When God is Silent: Why Does God Not Seem To Be Answering My Prayer?

by Robert Driskell · Print Print · Email Email

If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!”  (Matthew 7:11).  This verse tells us that God is ready to answer our prayers and supply our needs.  So why are all our prayers not answered?  Why does it seem that God sometimes does not hear us?  What is going on when it seems like our prayers are not getting any higher than the ceiling?

Right Motives (James 4:3)

You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions” (James 4:3).  It is so important for the Christian to evaluate his or her life from time to time.  Are our motives pure?  Are we doing what we are doing for God’s glory, or our own?  James tells us here that we must ask with the right motives.  Sometimes we can ask for the right things, but for the wrong reasons.  This could be the reason our prayers are not being answered.

When God Is Silent

“And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him” (I John 5:14-15).

Not praying in the will of God (I John 5:14-15)

“And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.  And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him (I John 5:14-15).  It is so important to keep our relationship with God active and alive at all times.  When we do so, we are more resistant to the temptations we face every day, and our prayer life will be focused on the things that God wants them focused on.  Not only will we pray according to His will, we will structure our entire lives around Him.

Sin In Our Lives

“Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; and whatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him” (I John 3:21-22).  It is amazing that so many professing Christians live their lives as if God was no more than a genie in a bottle to them.  They willfully spend their time fulfilling their sinful desires and then pray to God when they want something from Him.  This is a recipe for disaster.  The Bible says that, “God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap” (Galatians 6:7).  It is only a matter of time before the person living this way comes under the judgment of God.

Even the Psalmist knew that God does not answer the prayers of one who is willfully sinning against Him.  “If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened” (Psalm 66:18).  Many times our prayers are not answered because we have unconfessed sin in our lives or we are still currently involved in some sin.  Sin must be confessed and repented of before we can expect our prayers to be heard.

Our Timing May Be Wrong

God may indeed answer our requests in the exact manner we have submitted them to Him, but the answers may not come according to our schedule.  God may even use delayed prayer to teach us patience.  Nothing teaches patience like waiting.

Our Prayers May Have Been Answered In A Way We Were Not Expecting and/or We Did Not Recognize

God sees the big picture; we only see a small portion of that picture.  We could actually be praying for something that would be harmful for us to get.  It should be seen as encouraging when God does not answer our prayers exactly as we want, in the time frame we expect.  This shows us that He is still in control and sovereignly overrides our expectations with His perfect will.

Praying In Jesus’ Name

“Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son (John 14:13-14, also John 15:16, 16:23-24; Matthew 7:7).  Too many people think that this means simply tacking the phrase, “In Jesus’ name” onto the end of their prayers.  This is a shallow way of interpreting this verse and is an affront to the holiness of God.  How can we think that simply by adding “In Jesus name” to the end of our prayer forces God into giving us what we want?

Apologist Dave Hunt writes, “For a prayer to be truly “in the name of Jesus,” it must be as He would express it if He were praying.  It must be for the furtherance of His interests and to His glory.  His name must be stamped on the character and engraved on the heart and life of the one praying “in His name.”  (Hunt, p. 191, emphasis his)

Therefore, not only must one be praying in the will of Jesus [God], but one must also be living according to God’s will.  An unholy life will not produce a holy prayer life.  Nor will it produce effective prayers.

Right Relationships Between Husband And Wife Contribute To Fruitful Prayer

For those who are married, even the relationship between a husband and wife affect the effectiveness of one’s prayer life.  In the Epistle of First Peter, the apostle Peter instructs wives to be subject to their husbands (vv. 3:1-6), and husbands to likewise honor their wives (v. 7).  The last phrase of verse seven says, “…so that your prayers may not be hindered”.  This is a testament to how precious the union between husband and wife is to God.  It is also very practical, since it is very difficult to keep your mind on the things of God when your married life is unsettled.

The Example of the Apostle Paul

Even the biblical saints were not immune from the occasional unanswered prayer.  The apostle Paul writes, in II Corinthians 12, that he had some sort of problem that was given him to keep him from becoming conceited.  Apparently, this ‘thorn in the flesh’ was something that Paul greatly wished to be rid of.  He writes, Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me.  But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.  For when I am weak, then I am strong” (II Corinthians 12:8-10).  Paul’s attitude is the attitude we should strive to exhibit.  An attitude that says that, even if it seems that God is not answering our prayers, we can be content knowing that He will not let us down.

