, 2013 at 10:16 pm

Thank you so much for sharing this vital point about generosity. We need balance in the body of Christ. A woman wants a husband who demonstrates responsibility and prudence as a good steward of Christ. Generosity is represented most in their giving to the building of God’s kingdom and to meeting the needs of others as the Lord gives increase.

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Akwanine May 8, 2013 at 8:11 am

It is very important to consider also hard work, many people are so committed to religious activity that they become so lazy about their lives and cannot feed their families anymore. God created man and gave him work first before he could give him a wife, so a man that is fulfilling his calling by working in his area of calling is a good quality to look up too. God bless you

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Crystal McDowell June 11, 2013 at 9:52 pm

Thank you Akwanine for your input. Yes…a hard-working man does much for the family unit. You are very correct. Thank you for your valuable response.

Crystal

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rainbow May 8, 2013 at 6:35 pm

I wish my daughter and husband are separated so sad… the key is wise counsel. my daughter could have benefited from it. He hurt her so bad.

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Crystal McDowell June 11, 2013 at 9:53 pm

My deepest apologies for your sorrow on their separation. I pray that God would comfort your heart and give you peace through this difficulty. God bless, Crystal

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victor ochonma June 10, 2013 at 7:48 am

Thank you crystal for that wonderful piece. It is so enriching and i pray God to give you more wisdom and understanding to reveal more…

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Crystal McDowell June 11, 2013 at 9:54 pm

Hi Victor,

Thanks so much for your words of encouragement!
God bless,
Crystal

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Justme November 4, 2013 at 6:38 pm

Thank you so much for this article. I have recently come out of a 3 year relationship and although both christians, I now recognise much more clearly the lack of many of these things in both our lives. I pray firstly that the Lord would make these characteristics grow me in, and that I would be blessed with a godly husband in the future who also strives for holiness. Thank you for giving me these points and scripture references to meditate on and pray over.

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