Bible Verses About Gossip: 15 Helpful Quotes

by Pamela Rose Williams · Print Print · Email Email

One of the things that can destroy any church or ministry is gossip. Other terms in the Bible for gossip include:  backbiter, busybody, slanderer, secrets, talebearer and whisperers.  So then, a Biblical definition of gossip would be to spread rumors or secrets, speak about someone maliciously behind their back or repeat something about someone else that you have no right to repeat. My husband often says “If you aren’t part of the problem or the solution, it’s gossip”. Let’s take a look at how the Bible warns and teaches us about this destructive behavior known as gossip. Here are fifteen Bible verses and helpful quotes about gossip:

Proverbs 16:28 A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.

Gossip: Secrets, Slanderers & Talebearers

Leviticus 19:16 You shall not go around as a slanderer among your people, and you shall not stand up against the life of your neighbor: I am the LORD.

Proverbs 11:13 Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered.

Proverbs 20:19 Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler.

Proverbs 26:20-22 For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases.  As charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife. The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body.

Jeremiah 6:28 They are all stubbornly rebellious, going about with slanders; they are bronze and iron;  all of them act corruptly.

Jeremiah 9:4 Let everyone beware of his neighbor, and put no trust in any brother, or every brother is a deceiver, and every neighbor goes about as a slanderer. 

Deceit, Backbiting, Busybodies, Malicious Gossips & Whisperers

Psalms 41:7 All who hate me whisper together about me; they imagine the worst for me.

Proverbs 25:23 The north wind brings forth rain, and a backbiting tongue, angry looks.

Romans 1:28-32 And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.

2 Corinthians 12:20 For I fear that perhaps when I come I may find you not as I wish, and that you may find me not as you wish—that perhaps there may be quarreling, jealousy, anger, hostility, slander, gossip, conceit, and disorder.

1 Timothy 3:9-11 Deacons likewise must be dignified, not double-tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy for dishonest gain. They must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. And let them also be tested first; then let them serve as deacons if they prove themselves blameless. Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things.

1 Timothy 5:13-14 Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not. So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy  heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.

Titus 2:2-3 Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good,

How Can You Avoid Gossip?

Consider these simple steps to be sure you are not involved in gossip:

  • Do not associate yourself with one who is a known gossip

  • When someone starts to gossip — change the subject

  • If you are not part of the problem or part of the solution, stay out of it

  • If you have fallen into the bad habit of gossiping — ask God to change your heart

  • When you have been the victim of gossip — confront the parties that spread the rumor


The Holy Bible, English Standard Version

“Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.” “Change My Heart Oh God” by Eddie Espinosa

(Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)

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{ 60 comments… read them below or add one }

Jack Wellman February 9, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Pam, this is one of the most important subjects that can be covered in church and of course, on this site. Sadly, when we gossip about others, we are hurting the Body of Christ and your advice given in red is exceptionally good and should be in the thought process of every born again believer. Outstanding, as always. Thank you.


Pam February 10, 2012 at 11:08 am

Jack my friend, you are so kind. My advice comes from years of fighting the fires that come from wagging tongues. I have seen it destroy ministries and the fact of the matter is that once we are bound by the sin of gossip, it becomes such a habit like so many other destructive behaviors. There are gobs and gobs of verses that we can meditate upon to help us keep from gossip. A good one to commit to memory is a popular one out of the Psalms: “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.” (Psalms 19:14). When this one is in our heart we might think twice about being a talebearer! My advice is based upon Biblical principles that we teach to folks who visit us for counsel.

Your words of encouragement have brightened my day brother.


BibleLoveVerses February 12, 2012 at 3:47 am

I guess that the best way to avoid gossip is by using the exact opposite meaning bible love verses, one love verse can erase the ugliest gossip, its just amazing how smart and simple the bible verses are. truly the lord’s masterpiece.


rose moss August 4, 2012 at 9:41 am

I get tired of hearing people gossip about others and we wonder why people dont want to to church we are christians an they hear negative things coming out of our mouths i prefer to walk away cause i dont want to hear it lov your site thank you god bless


LIL September 6, 2012 at 6:17 pm



K Tefft November 10, 2013 at 11:11 am

Amen, Amen! Thank you Lord Jesus for your wisdom and leading me to this site.


Peter Shamoon August 31, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Hi Pam i heard of this one thing in the bible that said people who say things bad about women will be punished…do u know where that is in the bible? and i talks specificlly about somone being punished for talking bad about a woman..thank you


Pamela Rose Williams August 31, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Peter read Deuteronomy 22 beginning at verse 13. Is this what you are looking for? This is a portion of the Old Testament Jewish law.