Whether our prayers are answered to our satisfaction or not, we can always rest in the fact that God is in control.

Christians must keep in mind this promise from God, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).  We must trust God to know what is best for us and the situations for which we pray.  We can take comfort in knowing that He loves us enough to have sent His Son to die on a cross for our sins.

Take a look at these other similar type articles:


All Scripture is from the English Standard Version of the Holy Bible

“Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.”

Hunt, Dave.  In Defense of the Faith.  The Berean Call, 2009.

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{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }

Paul November 17, 2014 at 6:59 pm

No its okay, its a very good example and shows great understanding…..its like a scripture i was reading last week when i asked God to speak to me from Haggai chpt two….it reminded me of my conversion, when i got born again throught teenchallenege when i came of all those drugs and for the first time in my life knew what real love was, agape love, Gods love…this scripture really encouraged me…talks about working hard, not to fear, God is with me and the glory of the later house will be greater than the former….so the example of Job is confirmation, because after Job had suffered, God vblessed him again, and yess it may have been over a period of 22 years, but it started shortly after Jobs sufefering ended, and tomorrow, this week, this month, next month who knows what God has in store, as it says, However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived” — the things God has prepared for those who love him–

so i do know that nothing that happens in my/our lives is a surprise to God, he is all knowing, so its okay, bless you brother


Jack Wellman November 17, 2014 at 7:16 pm

You give me hope because of Who your hope is in Paul…Thank you …and you too my brother are such a blessing.


paul campbell November 24, 2014 at 3:02 pm

hi Jack this is a scripture that God keeps giving me
1 Sing, O barren, thou that didst not bear; break forth into singing, and cry aloud, thou that didst not travail with child: for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the LORD.

2 Enlarge the place of thy tent, and let them stretch forth the curtains of thine habitations: spare not, lengthen thy cords, and strengthen thy stakes;

3 For thou shalt break forth on the right hand and on the left; and thy seed shall inherit the Gentiles, and make the desolate cities to be inhabited.

4 Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded; for thou shalt not be put to shame: for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more.

5 For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.

6 For the LORD hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused, saith thy God.

7 For a small moment have I forsaken thee; but with great mercies will I gather thee.

8 In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the LORD thy Redeemer.

9 For this is as the waters of Noah unto me: for as I have sworn that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth; so have I sworn that I would not be wroth with thee, nor rebuke thee.

10 For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the LORD that hath mercy on thee.

11 O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted, behold, I will lay thy stones with fair colours, and lay thy foundations with sapphires.

12 And I will make thy windows of agates, and thy gates of carbuncles, and all thy borders of pleasant stones.

13 And all thy children shall be taught of the LORD; and great shall be the peace of thy children.

14 In righteousness shalt thou be established: thou shalt be far from oppression; for thou shalt not fear: and from terror; for it shall not come near thee.

15 Behold, they shall surely gather together, but not by me: whosoever shall gather together against thee shall fall for thy sake.

16 Behold, I have created the smith that bloweth the coals in the fire, and that bringeth forth an instrument for his work; and I have created the waster to destroy.

17 No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD.

i am now seeking Gods will, plan and purpose for my life and i am praying that the vision he gave me way back in 1985 when i was at teenchallenge will be restored and that God will open up doors for me to go to bible college and to learn to become a bible teacher,because that was his calling way back in 1985 when i was 20 years old and i am now 49 years old. Please pray that God will open up doors for me to fulfill his calling, plan and vision for my life, i gladly bow my knee and submit to his will.


