Let’s Not Forget Single People, Widows and Widowers During the Holidays

The holidays are great times for families to get together, but let’s not forget about the single people, widows, widowers, those in rest homes and in prison

Holiday Heartbreak

The holidays are great times for families to get together, but let’s not forget about the single people, widows, widowers, those in rest homes and in prison. For those of us who have family, it’s easy to forget those we know who are often alone during the holidays. To singles and widows, holidays can be one of the most difficult struggles in their lives. We were created for fellowship, but when death or divorce takes someone we love away, the holiday memories are like knives in the heart. It hurts and it hurts deeply. That’s why believers must take note of those who are traveling the hard road of singleness or widowhood in and out of the church.

True Religion

For those who spend holidays alone, it can be the most crushing of experiences, but we can intervene and invite single people to our own Christmas dinner or other occasion. Reach out to someone who is lives alone or is single or widowed. Invite them into your lives, not just into your house. You can make a huge difference in their lives by not going it alone and showing that there are others who care about them and love them. James said it: “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world” (James 1:26). Visiting orphans and widows during their afflictions (during their exceedingly difficult trials) is what pure and undefiled religion is all about. “Weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice” (Rom 12:15; Gal 6:2) because a joy shared is doubled, but a grief shared is halved.

How many of the residents in a nursing home are orphans and widows? Almost all of them!

Singleness

Most of us have family and friends that we spend time together during the holidays, however the single person is often overlooked, even more than the widowed. Even if they are invited, it is difficult for them, often feeling like a 5th wheel and the question they’ve heard a thousand times: “Why aren’t you married or why are you still single.” These questions are so unkind and feel like personal attacks to the single person. There is also the pain of being the only single person at holiday events. We must mention the many single parents who are often overlooked too. I know many who suffer through their years of singleness, and their being single is not by their own choice but sometimes it is. Why not make a conscience effort this year to include a single person or single parent in your family plans, holidays.

A Call to Singleness?

The Lord embraces the Christian single mother with His incredible and gracious love.

The Apostle Paul addresses the singles and widows in the church and says, “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Cor 7:8-9). Why would Paul want them to remain single? He says, “I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord” (1 Cor 7:32), however, “the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided” (1 Cor 7:33-34a). That is, God can use a single person or widowed person more easily than one that has family affairs to contend with. God has not called all to singleness and we have no right asking someone why they’re not married. It’s none of our business; it’s between them and God alone.

Not Alone

I was single for a long time and yearned to be married and have children and raise a family, but I had to wait…and wait, and that wait was exceedingly difficult at times, so when it becomes too much for you to bear, remember that Martin Luther was right…“With God, one is a majority.” Even though you may feel alone, “it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you” (Deut 31:6b). Rest assured in His Word that “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). One single mother had a favorite verse when she was really depressed in Isaiah 54:5-6 which says, “For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called. For the LORD has called you like a wife deserted and grieved in spirit, like a wife of youth when she is cast off, says your God.” Even though this was about Israel, assuredly God will not cast off His very own children (John 10:28-29).

Feel the presence of the Lord today and talk with him when you feel alone or in a desolate place.

Faithfulness

Most single parents and single people on the surface appear to be doing fine, but in their hearts, there is a deep, abiding “aloneness.” I pray they would remember that the Lord God is “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling” (Psalm 68:5). It may feel like all have forsaken you, like the psalmist who wrote, “For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the LORD will take me in” (Psalm 27:10). The Lord, in speaking to Israel, but with similar application for us, asks, “Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you” (Isaiah 49:15). He will not forget you, even if others do. The biblical truth is that God’s faithfulness extends to the grave. The psalmist joyfully and confidently says, “I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread” (Psalm 37:25). As Jesus said to His disciples, so He says to you, “behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matt 28:20b). May we also include single people in our plans…even “to the end of [our] age.”

Reach Out

Do you know someone who’s single? Maybe it’s a single parent you work with who struggles during the holidays, so please don’t overlook them. We might assume that the single people we know already have family nearby or have made other plans for the holidays, however that might not be the case at all. Rarely will a single person invite themselves or ask for an invitation to a family holiday celebration, so this means, we must make the first move like God did for us (1 John 4:19). Make sure to include them in your plans this Christmas or New Year’s, or whatever else you have planned this year like graduation parties, anniversaries, birthday celebrations, or just about any other major life event there is. Many singles might be thinking that life has passed them by, so don’t forget them…reach out to the single person and/or the single parent today during the holidays.

Conclusion

I pray you have put your trust in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. If that has not happened yet, my friend, you are in real danger of hell fire. And I mean, in immediate danger. You’re one breath, one heartbeat…one accident away from eternity when it will be too late to repent. Today is the best day to believe (2 Cor 6:2) since tomorrow is no guarantee. If Jesus Christ came today, here is your fate (Matt 7:21-23). This is why I plead with you as you read this, repent today…and I mean right now. Put your trust in Jesus Christ. If you do not, you will face God’s judgment after death guaranteed (Heb 9:27) or at Jesus Christ’s appearance (Rev 20:12-15), which could happen at any moment.

Here is some related reading for you: Great Examples of Singleness in the Bible

Resource – Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version^® (ESV^®), Crossway Bibles. (2007). ESV: Study Bible: English standard version. Wheaton, Ill: Crossway Bibles. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Tagged as: Holidays, Holidays and Singles, singleness, Singles