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Tony Reese July 16, 2014 at 12:25 pm

Very good article, brother Wellman. I’m so glad you talked on counseling before marriage. We don’t have enough sit down and talk it out Biblically times. As a man who, unfortunately, was divorced, as was my wife, we did receive counselling from my great uncle who was the minister who married us eventually. I think all dating age young men and women should also be taught by godly teachers dos and don’t about godly relationships that may lead to marriage. I just wish I was not backsliden (sp?) and had some godly counsel going into the situation that was my first marriage. It would have saved a lot of people a lot of heartaches and headaches.

Jack Wellman July 16, 2014 at 6:19 pm

Amen Mr. Reese. Counseling could have avoided many bad marriages and prevented many divorces. It is not done much anymore. God hates divorce but He loves divorced people. I think no marriage is always preferable to a bad marriage. Thank you for the encouragement my friend. I agree that all dating men and women should have a mentor and undergo Christian counseling. Please do come back again sir.

Jack H July 21, 2014 at 2:37 am

Hi, Pastor Jack! 😀 Again, you make good points. No man or woman is perfect, and that statement alone destroys the soulmate theory. Marriage is a wonderful thing, but with great power comes great responsibility. My opinion is that if somebody cannot bear to share their life with another for 40 years, then they shouldn’t marry at all. I once looked at this verse in the Bible, and it was quite interesting. It was 1 Corinthians 7:9. And even though it was written by Paul, it makes a very interesting statement. “For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” I myself tend to “burn with passion”, but I’ve succeeded at controlling it so far, thanks to the Holy Spirit’s encouragement. 🙂 As for marriage, I intend to make my moves and wait. Now I watched a song called Hellfire. It’s about this priest called Frollo (from the Hunchback of Notre Dame), that is singing about his newfound sexual desires for a gypsy girl. This is detrimental to him in many ways because 1: he took a celibacy vow, 2: he’s racist to Gypsies, despite falling in love with one of them, 3: he cannot control his lust. You know what interests me? That kind of person could easily exist in real life, and we may be blissfully unaware. Anyhow, time to take my leave. God bless you, dear Pastor! 😉

Jack Wellman July 21, 2014 at 6:50 am

Hello again Jack. So good to hear from you my friend. You are on the mark about whether a person should marry or not and if they are not willing to count the cost and then pay the price, it is better that they not marry. The Holy Spirit, I sense, has His way in your life Jack and you are such a strong example of a believer that is being led by the Spirit. Amen…there are many Frollo’s out there and only by the grace of God are we not him!

Jack H July 22, 2014 at 12:54 pm

Oh also, I have a question. King David kidnapped “took” Bathsheba using his messengers, did he not? Why, why, did that poor woman never try to resist? Was she blackmailed? Afraid? Or wasn’t she bothered about being an adulteress?

Jack Wellman July 22, 2014 at 1:00 pm

Thanks Jack. Great question. Traditional biblical scholarship holds that Bathsheba couldn’t have been ignorant of her home’s proximity to the palace, given that David was close enough that he could see her taking a bath outside. What’s more, Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah, had left her to go fight for David.

Some contend that Bathsheba was a victim of David — after all, who can say no to a king? — other scholars find a clue to Bathsheba’s complicity among King David’s wives in 2 Samuel 4:11. This verse says unequivocally that when David sent messengers to fetch her, she came back with them. She wasn’t coerced, nor did she use any of the many excuses she could have for not seeing another man, even a king, while her husband was away. Instead, she went to David of her own free will, and thus bears some responsibility for what happened afterward.

Even if Bathsheba had decided to seduce King David, scriptures deem David’s sin in their affair to be greater for two reasons. Once he found out Bathsheba’s identity, he knew that she was married and he had sent her husband off to war.

Clearly a liaison with her would violate the seventh commandment against adultery, and a king of Israel was supposed to be a religious leader as well as a political leader. There is no evidence that David kidnapped her, or the Bible would have indicated this was part of his sin because kidnapping was punishable by death under the law and nothing is said of this. David does bear the greatest responsibility though, no doubt.

Jack H July 22, 2014 at 1:19 pm

Again, thanks. I tend to accidentally take words out of context on a few occasions. Wow… All this time I had seen Bathsheba as a poor victim of a voyeuristic royal pervert… but it seems she CHOSE to commit adultery O_O If Uriah had found out, he most certainly wouldn’t have been happy

Jack H July 21, 2014 at 7:03 am

Thank you Pastor Jack, at compliments, wisdom and comfort I believe those are your spiritual gifts. 😀

Christel August 24, 2014 at 6:42 am

Hi Pastor Jack,

AmAzing article. God bless you. Thank you for enlightening us.

Jack Wellman August 24, 2014 at 8:38 am

Thank you so much for your kind words Christel. I appreciate that and thank you for your blessing and may God likewise richly bless you and yours.

ninette August 26, 2014 at 7:51 am

Hello Jack,
I am dating a guy who was i strong believer. His commitment to the things of God got me committed to God and I am now a deaconess in our church. I dated this guy and we are now preparing to get married and he is falling, he no more committed to the things of God his life style has changed and i have tried all i could to get him back on track all to no avail.
Please i need your advice cos i love this guy, we both love each other and wants to settle down.