Jack Wellman November 24, 2014 at 5:12 pm

Thank you Mr. Campbell and I deem it a privilege to pray for this cause brother. Your story sounds a lot like mine. Nevertheless, it is never too late. Next year, a close friend of mine and I are going to, God willing, begin a lower cost seminary to train pastors in remote parts of the world early next year…again, God will. This seminary will be offering an Associates and also a BA in Biblical Studies to train ministers/pastors to preach the gospel and teach their churches and to also evanglize wherever they live. I know the website owner, ministrymaker.com is presently working on this, yet, I will pray perhaps that God opens a door prior to this for brother…or that you can begin as an associates and do an interim or intern pastor which is what I did. May God open the door He deems best for you sir.


paul campbell November 24, 2014 at 5:15 pm

that sounds like a very good idea brother, will need to wait and see what God does, problem is i am impatient sometimes, but i know from experience that its good to wait upon the Lord and follow him …..and i will follow him….it would be good to come and study and work part time to support myself and pay for my costs

Rayanne November 26, 2014 at 6:12 am

I’m writing out of desperation. I am 47 with 2 kids ages 12 and 16. I divorced their alcoholic father 9 years ago. He has disappeared out of their lives (6 years ago) and has had no contact at all. My children deal with abandonment issues regularly.

I have been remarried for about 6 years. My husband is an evangelical Christian that is constantly preaching. I am a strong but more silent Christian. It came to my attention about 3 years ago that my husband is very seriously emotionally abusing my son. It began when he was 11 and just stopped last year.

When I found out the severity of it (constant name calling, berating, trying to leave him out of family events, ridicule, etc) I left with my children for about a month. During this time he BEGGED me to come back and promised it would never happen again. I came back, he apologized and stopped for about 2 weeks. It then continued for another 12 months. I was unaware that it was going on for again. During the time that he continued to abuse him (Despite us leaving and him promising to stop.) he and I prayed nightly for our household dynamics to improve WHILE continuing the abuse. I did not know he was still abusing him verbally during this time. When I found out I had to decide whether to stay or move out for good. After much consternation, I decided to stay. The abuse has stopped (its been 10 months) but their relationship is severely damaged, of course.

As I talk to my kids who deal with anxiety and depression from all of the turmoil I am having a hard time forgiving myself for choosing such terrible role models in terms of a father(s). I am also with the man who abused my son behind my back, lied about it, preaches Jesus and Christianity and has not done much to repair the relationship except stop the abuse. I am not sure how to deal with the severe betrayal and complete lack of trust.

I have prayed incessantly and daily this entire year and have fasted to focus on my prayers every other day this year. The situation has not improved much, I feel God telling me to stay but I am hysterical nearly every day and breaking down in anger and sadness constantly. I feel that I am close to a nervous breakdown worrying about my kids. I have NOT lost my faith, but am doubting my decision to stay in my 2nd marriage. Boy, I need help and prayer and will take any sound advice I can get. Thank you all and God bless.


Robert November 26, 2014 at 9:56 am

Hi Rachael,
It is sometimes difficult to “give advice” in a comment section such as this because of the distance that separates us (not physical or geographical distance per se, but the fact that those offering advice are outside of the situation: we only know what you’ve told us, we do not know those involved personally); however, I want to try anyway, because I believe it is what God wants me to do.

First, let me say that the situation you describe sounds heartbreaking. Our spouses are supposed to be the one we are closest to and we should be able to trust them with our lives. It is even more heartbreaking when these types of situations come about in the lives and homes of professing Christians. A Holy Spirit-filled Christian will not behave in a manner contrary to the love of God. Therefore, when we act in hurtful, selfish, arrogant, etc. ways, we are rejecting God’s will for our lives and following our own selfish lusts and desires. When we do this, problems arise in our lives and relationships.

I would suggest that you and your husband speak with your pastor. If you do not have a home church (pastor), I would suggest that you find a Bible-believing church that you can attend and confide in the pastor concerning your situation.

Concerning your inability to forgive yourself, consider this: If you have placed your faith in Jesus Christ and are living for Him, HE has forgiven you (of a lot more than just your relationship choices); therefore, you are forgiven…period…let it go. Jesus died on a cross so that your sins could be forgiven; His payment was sufficient to remove your sin and guilt.

Worst case scenario: your husband chooses to continue this abuse…you may have to make some tough choices. However, I say again, you need to confide in someone close to you, someone you can trust who knows the situation. There is always the danger of someone like me (who doesn’t know you or your family well) to give wrong, or even harmful, advice because we do not know you well enough. Please continue to pray, trust God, and seek counsel from someone you can trust near you. With God, all things are possible.

