How Do You Confront a Christian Who is Sinning?

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What are we to do when we see a brother or sister in Christ sinning? What does the Bible teach?

We all Make Mistakes

What are we to do when we see a brother or sister in Christ sinning? What does the Bible teach? I have told the congregation that if they find that I’ve made a doctrinal or other error in preaching, they’d do me a huge favor by letting me know. I’d rather be corrected than incorrect, so we need to be held accountable to one another. The only parts of my sermons that are ever perfect are where I read out of the Bible! As for me, I know I have and will make mistakes in the future but hopefully, doctrinal errors will not be a part of those mistakes. Now, if a believer sins and calls it a mistake, that’s sin. We don’t make mistakes when we choose to disobey God’s Word. I’ve even heard criminals use this idea that they didn’t really want to rob the store and considered it a mistake….but ask the judge if he or she will let you off the hook just because “It was a mistake.” We must take accountability before God and before others in our sins and not pass them off as if it’s like they used to say, “Boys will be boys.” No, we must acknowledged our sins and then confess them to God (1 John 1:8, 10) and then God will forgive us and cleanse us completely (1 John 1:9). Don’t ignore that sinning brother or sister because God will hold you and the church accountable.  We must do what is best for them but it’s also best to obey God (Matt 18:15-20).

Love and Discipline

A true friend will correct a brother because they love him. Same goes for a sister in Christ. If she sees her sister in Christ sinning, she must go to her in love. If we really care for them, we will tell them the truth that their sin is out of alignment with God’s Word. If they are truly our friend, they will tell us the truth, even if it hurts, because “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy” (Prov 27:6). Isn’t love the reason why we discipline children and tell them not to play in the street? It is because we care about them and wish them no harm that we’re willing to offend them? God says that “Whoever rebukes a man will afterward find more favor than he who flatters with his tongue” (Prov 28:23).  They  may not love  you for what you’ve done immediately, but they will in time.

Go Privately

Jesus commands all members of His church that they must first go to the person who is openly sinning but they are to do so privately (Matt 18:15). I believe we should keep things to ourselves until we know more about the sin. If I share this with others, then it is gossip and that’s a deadly sin which God abhors (Prov 6:19). If they admit their sin and repent of it, then that’s the end of the disciplining process. There is no need to ever bring it up again with that person or anyone else.

Then Take Two

The next step in church discipline is initiated when the person refuses to repent or admit their sin and confess it. If that happens, we are commanded to take someone else with us (Matthew 18:16). Jesus says to take one or two with you and no more than that because it may intimidate the person. Jesus didn’t want us to send vigilantes group or a posse, because, at this point, only 2 or 3 are needed. It’s good to have more than one witness because the second person may see that it’s not really a sin that is worth disciplining the person over. Two witnesses can establish something as true or false (Deut 19:15). Remember that when you take one or two witnesses with you, the matter should still remain private, whether they repent or not. None of this should be shared with anyone else (at least yet) because they might repent and confess their sin at this point.

Take it to the Church

If the person still refuses to repent after two or three members goes to the sinning believer, it gets very painful, but it is exceedingly necessary. Since they have obviously refused to listen they must take the matter before the entire church. If, after this, they still refuse at this point to repent and confess their sin, they must be disfellowshipped (Matt 18:17). There is no exception at all for anyone. This applies to pastors and lay members alike. God will hold us, the church, responsible if we do not do as Jesus commanded. Painfully, but necessarily, they are to be treated as an unbeliever and we cannot even associate with them (Titus 3:10, 1 Cor 5:11). When we overlook this sinning member, the unrepentant sinner sees it as you or the church condoning (or accepting) this sin. This is why the Apostle Paul said we “are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord” (1 Cor 5:5). This is God’s way of purging out the sin from the church (1 Cor 5:7, 13). When Paul said that the church is to deliver them to Satan, he is saying that God is going to remove His hedge over them, like He did Job, but for the express purpose of bringing them to repentance.

Conclusion

If the sin is a grey area and/or the supposed sinning member is not convicted by what they are doing, then church discipline may not be needed.  It depends of the severity of the sin.  For example, adultery is more than a sufficient reason to start church discipline, but other areas less defined by Scripture may not be a hill to die on.  Especially if the person is not bothered by what they are doing. I pray you have put your trust in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. If that has not happened yet, my friend, you are in real danger of hell fire. And I mean, in immediate danger. You’re one breath, one heartbeat…one accident away from eternity when it will be too late to repent. Today is the best day to believe (2 Cor 6:2) since tomorrow is no guarantee. If Jesus Christ came today, here is your fate (Matt 7:21-23). This is why I plead with you as you read this, repent today…and I mean right now. Put your trust in Jesus Christ. If you do not, you will face God’s judgment after death guaranteed (Heb 9:27) or at Jesus Christ’s appearance (Rev 20:12-15), which could happen at any moment.

Here is some related reading for you: Church Discipline – How the Church Should Discipline Members

Resource – Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version^® (ESV^®), Crossway Bibles. (2007). ESV: Study Bible: English standard version. Wheaton, Ill: Crossway Bibles. Used by permission. All rights reserved.