Peter Shamoon August 31, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Thank you this is good…but please tell me if u find anything else like this..thank you very much


New leaf September 2, 2012 at 11:59 am

I recently just realized all the harm that can be done by gossip. I truly want with all my heart to stop being a “gossip girl”. Gossip leads to trobube and lies and will tear relationships apart. I realized I had a real problem on my hands when a co-wokers started coming to me to me to get the office 411. Before I knew it I was sucked in to this nasty habit. I also started to realize that I would exaggerate details. Or throw in a little white lie which lead to bigger lies. I really hope the lord can forgive for years of wrong doing. Is there a prayer I can say whenver I feel the need to gossip? I really need some help on this one.


Pamela Rose Williams September 2, 2012 at 2:38 pm

hello New Leaf. Very fitting name for the desire of your heart.

Just a couple things: (1) Remember no matter what kind of lie you speak, a lie is a lie and God calls us to be conformed to the image of His Son, Jesus. Since Jesus never lied neither should we.

(2) You asked for a prayer to offer every time you feel like you need to gossip. How about if you commit the following scripture to memory and the next time you have that urge you can recall this to mind:

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength and my redeemer. (Psalms 19:14)


New leaf September 2, 2012 at 3:10 pm


Thank you for the quick response! I wrote down the scripture immediately and I will carry with me in my purse. I know this is going to be so hard for me, at the same time I have to do this. Like I said before gossiping can ruin a relationship. I would like to know what I have trouble with is the fine line between gossiping and just stating the truth. For instance if some one asks me question about another person I usually will just state the facts. But then all of a sudden its like I am spilling all the beans and I feel soooooo guilty.

All I know is I don’t want to do it anymore. And if someone comes to me with gossip I should stop them and pray for them. Talking amputation people behind their backs in a malicious manner is wrong on so many levels.

Do you think the lord knows I truly want to stop. I hope he trusts me after all the lies I have told.


Pamela Rose Williams September 2, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Hello again

Try to remember the tips I give in the article at the end “How Can You Avoid Gossip”

To answer your question — absolutely the Lord knows you want to stop; He knows everything! When you purpose to do it He will give you the desire of your heart too. (Psalms 37:3-5)


Kristina September 20, 2012 at 10:33 pm

I was so happy to read this. I am trying so hard to eliminate gossip and negative aspects from my life. The devil has a way of taking advantage of our weaknesses! I am having a hard time with it as well, and have found that it is extremely hard to eliminate gossip when you surround yourself with people who indulge and relish in gossiping. I now see how harmful it is, and I also see how hard it is to escape. I am currently taking a class through my church called Restoration and it is helping me to see my weakness and to overcome them through our Lord. I truly appreciate this article and believe that our savior knows our hearts. The first step towards change is admitting the problem, second is asking God for help. The rest is all action on our part! I may take your husband’s saying and make a large sign for my house!!


David June 5, 2013 at 9:40 am

Good luck Kristina. Be strong don’t let any negative talk affect you.


Uncertain October 11, 2012 at 7:47 am

Thank you for your article! I am struggling with gossip in my life, my sister, her boyfriend and most of her friends are constantly gossiping about my boyfriend and I, as a result we have chosen to distance ourselves from them and their company, however I live under the same roof as my sister, so that is a bit harder. We used to be extremely close, but we hardly talk these days. I have tried to ignore the rumours and act as if everything is okay, because the things that are said are so silly and really not worth the arguement that will follow. But last night my sister’s boyfriend stood up for her, while she was having a disagreement with my mother, when my mother spoke about her moving out, he questioned if I was going to be kicked out aswel. My mother and I have only recently started to get only better, and she now tells me a lot of what gets said behind my back. I want confront my sister’s boyfriend and tell him how I really feel, but I know that my mother will make friends with him( because she likes to stay at his mother’s holiday house) and I will look like the trouble maker.


pjac1010 October 14, 2012 at 2:38 pm

I read your article and it was very uplifting. I have a neighbor who is very annoying the first thing he says is Dont mention this but and he goes on with his statement. I have told him quite often I don’t repeat conversations that I have and really what someone else might do or are doing is really not my business. I don’t think he is understanding what I am trying to say so should I just be mean in my tone of voice to get him to understand it is not my business, but the crazy part is he is an Assistant Pastor.


Bob Combs October 19, 2012 at 11:01 am

I live in a small apartment community and have several ladies that will sit on their patio for up to 10-14 hrs a day and simply gossip about everyone! even the “friends” or neighbors they invite over are not immune from it. The times I have visited or paused to say hi I have tried to change the subject but no luck. I have excepted the best way to deal with this group is by avoiding all the source(s) gossip and playing neigbors against neighbors. It certainly dont make me a popular person but I have that 10-14 hrs a day to be a better person and dad.