Yours in Christ,


Rayanne November 26, 2014 at 9:38 pm


I thank you so much for your insight and support. Just knowing that somebody read this and cares really did help me a lot.



TheTruth March 17, 2015 at 11:21 am

All i ever wanted from God was for him to have blessed me with a wife and family that i Don’t have, and to see so many others that have that really Hurts me a lot.


Robert March 18, 2015 at 7:25 am

Not knowing the details of your situation, I cannot give specific advice to you. What I can do is to reassure you that God loves you and, if He hasn’t given you what you want, then He has other plans for your life. Continue to trust Him, love and obey His Word, and know that He is, “…with you always, even to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20 NASB). God bless you.
Yours in Christ,


TheTruth March 28, 2015 at 8:29 am

Thank you very much for your support.


Matthew Angelo March 23, 2015 at 9:42 am

Good day, Jack(and to all my brothers and sisters out there)!

I am one of Christ’s followers here in the Philippines. My latest involment in church is in Children’s Ministry. I am one of teachers in charge to teach children to walk with God at a very young age. I have been a Christian for a very long time, and I plan to have this resolve in this lifetime.

I just have a little dilemma here(although I am not sure how little it is though). I have been praying to God to show His will in my life, but it seems like He intends to be silent in my life for now. I am really not sure because He does not show me the things He intends for my life. I can’t give exact details about it. But let us just say that circumstances are getting harder for me. And I expect it though, because I am aware that the moment that I decided to follow Him, my faith is really gonna be put to test. And this is what exactly is happening right now.

I am prepared for whatever life throws at me, because I know that he is not just my Lord. He is my friend, my defender, protector, provider, confidant, my shelter, my savior, my everything. It is just that He is not showing me the specific plans that He has for me right now. I don’t know if there is really something wrong with me, if my faith is not that strong, if there are things that He wanted me to do but I did not(and things that he did not want me to do but I did), if there are unconfessed sins in my life(which might be the major reason because I know that I still make mistakes), or He is just simply teaching me the mastery of waiting. Or the main reason might be neither one of these, because I really have no idea.

It is not that I am getting tired of waiting, because I know that He never got tired of showing me His ultimate love, and He never will. And I will never get tired of doing things for Him and with Him, with love. It is just that I really want Him to show me at least even a very simple, yet specific detail about His plans and promises for me. Because I know my goals in life, and He is the very author of these goals/dreams imprinted in my heart. And He wants me to enjoy these promises in His presence. It is just that I do not know where to start, because He does not tell me even a single detail about it. It feels like I know where my destination is, but I am in the middle of a very dark road, and I do not know how to get there. I have these ideas in my mind, but I am not sure if these are proportional with His will, because he doesn’t tell me.

But rest assurred that I won’t waiver in doing good for Him, and with Him, with love. There is no turning back because He has shown me His perfect love. I have full faith in Him that He is gonna see me through, no matter how dark the journey is to my own version of “heaven here on earth”. And I know that everything works for good for His children. My life is very established with the Rock to be shaken. I won’t stop praying. i will strive hard in doing good. I will try my best not to disappoint Him. I will patiently and wholeheartedly work for Him and with Him with love. I will not walk away from Him(not especially now). I am faithful to His promises and love, although that is not the main reason why I am walking with Him. Because I am looking forward to that very day that when I face Him, I will tell Him, with full conviction and joy, “Mission accomplished”.

I am really looking forward to know your take about my present situation, and your advice/piece of wisdom is truly appreciated. And I also hope to personally meet you, if you plan to visit our
country one of these days. I will be one of your friends here, if not the first.


Jack Wellman March 23, 2015 at 9:47 am

Thank you so much Mr. Angelo. Satan may be trying to hinder you because you are doing so much for the kingdom of God and the enemy hates that. Want to know what God’s will is in your life? Check this out my friend at this article that is about that very subject at this link: http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/how-to-find-gods-will-in-your-life/


Matthew Angelo March 23, 2015 at 10:04 am

I did not expect the quick reply. And thank you for taking time reading my piece of life. I really appreciate your effort. I have full faith that in his perfect time, He is gonna show me the best things He has in store for me. The desires of my heart might be little compared to what He really has for me. That is why I never lose faith in Him. I really want to be worthy of His unconditional love. That is my heart’s main resolve. And these spectacular things are His rewards for our faithfulness.