Jack Wellman August 26, 2014 at 11:47 am

Hello Ninette and thank you for your comment and question. This man has some serious red flags going off in my mind. The very fact that your commenting and have great concern shows me that the Spirit of God is telling you something is terribly wrong. Have you spoken with your pastor about this? Call him today. Don’t put this off. You may be headed for serious trouble. If this man has fallen back now, how much worse might it be after you are married and then you are bound to him for life and will have no way out. No marriage is better than a bad one and this sounds serious to me. I would not get married right now. He may be a false convert and only want to marry you for your beauty or for sex only. I hate to sound so harsh but I want to spare you enormous heartache and grief from which, if you marry him, there will be no escape. Love is not enough to keep a marriage together. We are not to be unequally yoked and this man doesn’t sound like he’s a true convert. It could get even worse after marriage, which is often the case in most of these circumstances. Call your pastor, don’t marry him yet, seek godly advice. Go to counseling with the pastor together. There are too many warning flags that I see here.

ninette August 28, 2014 at 4:44 am

hello Jack,

Thanks so much for the advice. I have spoken to my pastor about the guys behavior and he is personally aware of his fall and he has called him several times to talk to him about it, even his close friends in the church. Every body in the church is so much concern about him and they always ask of him from me anytime they don’t see him in church.

I am so worried and this has made me think of pulling out of the relationship but i am finding it difficult to. We have gone for marriage forms from our head office and every body at the district level knows that we would be getting married soon.

I really need some help in this. I am so confused.

I hope to hear from you soon.



Jack Wellman August 28, 2014 at 8:09 am

Thank you again Ninette. I know you are confused right now and you wrote earlier that you love him but you must love God above everyone else and make a choice. To risk marrying this man and him either not being truly saved or having someone who is going to make it a very hard marriage and once you are married, you are stuck with him, good or bad, until death and he could get even much, much worse after marriage. I would not care if you already have the marriage forms. No marriage is worse than a nightmare marriage, please believe me.

ninette August 29, 2014 at 6:37 am

Thanks so much Jack for the advice and thanks so much for being there for me.
God bless u

Jack Wellman August 28, 2014 at 9:09 am

Ninette, please forgive me. My last line should have been “No marriage is better than having a nightmare marriage, please believe me.” I apologize for the way I worded it.

Jack Wellman August 28, 2014 at 9:51 am

One more time…and I think I got it right this time: Ninette, please forgive me. My last line should have been “No marriage is better than having a nightmare marriage.” Sorry once more.

V January 22, 2015 at 8:52 pm

Who are you people to cast blame on David’s sins for David’s sins this or that when you do the same? Jesus taught us in the New Testament the same lesson over Mary Magdalene’s sins. And yes its nice to understand the ways of my God but its another to be ensnared by yours sins. So its best not to judge.

V January 22, 2015 at 8:53 pm

I do like this discussion thanks Pastor Jack .

Rick September 16, 2016 at 11:02 am

While the scripture does indicate one flesh, it does not indicate one soul. The flesh will disappear upon our deaths while the soul goes on living. Jesus states that no one will be married in heaven.

Jack Wellman July 22, 2014 at 1:30 pm

True Jack, but clearly, David is the one most at fault here. Certainly you are right about Uriah.

Jack H July 22, 2014 at 2:15 pm

Yes, and I know David is the one most at fault, Pastor. You don’t have to repeat yourself, I shall always understand you once! 😀

Jack H July 22, 2014 at 3:33 pm

I agree with you too, David did most of the evil stuff. What kind of rational person would kill somebody over a secret that he wants to keep? That’s the burning question this evening. (its 9:30 here in england)

Jack Wellman July 22, 2014 at 7:46 pm

Rationale is out the window when sin is covered up. It took Nathan the prophet to shown him his need to repent. Sorry so late in answering this…just home from work. The way that passion works seems to override logic at times…we are fallen but thank God for His Son’s death to restore us to a right relationship to God.

Jack H July 23, 2014 at 4:43 pm

Yeah, it seems instantaneous unchecked lust can blind almost anyone to anything, and it is good that the Holy Spirit tries to guide us in the right direction! 😀 And it’s OK, better late than never. It was very nice of God to forgive David’s sin, I must admit.

DocReits July 26, 2014 at 9:05 pm

Hi Jack H,

Interesting discussion. You write: “It was very nice of God to forgive David’s sin, I must admit.”

You are correct that God forgave David in that David did not have to pay for his sin with his life. God also allowed Bathsheba to remain his wife, which I always thought of interest(another topic).

God certainly punished David, though, through the death of his and Bathsheba’s child and the incestuous fornication between his son, Absalom, with David’s wives.

I thought it strange “justice” of God to have David’s wives violated on the roof of David’s palace, as David’s sin began looking at Bathsheba on the roof of her home.

” “This is what the Lord says: ‘Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity on you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will sleep with your wives in broad daylight. 12 You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel.’””(2 Sam 12:11,12)

So I agree with you, that God forgave David, but at quite a price.



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