Johnny Mullens November 3, 2012 at 9:36 am

I’ve studied esoterically about gossip. I’ve had to leave churches because of gossip in the form of false accusations. Having never been married, I am subject to lies regarding relationships with women. A problem with gossip is that people don’t study to know what it is. From my experience, some people ignore verses about it because they would deal with someone’s problems than their own. Also, some people get hypocritical. I discovered the pulpit minister where I had been attending church has OCD and Compensatory Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The minister is insecure and refuses to get help. An elder told me it was gossip to say to him at an elder’s meeting about the minister’s mental health issues even though I was trying to help the minister. What is ironic is that I used to attend church with that elder’s mother. She falsely accused of bragging about my Bible knowledge when I filled-in preached because I would quote verses that people would not know. She would not listen to my response.It looked bad to some members because I was much younger. That church attendance is down to 20-25 people because of the effects of gossip.

True gossip is the result of a problem with the gossiper, not the object of the gossip. When there are problems in a church or with a Christian, it is not gossip as long as one tries to work it out with a person. Paul learned of the problems of the church at Corinth from what he was told by the household of Chloe (I Cor. 1:10). The same Paul that said, “Follow me as I follow Christ.”(I Cor. 1:11) If Paul told the household of Chloe that they were gossips, would there have been the Corinthians letters?


Lauren July 7, 2015 at 9:21 pm

Just curious how you know, factually, that this man has diagnosis of NPD and OCD. I ask because it is highly unlikely for an NPD to be open themselves about it as they aren’t likely to admit there is even something wrong with them.


becca November 3, 2012 at 3:01 pm

thank you 🙂


Prince uche November 21, 2012 at 1:57 am

Thank you fro this wonderful lesson i leant from your message


JC December 17, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Hi! Thanks for the article. It really relieves me. Amen!

I am always the subject of the gossips. My co-workers talked bad things about me. For the fact that I only stayed in the company for 4 years and yet I achieved many things. I became the general manager in a short time. I persevered to get my boss’ trust and reach this position. As a result, those people who already stayed in the company longer than I did tend to speak ill about me behind my back. I could reprimand them because of this, but I didn’t. I didn’t even confront them. I just prayed for them that someday God will change their ways and save their souls.


David Welch December 18, 2012 at 8:49 am

What does one do when the gossipers are family members to other family members? Not just siblings but parents alike? Then they blame me for overhearing their gossip about me when it is never intentional, then they turn on me like it is all my fault. These are supposed to be God fearing people that do nothing but gossip and slander all day. What do I do to make sure that I respect them but at the same time stand my groound? My first inclination is to leave them alone altogether. Someone please help?


Dawn March 9, 2013 at 5:28 pm

Just a quick question. I am having issues with my bf. Is it considered slandering if I seek advice from close friends about things that have happened between us? I mean I tried to fix things with him, but it’s not working. So I have sought advice on some things (not everything). So I had to explain the situation. Is that slandering is this something bad? If it is, I want to stop it. But I have made a promise to God, that if it is bad…I will stop talking to even my closest friends, and just talk to Him and wait for his advice and guidance. What do ya’ll think?


K Tefft November 10, 2013 at 11:21 am

All I know is it is like a domino or butterfly effect when one tells anyone of a conversation or event happening about someone other than themselves. We have a tendency to form opinions about whomever is spoken about and then the person spoken of is shunned by many not even speaking to this person or not even acknowledging they exist. A great evil. It hurts terribly that everyone else knows except the person being spoken of, yet they sense it by actions or non-actions of others. Again, again, it hurts!


Tina March 20, 2013 at 11:22 am

My mother in law and I talk quite often. I just fell in love with her and my sister in law when I met them. Recently, I found out my mother in law had been gossiping about me to my sister in law. I was pretty hurt by this. Just telling my business because I am on hard times. For someone who has grown up with a bible in hand should know better. I have not talked to her about this, but I am sure it will do no good. This site was very helpful – thank you.


Pamela Rose Williams March 20, 2013 at 11:35 am

Hello Tina, How can you be sure that your mother in law will not respond positively unless you confront her about her wrong-doing? I urge you to discuss this with her. You know now that you should confront her. Remember point #5 in How to Avoid Gossip “When you have been the victim of gossip — confront the parties that spread the rumor”. Thank you for taking them time to leave your comment here.