What a blessing this has been, to meet someone like you. Let us continue to share the same joy, strengthening one another, sharing each others’ burdens.

Just like what I said earlier, it would really be my joy to meet you in person, just in case you plan to visit the Philippines in the near future.


Jack Wellman March 23, 2015 at 10:16 am

I would love to go to the Philippines some day sir and may God richly bless your labor of love for His glory and richly bless you too Mr. Angelo. And your desire of your heart for what He has in store for you, let me also recommend this sir called How to Receive the Desires of Your Heart: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/christiancrier/2014/08/10/psalm-37-how-to-receive-the-desires-of-your-heart/ and a slightly different, shorter version at: http://jackwellman.blogspot.com/2010/07/receiving-desires-of-our-hearts.html


Matthew Angelo March 23, 2015 at 10:29 am

God is really working through you, my brother. I know that He is tapping your back as of this moment as you exhibit great wisdom. I will be checking this website on a regular basis from now on. And should that day come, the day that you’ll be visiting our country, I will take you to our church, and I want you to meet my brothers and sisters there. If you just want to.

Matthew Angelo March 23, 2015 at 10:50 am

By the way, I would prefer you call me Matthew. I should be the one to call you Sir but I did not because I feel that you really are my brother. Sorry for lacking courtesy.

Another thing, can I post my life’s testimonies here? Whether an answered prayer, additional task from God, an unexpected blessing, or His revelation about His true will for my life, I want everyone to know that it is indeed possible to live a holy life. He dos not want to torture us by setting lots of rules, but He offers life, at its fullest.

Mary April 18, 2015 at 10:40 am

Dear Robert,

I am a Christian lady who had been very close to God when I was in school. I had a disturbed childhood and felt very much neglected by my family. But soon god became my best friend and he was everything for me. I used to have constant conversation with god and could see how he had helped me in every step, very move i made. I was sure he would bless me with a good husband and a beautiful family. He did and I was leading a happy life with my family. However I would confess my closeness to god became lesser and lesser as I got involved in my busy life with kids and duties. But I would pray each night and would never let him go out of my life. My husband prospered in few years but I always kept telling that we are not doing anything for god, we are living a selfish life only thinking about our kids n family. Soon after I was about to give birth to my second son my husband lost his job. I went through a turmoil and kept crying for two months with my little baby and god blessed my husband with a job. However after 6 months of probation he has lost his job again. We are in a bad situation however it has not affected us as god has been helping us and paying for all the bills, good food I dont know how. But all the doors that get opened get closed soon after. We have realised what was lacking in our lifes and that we hv not anything for god. We have confessed all our sins to our priest and vowed to help the poor and needy and to lead a satisfying life as a true christian. However god doesnt seem to answer and we are awaiting desperately for gods blessing. Pls pray for us and help us stand by our faith.


Robert April 20, 2015 at 7:28 am

We will be praying for you, your family, and your situation. I believe the Bible teaches that it is a good thing to take care of your children and family, so don’t feel bad about that. One of the most difficult things we, as Christians, face is trusting God in the good times…it’s not difficult to trust Him because we hurt and cry out to Him. However, when everything seems to be going well, we sometimes take our eyes off of Him and focus on other things. Trust God…continue to pray, study His Word, and allow His Holy Spirit to guide you in all you do. He has a plan for your life…it may not be what you think it is, but you do not have to worry as long as you are dedicated to doing His will. God bless you.
Yours in Christ,


Jack Wellman April 20, 2015 at 9:50 am

Robert, I apologize for responding when I finally realized this was your fine work my brother. My intention was to sincerely help but sincerity doesn’t guarantee accuracy and your response my friend is so goo so again, please pardon my intrusion for responding and for some reason, I thought I was replying to Mary on my own article and for which, I am sorry and have a blessed week. Nonetheless, I will pray for you Mary and for you too Robert that God would richly bless you, your family, and your church home and music ministry for the Lord.


