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Lindsay June 9, 2018 at 8:58 pm

This is all very new to me; I am completely ignorant in perhaps what is the most curious and powerful subject of all. I just wasn’t raised with parents who felt that learning the Bible or attending church more than once a year for Christmas Mass, was detrimentally important for me and my sister’s well-rounded growth. At the same time, there’s always been this part of me – an inner knowing – since I was 5 years old that at that time, God had “checked in” with me, asking if I was dedicated to the life He was asking me to live. I have never forgotten it, and my confidence in what I experienced had never faultered. At that young age, and even as I recall it now, I immediately understood and whole-heartedly accepted “that way of life” – it was exactly the same feeling as being in conversation with someone and even though they may not have said more than a couple words, and without any conscious thought, you become aware of their understanding or the feeling they’re trying to convey to you. Intuition…? Collective Consciousness…?
Basically, God didn’t have to ask… I knew somehow that my soul was already in complete agreement – even though, truth be told, especially at that age, I assure you I didn’t have any relationship with God because He was that important to me. I don’t know how I even would’ve known who God ‘was.’ On that day, I just knew something was being asked of me and I knew it was important. I took my “job” so seriously that it became the very fibers of my being; I didn’t consciously think about it again until my early 20’s but on that day, I just understood that I had to live my life ‘good enough for God.’
That was how I received it and how I understood it for so long. Many years later I think I may have disclosed that memory and my understanding of it, to my sister… If I recall correctly, it would’ve been around the time I was 22-24. After sharing that with her, I unconsciously and involuntarily stated outloud: “The world’s going to know my name.” It was so strange.
I constantly battle all the time in my head with blaming whatever Higher Power there is for the truly NEVER ENDING [censored] I feel like I always have to put up with. Had I not lived my life, I would NEVER believe a aingle person who described all the hardships I’ve endured – especially at only the age of 32. From 4 rapes all by guys I knew and had trusted at some point, to having a birth defect called Chiari Malformation, to my family deciding at my young age that I was unlovable and completely incapable of telling the truth. At 5 actually, I was accused by my father of being overly dramatic and lying about the headaches I said I was having, simply because I wanted attention. My birth defect wasn’t diagnosed until it had started affecting my ability to function properly… it was my senior year in high school. As of today, Ive had 3 brain surgeries. It was only supposed to be one, but years later we discovered the neurosurgeon that performed the first one had removed 5 times the amount of my skull aa she should have. There are many instances in my life that I cant help but to feel like whatever is happening is completely deliberate…. like BAD LUCK and suffering is all my life will ever be, but not because I haven’t tried to escape thw curse. Through an addiction I barely survived, losing 4 ex boyfriends as they’ve all passed away, losing the bestest friend I ever had – also to Death, way before his time, to even losing my mom to suicide a few years ago. She knew she was all I had…. It’s just been so painful…. I don’t understand why I can’t move past being broke and homeless…. I just feel like irregardless of my efforts, I end up in the same places almost like clock work. I apologize for how lengthy this got…. I don’t even know who I’m writing this to. I just know I refuse to accept a life of suffering to survive, yet I remain unsuccessful in my efforts to change the direction of my life. I yearn for a relationship with divinity, Source.

I always felt like “changing the world” was supposed to be my path… Not exactly the world, but the country. I used to believe that for all the hardships I endured, there was a ‘lesson’ I was supposed to learn – lessons that would amount to all the ways I would eventually go about helping our nation. I’m just so tired of feeling like I have to do this completely alone… but no matter how many times I ask for Guidance, I always end up disappointing myself when I feel like my cries for help must not be important enough, since nothing ever seems to change.

Jack Wellman June 9, 2018 at 9:51 pm

Hello Lindsay. I pray that you seek God and find a saving relationship with Jesus Christ. This will all make sense only after you have repented and trusted in Christ. I see so much pain and suffering in this life, but suffering is worse after death if they die without Christ, so please, I plead with you, to trust in the Savior today. He may not take all your pain away, but it will make more sense and you will know someday the “WHy” of all this when you see Jesus.

Ken August 18, 2019 at 8:49 pm

More than 97% Scientists hold that our planet is billions of years old, and people have been around for more than 100,000 years. They also state that the Adam and Eve of the bible is fiction. I embrace scientists evidence today verses my ignorance of once believing a preacher. The preacher was WRONG!

Jack Wellman August 18, 2019 at 9:23 pm

Hello Ken. 97% of the world used to think the earth was flat, so science can be and has been wrong, and will be in the future. Scientists believed that “blood letting” would cure many diseases or illnesses, but clearly, the doctors, and science, were about as wrong as you could be…even though 97% believed it! Many people who profess that the earth is only about six to seven thousand years old use the biblical genealogies to measure the earth’s age but the problem with this is that not every single genealogy is listed in the Bible and you cannot use the birth and death dates of the patriarchs in the Bible to come up with a date of the creation. Some have said that it was on a Sunday morning with the ending coming the following Saturday where God rested. The issue I have with this is that there is no way to determine what date or hour that the earth was created. To use the lines of men who died at certain ages and back date to the beginning of the creation is not scientific and no one can be dogmatic knowing the exact age of the earth based upon this. There is no time given between Genesis 1:1 and Genesis 1:2. No human was there. There are no human eyewitnesses to the creation because they themselves were not created and mankind was not created by God until after the created universe as we know it was complete.

We must conclude that we cannot make a comprehensive, conclusive statement as to just how old the earth is. Could it be only six to seven thousand years old? Could it be millions or billions of years old? I just don’t know. I believe the earth is probably a lot older than we think but the age of the earth or the universe is something that Christians can disagree on and not be heretical in. No one loses their salvation if they think the earth is only six thousand years old or it is 2.9 billion years old.

The word science means “knowledge” and not dogmatic facts, like say, 2 + 2 = 4. Scientists have many theories, but many of these theories have been wrong and will be wrong. Science is always changing and learning and correcting, so I am not putting my stock in a group of scientists and what they believe. Putting one’s eternity at stake is too important. Eternity is a long time to be wrong! Time is nothing to God. Read Genesis and you will see an already mature earth with fruit bearing trees, so God could have created it as He did Adam and Eve…as being mature, or already appearing old. “The preacher is wrong?” It’s not about the preacher sir, but about is the Bible wrong, and no it’s not…unlike science can be and has been wrong.

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