Sandy March 24, 2013 at 7:36 pm

Thanks got this. I realized I fell into gossiping today. When I noticed what was happening I quickly changed the subject. I felt convicted after I slipped and mentioned a friends business by accident. I know I have to go ask for forgiveness from The Lord. I also havr to speak with that person. I will pray and ask God to help me with guarding my mouth. This site was a blessing to me. I anxiously was looking to gain understanding about gossip and I’m ready for The Lord to change my heat.


Richie March 31, 2013 at 10:03 pm

My just 4 year old daughter recently told me something she had heard from a friend of her’s and it really bothered me when she mentioned it to me. I wanted to go to the mother and let her know what her child was talking about but I asked a close friend for advice on how to bring it up because it was a sensitive subject. Today I talk to the mother and she was really upset because she had heard from a few people that her daughter was talking about inapproprete stuff and it had started with me. I never thought my confident would mention it to anyone and I feel horrible about it, I apoligized to the mother but she was still very upset that people were gossiping about her daughter. I know I need to do something to fix this and I don’t want anyone else getting hurt. What do you think I should do?


Pamela Rose Williams April 1, 2013 at 4:57 pm

Hello Richie, Your first instinct to talk to the Mother was the best thing. This is a 4 year old you were dealing with … Mommy or Daddy should be the first person you consult with for issues with these wee children. You involved at least one 3rd party and that is when it became gossip. It is okay to ask a friend for advice but you should never share details of a situation that they have no need to know. For this situation I believe you have done all you can to try to gain forgiveness from the Mother. Have you asked God to forgive you for this act of gossip? After that there is really no other action you can do to reconcile your relationship with the Mother. It is in her court now and she needs to find it in her heart to forgive you. Once that happens y’all can cultivate your relationship and begin reconciliation.

Now in the future, learn from your mistake and remember what I said at the end of this article: “If you have fallen into the bad habit of gossiping — ask God to change your heart”. When someone else is not part of the problem or part of the solution, do not involve them, else it becomes gossip. I hope this is helpful to you Richie. Thank you for your comment.


Alicia Barker April 12, 2015 at 7:50 am

This reply really explained the solution problem saying perfectly. I wasn’t getting it because a confidant can help you solve a problem with someone else but that is a lie from the pit and here is a perfect fit for why you can’t excuse gossip by calling it advice great post thank you guys and so sorry for the way you learned but glad I see our error through your testimony.


Sharin May 11, 2013 at 7:44 pm

I have a problem with the “pastoral counselling couple” at my church. At one point the male part of the counselor team told me of a problem “he and others, were having with the senior pastor”. I said I don’t know why you are telling me this, and he said, because you had a similar problem 7 yrs ago and I wanted to let you know we are currently trying to work through a similar problem. (I felt like this was gossip in my spirit, but I did not say anything…I think I felt pride that he would talk with me about a problem).
Since then, I have had some communication and control problems with the female partner regarding a women’s group we lead together.
I know she has gossiped, and behaved rudely, and she has responded to me in an email with a “white lie” for an excuse, of a simple task she did not want to tend to. I am 100% certain of all of this.
I tried talking to her about my communication concerns, but it she got very defensive. I first met them when I sought biblical counsel (2 yrs ago, before working as a group leader with her), but now I am very concerned about confidentiality and gossip.
How do I approach this? SERIOUSLY I need some guidance. My heart races when I think about how to deal with this. I have been trying to ignore it for 3 weeks. I don’t know whether to just cont. to ignore it and not cause trouble, or to talk to the senior pastor or his wife (my friend) about my concerns. This is not a comfortable situation.
If you need more detail I can provide that in confidentiality. phew…thank you


Jack Wellman May 11, 2013 at 8:29 pm

Sharin, this is not even my article but Pam is a very godly and wise woman of faith. She may answer much better than I and just because I am a pastor doesn’t make me any better able to answer than she is since she is part of her husband’s ministry and I consider the wife of a pastor part of the same ministry and so I have all the respect in the world for this woman who wrote this article.

Given that (please forgive my intrusion Pam) I would go to the Senior Pastor and his wife privately since I think it is inappropriate for a woman to meet privately with a man. For example, as a pastor, I only counsel women with my office door open and with members in the next room, out of ear shot. I never do it behind closed doors and so I think you should speak with the senior pastor and his wife about this. There is nothing more destructive than gossip that will quicker divide the membership. Gossip is one of the most serious grievances there are in any church.

I believe you should also read this article on just how serious gossip is to God at this link:

Pray about it first. Make an appointment with the pastor and his wife, tell no one else and leave the rest up to God. Again, Pam may have better advice than I do but gossip hurts the church more than any other single thing because it divides, it slanders people’s reputation and it is very grievous to God. I am glad you see the seriousness of it and came here to seek counsel. I hope I did you well Sharin.