Robert April 20, 2015 at 10:28 am

You never need to apologize for doing what God leads you to do. Please feel free to respond as you feel led. I’m sure Mary is encouraged by multiple people offering up prayers on her behalf. Bless you, brother.
Yours in Christ,


Mary April 20, 2015 at 11:59 am

Thanks so much for your reply and prayers. I was eagerly waiting for your response and god showered me with encouraging messages from 2 people. Pls keep praying for my family and I hope very soon I will be giving my testimony here on gods unconditional love for his children. Thanks so much.

peter m August 7, 2015 at 2:01 am

It is true that a lot of people are disappointed with Jesus for not answering their prayers and HE has very good reason not to. Would you keep helping someone who keeps hurting you ? …well, most Christians have this stupid belief that they can get away with anything if only they go to church and pray regularly. Nothing can be farther from the truth. Any church telling you that our God is a loving God and will forgive and accept you just the way you are is lying…because that is not true. What is more important to Jesus is repentance and turning your back on sin. The bible clearly states that Jesus loved sinners because he came to bring them to repentance but he hated liars and hypocrites. When we ask Jesus for help, we often do it as a last resort…when everything else fails. Even then, we expect it to be a one way street…HE gives and we take. Now if only it were so easy, we would be living in a perfect world. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. In order to receive, we need to give something in return. We need to look deeper into our own lives and change what we know is wrong in God’s sight. It’s not possible to be perfect and Jesus does not expect a score of 10/10 from us. But there are so many things that are wrong and immoral that we can change as well as so much of good that we can do but don’t. So the next time you pray, remember that it a two way street. You change your life for HIM and he will keep his side of the deal. Just praying without meaning it or making a path for HIM to enter into your life is like shouting in an empty cave….all you will hear is your own echo.

peter m


Paul September 12, 2015 at 1:37 pm

Why didn’t God give me a wife and family that he gave to so many others? When i was young at the time growing up i always thought that i was going to have a wife and family which i still Don’t have today. Go figure.


Jack Wellman September 12, 2015 at 3:01 pm

Hello Paul. I am so sorry for your lonliness. What is your age sir? Maybe you can request an prayer of “unspoken needs” to your church and I will to others and so on. I know I read a saying once that “God will birth your ministry in your greatest suffering.” Not sure if that helps my brother.


RealTruth September 26, 2015 at 2:09 pm

And all i ever wanted from God was to meet a good woman to have a family with which today i am still alone, and to see so many others that have been blessed with that gift really hurts more.


Robert September 28, 2015 at 12:46 pm

I am sorry to hear that you do not feel that you have what you want so bad; however, let me share a few thoughts if I might. Now, keep in mind that I do not know you or your situation personally. The things I am sharing with you are general things for you to consider.

God will not create in us a desire that He does not wish us to have; therefore, some of the things to consider would be:
(1) Am I surrendered to God’s will or do I simply want God to give me what I want?
(2) Am I more concerned with what God wants me to do with my life than what I want?
(3) Do I have any sin in my life that I have not repented of?

Too often, we decide what we want and then think that God should give it to us. Instead, we need to find out what God wants us to do with our lives and then do that. Our lives will always be disjointed and rough when we are trying to do our will instead of His.

On the other hand, if God’s will for your life is that you find someone to marry, you need to continue to patiently trust Him to lead the right person to you at the right time. He will never let you down.

I hope this helps. Know that I, along with others from this site, will be praying for you. You can trust God with everything.

Yours in Christ,


Antoine S Finch June 4, 2016 at 3:57 pm

so in order for god to help you you have to ask according to his will so if he has no will to help you ,you are praying in vain?
it seems all i hear is its your fault that god does answer your prayer? you ask for the wrong reason? you ask out side of god will? the bible says if we know how to give our children good then how much more god will?

if my children was in need or trouble and i had the power that i have been told for the 57 years of my life that god has?

first i would not let trouble ever come against them? i would never let them get in a position of need in the first place?

i have notice in the last 3 years of my 57 yrs being here all you get is as a answer for prayers is that its something you failed to do why your prayers aren’t answered?

even if my children was wrong or messed up i would do anything i had to in preventing them from suffering or having any problem from their actions?
but with god you always explain no help from god with some excuse, its not his will? your faith was weak? in time if you truly believe it will come to pass?

always an excuse ?


