Is The Idea Of Having A Soul Mate Biblical?

by Jack Wellman · Print Print · Email Email

Is the idea of having a soul mate biblical?  Are there Bible verses that speak about such a thing?

Friends Souls Knitted Together

Do you have a very special friend that is like no other in your life?  Maybe it’s your spouse.  Possibly it’s a childhood friend or someone in your church that you can tell anything to without ever having to worry about them sharing it with anyone else.  David and Jonathan were such friends that it was said that their souls were knitted together (1 Sam 18:1).  The Greek word used for “knitted” or “knit” is “qashar” and means “to tie, to bind together” or “to league together” and this is exactly the kind of relationship that David and Jonathan had with one another.  Jonathan was King Saul’s son and he helped David several times when Saul was trying to kill David so the idea that friends can have their souls bound or tied to one another is biblical but what about soul mates?  Does the Bible say such a thing about a relationship between a man and a woman?

Is The Idea Of Having A Soul Mate Biblical

The Word for Soul

The word used in the Bible for soul is “nephesh” and means “life” or “creature” as when God created man in the Book of Genesis when it was said that He created man a living soul or nephesh in the Hebrew.  In the New Testament, specifically in Matthew 20:28 Jesus talks about fearing God Who can cast both body and soul into hell and Jesus used the Greek word “psyche” for soul and means, like in the Old Testament, “breath” or “the breath of life” so the word for soul in both the Old and the New Testament essentially mean a living, breathing creature or human being.  It should be noted that the Greek word “psyche” is the same word used for the mental capacity that a person has or their psyche.  The Old Testament even says that “the soul that sins, it shall die” (Ezk 18:4). So now that we have an understanding what the word soul means, we’ll move on a bit later to see if the idea of having a soul mate is biblical or not.

What does being Unequally Yoked Mean?

Paul clearly writes that believers are not to be unequally yoked together with unbelievers in 2 Corinthians 6:14 “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” This can apply to relationships between men and women and between men and men as well as women and women.  This doesn’t mean that Christians can’t have friendships with non-believers but it does mean that these relationships should not be the closest ones we have.  No believer should ever marry a non-believer nor should our souls be knit together with someone who is not a fellow believer.  Again, we can have friends that are non-believers, but we shouldn’t be “knit together” like the word insinuates…souls that are knitted together like threads in clothing are.  This is because, as the Hebrew word means, it is wrong “to bind together” or “to league together” with unbelievers.  We are to live in the world but not be part of the world and if our best friend or our potential mate is an unbeliever, how can light have fellowship with darkness?   Having said that, if a believer is married to an unbeliever, they are not to leave or divorce their spouse just because they’re not saved as Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11; “the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.”  Here is why; “how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife” (1 Cor 7:26).

Are There Soul Mates?

I cannot find the idea or factual verses that each man or woman has a soul mate or that God has destined a specific woman or man to be their spouce but there are exceptions.  That doesn’t mean that God doesn’t know who we will marry or who He knew we’d marry, if we’re already married.  God is sovereign and is omniscient and knows our future meaning He knows everything about it.  The Bible reveals that it was no accident that certain men and women ended up marrying one another.  Men and women like Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel, Ruth and Boaz, and even Queen Ester and the king were all meant for each other.  Their souls were knit together as described in the relationship between David and Jonathan.  David and Jonathan had such a close relationship that it was perhaps even closer than one in which a man and a woman marry as when “Jonathan made David swear again by his love for him, for he loved him as he loved his own soul” (1 Sam 20:17).

Men and women can be soul mates, there is no doubt about that, because I became friends with my wife before we married and I ended up marrying my best friend and I believe our souls are knit together and that we are soul mates right now.  Are there soul mates mentioned in the Bible between men and women?  No, it doesn’t say that specifically but that idea does appear throughout the Bible as in the case where God joined Adam and Eve together and they were literally made for one other.

The Sovereignty of God

Since God is sovereign and nothing happens outside of the will of God then the person we marry must also be part of the will of God.  Yes, we have freewill but I believe our choices do not ever surprise God.   We might not marry the person who is most compatible with us but every marriage has difficulties because any time you put two sinners together there’ll be friction.  Some might believe they married the wrong person because the person they married might have deceived them into believing that they are a different person than they really are but God can even use evil for good (Gen 50:20) and everything that we go through in life works out for our good in the end (Rom 8:28).


If we are still single, we might like to believe that God has a specific soul mate for us.  I cannot understand how a sovereign God works all things out for our good, including the evil that happens, and how He knows the future (Rom 8:29-30) while still allowing us to have free will (John 3:16).  I have no idea how these two work together; I just know that they are both true.  I don’t have to reconcile them both because He is God and I trust Him.  If I don’t understand it all, and I surely don’t, then it’s not God’s fault…it is my finite mind’s incapability to understand the infinite mind of God.  It’s like expecting an ant to sit in the cockpit of a jumbo jet and expect him to fly it.  That is why He is God.  If I could completely understand Him, then He wouldn’t be God.

Read this article about relationships, also by Jack: Should Christians Have Non Christian Friends?

Resource – Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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