Sharin May 12, 2013 at 10:38 pm

Thank you Jack, this is good council. I do need to pray about it first and trust the Lord to lead me. Gossip, especially in leadership destroys congregations. Thank you for your reply, you gave me good, strong, biblical advice.


Kelly July 15, 2013 at 11:25 am

This really helped me put my siblings in their rightful place. Almost four years ago, I was so distraught that I attempted to take my own life. I have since been informed–by our mother, no less–that three of my siblings have been spreading the story of my pain, not in an attempt to comfort me, but to alienate me and cause me more pain. Each of these siblings professes to be a Christian of great faith and morality, yet each chose to gossip about me and the tremendous pain I felt that awful night when I tried to end my own life. The verse about “they imagine the worst for me” really speaks to me. Indeed each of my siblings does imagine the worst for me. They have enjoyed hearing about and spreading this story. I’ll get over it, but it does help to know that behavior like theirs is recognized for what it is.

Thank you for a thoughtful entry. Gossip is poison.


heather August 1, 2013 at 6:26 pm

thank you so much for this well written, much needed exhortation. i have seen so many problems in ministry where people have not been trust worthy with their lips, or have been malicious in their intentions, and causing division. its important as a Christian to have the mind of Christ, to do what is well pleasing to the Father, and to adhere to the living word, as it brings wisdom, healing, and connection between believers. thanks!


Jaymie August 22, 2013 at 9:25 pm

This is a great article Pam. It seems this is what I am actually facing now is the subject of something that I was not even the person whom they are suppose to refer with. I am just letting the Lord reveal the truth and entrusting all these into God’s hand. In Jesus name!


pretishe August 27, 2013 at 5:38 am

Thank u so much for yr time answering all our guestions . gossip is a big slient killer bse mañy lives are dangerously put apart by this weapon o evil


David Michael November 16, 2013 at 11:19 am

Well done, I am both victim and sinner in this area of my walk, gossip is so seductive, it appeals to our curiosity, pride and such. It is a major weapon of attack by the enemy of our souls. This is a sin that grows like cancer and kills the gifts of the spirit. If a fellowship is having weak prayers and feeble worship. You can bet dollars to donuts that gossip is a major problem in that body. One the way to the meeting we review, exchange and create new gossip and when we meet the Holy Spirit is quenched and unable to overcome the dark state of affairs we have created. God Bless you and protect you from satanic attacks