Goerge October 1, 2016 at 1:17 pm

It’s not a matter of when God is silent; God is always silent. We’re left to interpret that silence as “no”, or “wait” or, when things work out, as “yes”. In the case of the first two, we then move on to coming up with explanations as to why.


Many Of Us Good Single Men Still Waiting April 7, 2017 at 12:32 pm

What would God say about the very horrible women which most of them are unfortunately these days? There are many of us good single men still available that can treat a good woman with a lot of love and respect if only they would give us a chance since many women today like sleeping around with so many different kinds of men all the time instead of just being with only one man which makes them so very pathetic altogether now. And i really think that God would certainly not approve of that since many of us good innocent men don’t sleep around with all different kinds of women since we really are just hoping to meet just one good one to make us very happy.


Jack Wellman April 7, 2017 at 1:14 pm

Hello friend, and yes, it is hard to find good women but the same is true of men, and incidentally, the Bible says that none of us are good…not even one (Rom 3:10-12)! That leaves zero “good people” on this earth, but we cannot classify “women” as meaning “all women” because this is not true of single women I know in our church. I pray you find a good soul mate but finding anyone “good” in the strictest sense is not possible because only God is good.


Bob March 18, 2018 at 8:14 am

Frankly no man knows why. Men will provide scripture but always omit thise of wrath, anger, punishment! Are these not scripture as well! We are,all sinners si we can never be worthy no matter what we do!” Did not Job find this out! So fear of God leads to wisdom tgat if you disobey you WILL suffer and suffering and trials will always follow the believer! Pray yes but pray to glorify God, praise Him – God already knows your needs and if HE desires to lift them HE WILL AND ONLY HE!


Kenneth Gray October 16, 2021 at 7:51 pm

Seasons of silence. What are people talking about? A season implies that it is temporary. On and off. My experience with God is only silence. No season. God has been silent my entire life. As far as I can tell/see God has never communicated with me, in any way. I gave myself to God through Jesus over 40 years ago. Nothing but silence from God in over 40 years. That isn’t a season, that’s a life sentence.

God bless you, in Jesus holy name, Amen.


Jack Wellman October 16, 2021 at 7:59 pm

God is not silent as He speaks through His Word through teachers and pastors who exposit, verse by verse preaching. Has God not ever answered even one prayer? What about the one where you prayed to be saved? He answered that one, didn’t He?


Jack Wellman November 24, 2014 at 5:21 pm

Amen brother. I hope it is a good idea because many men of God like you simply cannot afford normal tuition. I did my graduate work at Moody Theological Seminary and it is average price seminary in the U.S. and it is $1,554.00 per 3 credit hours which is one course! Ouch! Not sure how I got thru it…, no I do know. God! I am still a bi-vocational pastor sir and feel your pain.


paul campbell November 24, 2014 at 6:31 pm

yes i know brother, but i also believe that God who calls also provides and equips, i am very willing to work anywhere, lots of experience in jobs, done lots of things, spent nearly 20 years working in call centers doing everything from sales/distribution/logistics/trouble shooting/technical support and facilities management, also worked as a cook, worked in factories, even been a picture framer and have made furniture and worked making shoes…anyway i know Paul was a tent maker and maybe Peter still fished to support himself and Jesus was a carpenter…its good to work and to be called and to use our own skills to earn money to grow the kingdom of God and to see people come into relationship with him, so its okay. Anyway i am blessed by your encouragement.


Jack Wellman March 23, 2015 at 11:06 am

Thank you Matthew. You don’t have to call me sir either. You can call me Jack or pastor or pastor Jack or whatever and yes, we are brothers in Christ. As for your testimonies, do feel free Matthew to post them because they may benefit and edify and encourage others…including me!


Matthew Angelo March 24, 2015 at 7:22 am

Hello, Pastor Jack.

I just want to share with you (and with everyone as well) my experience earlier, as I was praying. Inevitably, God never let me down, as He poured down His very presence on me. His love, once again, brought me down to tears. His love is truly brand new every single day. So is His grace and forgiveness. His joy truly boosted my strength and strong will to face another day.

I just need your insight, once again. Because while I was praying, a sudden thought came into my mind. This thought told me that if I would know the answer why I still don’t have the answers to my questions, it will/might hurt me. So better not to know this for now. Do you think it was God who directly told me to patiently wait for the answers to all of my questions? Is the reason that suddenly came into my mind valid?

If that were true, that is okay with me. Just like what I said, I am willing and obedient to work while waiting. Whatever tasks He is gonna give me, I will do, with love, not just because I have to. But I am still gonna keep on asking Him. I will keep on talking to Him like my very own best friend. For I know that He talks. He speaks. And He really wants to have a flourishing conversation with me every day.

Thank you again for your heavenly insights. God really works for good for all of us.


Robert March 24, 2015 at 9:22 am

Hello Matthew,

I am certainly happy to hear that God is meeting you where you need Him most. His grace is always enough. We simply need to trust Him and be patient.

You asked: “Do you think it was God who directly told me to patiently wait for the answers to all of my questions? Is the reason that suddenly came into my mind valid?” God may very well have spoken directly to your heart, Matthew, that would not violate anything Scriptural that I have seen. God never promised to tell us everything we want to know; however, He did promise that He would be with us every step of the way.

You also said, “Just like what I said, I am willing and obedient to work while waiting. Whatever tasks He is gonna give me, I will do, with love, not just because I have to.” I don’t know your specific situation (or even if what I’m about to say applies to you), but many people are overly concerned with what God has in store for their future while not realizing that He may want you right where you are, doing exactly what you are doing. We all aren’t called to be Billy Grahams or to pastor a mega church somewhere; God uses each one of us in the way He wants to use us, and everything we do is important in His kingdom when we are doing what He wants us to do. Remember, there may be someone you can reach for God that no one else can reach.

Of course, it’s not wrong for you to continue to ask Him what His plans are for your life; but, keep doing what you are doing wherever you are and you will be glorifying Him as you do it.

I hope this helps. God bless you, Matthew (it sounds like He is).

Yours in Christ,


Matthew Angelo March 24, 2015 at 9:43 am

Thank you, Pastor Robert. Your answer really hepls me. I can’t deny that negative thoughts were (and still are) bombarding me to question His sovereignity over me. But I know His promises, and His love is always sufficient for me. And I am not complaining why I am in this situation, and I do not question His will about His silence. Instead, His silence makes me more eager to talk to Him, work for Him, and walk with Him. And I am using every opportunity He gives me to glorify Him. Because I personally know that the tougher my circumstances are, the stronger He holds me tight. I know that I am not as great as the other men and women of faith, but I hold on to His love; His love that is gonna see me through. Because I know that at the end of it all, His promises will just strike me. It’s not that I am really after that. But it’s just really His character. And I have learned to sing praises wholeheartedly in the midst of my trials. This thing that I was not able to do before. It is really possible to rejoice in spite of troubles, for He is faithful enough to His children. I want to be a living proof of that.

I am very privileged with the fact that I am one of His apprentices. And I agree with you that there are things that He wants me to do that only I can accomplish: through His power, nevertheless.

Thank you for taking time in reading my piece of story here. You are a real blessing to me. And if God wants us to meet someday, it is my great pleasure.


perla August 30, 2015 at 5:31 pm

I can’t understand why my life has been nothing but bad after bad after bad. I follow God to the best of my ability. I read the bible, pray for myself and others, I try to help to the best of my ability, and I believe in the word to the highest regard, but I’ve always suffered in life. My life has gotten worse as the years have gone on and remind you I’m almost 50 years old now. This isn’t normal for someone to go through this their whole lives. I wonder is it because my parent has done with craft her whole entire life. I know she dislikes me very much. Do you think she put a hex on me? What do you think I should do? I’m so very tired of suffering. I need help and I need it soon!


Jack Wellman August 30, 2015 at 6:40 pm

I am so very sorry Perla. No, I don’t think people can put jinxes on people at all. I would like you to read the story of Job with commentary at this link: http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/job-bible-story-summary-with-lesson/ to see if it can give you some answers. I know it must be hard to bear but perhaps think of Christ’s return being very soon. Don’t quit or give up friend. I will pray for you.


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