nevergetit December 26, 2013 at 4:16 pm

Forgive me ahead of time but this will be a long one. I’ve been blessed many times by Jack’s wisdom so I looked on here to see if I can lament, get guidance, prayers, and much needed fellowship. I truly desire someone to stand in agreement with me as well.
I have a big family. I have 2 older brother and 2 older sisters as well as 2 younger brothers. We are spaced apart so it was essentially 2 families. I grew up with an abusive father and my mother was so mean to me. She would use me to get my dad to not abuse her but only me. She would point and laugh at me while telling secrets to my siblings in my face. They called me a whore before I even knew what sex was.
When I got saved I married an abusive man. No shocking news there but I tried to cut ties to my family so I could make myself stronger and healthy in the Lord. Now my oldest sister was “saved” a couple years before me. I felt she was a good Christian. Sadly I knew deep down she was jealous of me and is very arrogant and proud. She also has every answer to every question. Whether right or not she always had this pride and arrogance. As I grew in the Lord and His wisdom I started to see cracks in the theology my sister was pushing me into. I used to always give into her because she is jealous of me. I felt bad that I was pretty and skinny and I wouldn’t allow my husband to abuse me. She hated that I had a daughter that looks just like me-she purposely says whatever to make me hurt. She is very mean. I finally had enough with her abuse and after I rebuked her and her husband for lying to myself and my husband many times, she became over the top. Every time I confronted her or him with truth I was belittled and made to look stupid. They always did this before, so I just had it. Now its beyond bad. She has gossiped to everyone at her church and my family. I have a son who raped & molested my younger kids so I did everything to get him out and get help. The county would not help. They made it so much harder for me. They spread lies too and now my sister feels this power over me that’s insane. My husband became so abusive I had to get a ratraining order and my sister & her husband blamed me. My husband would only exasperate this by throwing me under the bus and giving them more ammunition against me. Eventually my husband came back home and we discussed what they said to him about me and to me about him. They were busted but of course denied all of it and made it all about me.
My husband and I had it with the oldests disobedience and lies. He wanted to live with his paternal grandparents when we said no way. He kept lying to us and finally blindsided us in court. We gave up our rights and I will always stand by this. This kid has hurt more than just my children, but even if it was just 1 it is bad enough! The grandparents are horrible people and put a great show on to look amazing. The rapist did accuse the grandpa of molesting him, but he went there and the county pushed it. I don’t know if it was just his manipulation and conniving but either way God showed me this guy is a molestor, even before we found out about the rapes. The grandparents also allow drugs and drinking as well as sex and they hate God. Even thought they go to church, the grandfather doesn’t believe in God let alone Jesus. They promote homosexuality among all sorts of evil. Trust me, they’re evil. My sister is loving this. She has invited the oldest to family gatherings regardless of the pain it causes my little children, just so she can make me feel powerless and hurt.
She defends the rapist and says I lied. She believes the stories from the county which as God as my witness are false. They also shared personal info that wasn’t real to begin with but I am so mad! She is just ugly and I can’t stand how it is allowed to continue. Every time there’s someone affiliated with me she lies about them and attacks them. She just hates me and how I am strong. I stood up to them and you can’t do that, they’re all knowing. God knows all this and I know from His word He isn’t for them one bit but I still can’t believe they keep getting away with it all. My sister is always gossiping about everyone and I am just shocked no body else is upset over their behavior and actions.
My sister and brother-in-law wrote me a note saying I can’t talk to others in my family.I’m not to even eat with them. Yet they do and they use these people for their gain. They compete with everyone and make certain they have bigger and better. I have been homeschooling for 4yrs and this yr she decided to as well. Even though she chided me severely for doing so. “Homeschooling children are dumb and awkward”she said. She changes her story like the wind blows. She was saying satan didn’t have helpers and I said how do you think he attacks people? I said he isn’t like God and omnipresent, so he has demons. She yelled at me at how dumb I am,etc etc. Then the next day she calls me to rebuke me! She said she never said that! I argued for a moment and realized it was pointless-she was too arrogant to admit she was wrong. She flipped the scenario so it was total opposite. This is common. She also bad mouths my parents non stop. I literally could go on for hours but I think you get the jist.
I am just mad. I am so mad. My kids should be considered over her hatred and jealousy of me. She just won’t stop and plays the perfect innocent game well. Everyone loves perfect “Jane”. She tries too hard to make herself look and appear perfect. It is obvious to me and a couple others but the majority think she’s just the best thing ever. She is very controlling, manipulative, and deceiving.
Here’s the other big thing-when I was pregnant at 17 with the child who is the rapist, she tried to get me to have an abortion. I scoffed at her and said no way, I am happy about this baby. She was furious. Even when my dad told me to go with him to have the abortion I said no way to him. He refused me food or even allowing me to use their dishes. My sister was so mad that I stood up to our dad. Nobody had ever done this! She is just like him.
Turns out she had an abortion at 15. Her husband has an affair on her and is when he came to Christ. She said she was never allowed to say how she felt and hated me for always defending my convictions.
She was doing foster care and had 2 little girls for a time. She hated them but had them call her mom, but was so mean and had her boys be mean to them. It was horrible. Yet she was the best in the county and the social workers just adored her. They were nasty! She eventually gave them back like dogs but made sure everyone saw how wonderful they were to do Gods work by caring for these unwanted children. Yet when I said you need to keep them and love them, she mocked me and made fun of me. One of the girls was high risk for molesting and the county told them to NEVER leave her alone. She did! With MANY YOUNGER KIDS!
Then when they had a baby come, they fought the mother and kept it. So sad. I know how it works. All of my sister’s lies regarding the adoption were unbelievable. She will have to answer for it all but she is such a hypocrite! I couldn’t have the teen in my house constantly raping my kids, even when I was on watch all day he still did it at night or when I had to lock him out so I could shower, he snuck in to rape! He was cornering children in their own homes and at school! I couldn’t in good conscience allow this to happen, even if that meant he would be at home with my babies. I thought the county and police would finally listen to me and take him out. The police and county failed us. The whole thing is just horrible. The lies from these entities was appalling. Worse yet is the fact they all blamed me and said they believed him. I’m not perfect but they are dead wrong. They all were proven this very fact after the polygraph came back. Then they did 2 more but decided to stop because the number of known victims reached 8. They didn’t want to discover any more.
Now my sinister sister is just as bad as these people. I am so mad! You see, God gave me visions regarding my in laws. I started to act on them and this is when the visions became fulfilled. All of the things He showed me came true. Even things regarding my sister and her husband. I had a prophetic word come out of my mouth that he would get into a serious car wreck to humble him. I had 4 witnesses to this and it came true 3wks later. Of course they don’t believe in it-well if it includes me. Now this doubt has crept in, especially after all these evil things keep happening and are allowed. I pray God will vindicate me. That He will defend and deliver me from these evil people. God please show me I did in fact follow what You told me to do. That I was on the correct path. In Jesus name I pray Amen.


DB June 20, 2014 at 2:33 am

It does hurt the Body of Christ…I don’t go to church every Sunday, but a person that calls herself a Christian flat out told me that none of the other judges believed in my talent but her after I had studied with her for a few years. She basically ratted out the other judges (if she was being truthful). Not only did this hurt my feelings, but it was very disrespectful to the other judges in her field. This is not Christianly behavior, and I did not rat her out to her mates. I asked her how I should believe what she says…and she didn’t want to work with me after that. It suits me just fine. Some people don’t like a taste of their own medicine.


SM August 4, 2014 at 10:00 am

So I’ve been the victim of backbiting by a friend and as commanded by scripture I very gently and lovingly confronted her about it in private and she is as mad as a hornet now and has I believe increased her audience for backbiting me. I forgive the woman but I think it is most likely wise to disassociate myself from her in the future. What say you? Does forgiveness include taking her back into my confidence? Also, should I say anything to the women to which she has been backbiting me? I am sure they are all terribly uncomfortable in the situation and I feel terrible that they have been put in such a position.


Jack Wellman August 4, 2014 at 1:35 pm

Hello SM and thank you for your comment. Gossip may be one of the worst sins in the church. I can see why you want to disassociate yourself with her and yiou don’t have to say anything back to her. I would talk to the pastor about this though because this sin is very destructive in the church and should not be allowed to continue unabated. Forgiveness does not mean that you can trust her again…trust takes time to build but mistrust can be destroyed in a second. I see nothing wrong with not associating yourself with her. This woman needs prayer and there is no doubt that God is angry at this type of sinful activity in the church.


joanne January 4, 2015 at 1:25 pm

Hello Pam – you suggest confronting those who spread gossip about you. There were many who spread gossip about Christ and we never see him confronting the gossiper(s). He kept quiet. Might I suggest we take our example from him? Part of ‘loving your enemies’ and ‘turning the other cheek’ is to ‘suffer wrongly and take it patiently’.

“Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.”

Note of course that our suffering must be for HIS sake.

“Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you…”


“That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.”

To be Christ-like is to show love even when others are not. God will deal with them and judge them how he sees fit. We are to love them.

God bless you.


Jack Wellman January 4, 2015 at 2:41 pm

Hi Joanne. So we should just ignore the gossiper and let them gossip away in the church and do nothing about it? The verses you quoted were the Beatitudes and were dealing with those who persecute us, not gossip about us, right? Is church discipline ever necessary? Should the gossiper be allowed to gossip with no restraints or doing nothing about it? What about the biblical model of discipline (e.g. Matt 18:15-20)? Paul lists Romans 1:28-32 as things that are clearly sin “And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.” To not do anything about gossip is leaving the next step in allowing those other sins un-confronted that Paul lists…” covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless” so gossip should not be confronted and neither should these other things? Could you explain your position please? I think Pam is spot on the mark with her advice and fits the biblical model of church discipline in Matthew 18.


joanne January 21, 2015 at 9:42 am

Hello Jack. I’m not saying there is not room for proper biblical intervention. The brothers in leadership have every right and responsibility to run the church as the Lord has laid out. But even after all the ‘steps for dealing with gossip’ (including Matthew 18) have been followed, we still have to keep loving, being merciful, long suffering, etc. … even if someone must be excommunicated (or if they leave and excommunicate themselves).
I was just sharing from my heart, currently being the recipient of malicious gossip all in the name of religion. I cannot stop it but I CAN keep loving and being merciful and forgiving.
It’s easy to follow a set of guidelines or steps to deal with gossip … it’s much harder to love while you are right in the middle of it. I pray this makes sense. I’m not trying to correct any errors in the article, I am just trying to say that we must be as Christ.
Mercy triumphs over judgment and Christ says we will be judged by how we have judged others. May God help us all to love those who do not love us, be merciful to those who are not merciful to us, be kind to those who are not kind to us and be forgiving to those who are not forgiving to us.


Jack Wellman January 21, 2015 at 9:46 am

Amen Joanne. You wrote “It’s easy to follow a set of guidelines or steps to deal with gossip … it’s much harder to love while you are right in the middle of it” and that is so very true my friend. I love that you wrote mercy triumphs over judgment. What a blessing you must be to the local Body of Christ in which you are a member of. Thank you for your gracious response.


Pegasus March 16, 2015 at 5:40 am

I have a big problem… 🙁
My mother in law is the biggest gossiper I know. But she doesn’t do it casually, she slanders, hates, make things up, completely violates other people’s names.
And I have recently found out she does the same with me behind my back. I always knew it more or less (I mean someone who is comfortable gossiping to you will definitely also be gossiping ABOUT you). But I found out what she is saying, and I am having a lot of trouble forgiving.
It’s close to impossible to permanently cut her out of my life, even though I want to.


A.M April 9, 2015 at 3:23 am

Hi Everyone I have a Question I came to a friend about an issue in our Prayer group and it was not my intention to gossip I was just seeking understanding Because I know Our Neighbor more then the people in our group the next Day I felt the need to apologize to her and explain it was never my intention to gossip as I said at the start of this message she said she understood and that she wouldn’t tell the person I talked about I really didn’t mind if she told tho because I just needed some understanding unfortunately as soon as the prayer group started The person I talked about started making me out to be an example saying the exact things I’d said about her for over 40 She attacked me saying they were only examples although I knew she found out what I said it hurt me so bad I came back home to calm down because noone said anything to her I went back and my Neighbor was throwing me dirty looks there is a verse that basically means not to tell the secret I found out Idk what to do now and this whole thing started because I just asked for an understanding Please no mean responses can someone help me know How I can apologize to my neighbor Idk if u understood anything that I wrote but I hope u do understand could someone help me please


A.M April 9, 2015 at 3:26 am



Jack Wellman April 10, 2015 at 7:55 pm

Hello A.M. Thank you for your question and please forgive the intrusion for answering this for the fine author. I would apologize but see that this is really a misunderstanding. What we do with things like this are to make prayer requests for “someone” as an “unspoken need” so to keep the risk of it turning into gossip down a bit. I don’t think you did anything wrong and in fact, you were trying to help. Tell them just what you wrote…that is was an honest misunderstanding and that you never meant it to hurt anyone and you were not really gossiping as much as trying to pray for someone which is a good thing. Just accept it, apologize, and move on and down worry about their making dirty looks at you. If you are right with God, that’s all that matters. Maybe you’ve learned a lesson on praying for people but making a prayer request for “someone” for an “unspoken need.” Does this help my friend? I am sorry for the late response.


Mrs.C April 25, 2015 at 5:25 am

Please pray for me.
My husband and I have done things very differently than his family. We’ve home birth. We home school our children. We are not in the same denomination as he grew up. Medically, we do things different. We have been gossiped about and treated roughly at times. We are having our 8th child, but my husband is being diagnosed with MS or the like. I am having a hard time with certain members of his family. They are acting concerned but one minute is telling him not to tell people, but the next they are struggling to tell “our” business with others. I am concerned how the conversation goes after the initial information is shared. I could write so much about it all. I need prayer because this is tearing up my mmarriage. He feels loved by their concern. I am skeptical because of past hurts and recent involvement that verifies different ones still struggle to talk about others. Many are in the medical field so they think they have the right and knowledge to speak on these things. One made him feel guilty for not getting him involved saying he could have helped find doctors, etc. God guided my husband and I think it’s wrong for the kin folk to make my husband feel like we have to turn to him. He doesn’t come to my accountant husband for advice EVER. (not that we want him’s just hypocritical) My husband thinks I hate his family. I do distrust them and I don’t appreciate being their topic of gossip. So now my husband is mad at me and thinks I don’t care about him. I am asking him to be careful and not so easily lured into their game. I am afraid he struggles with gossip too. So when I speak against them it probably pricks him and he doesn’t like me, his wife, pricking him. I really need prayer.


Jack Wellman April 25, 2015 at 9:11 am

Praying for you and your situation Mrs. C. and sadly, gossip (being one of the seven things God hates) is beyond our control. It is most important what God knows rather than what people believe or say. I am so sorry. Praying for sure.


john June 6, 2015 at 7:53 am

i have a question if someone is who applies the bible only to suit there needs but doesnt practice what they preach so to say if i say say somthing it will harm my fathers lively hood but it hurts me to see a hypocritical cristian the woman that he chooses to live with browbeet and put him down all the time now she has influenst someone close to me with gossip and the same bad advise that ruind all 3 of her prior mariges is leading my divorce down a harmfull path becuse of gossip of a missunderstanding over 10 yrs ago if i say anything she will take it out on my father it confussess me how people only apply the lords words to everyone ells but think ther e exemt


Mark A. Barnes October 5, 2015 at 12:07 pm

First I like to think God through his son Jesus Christ who came to this sin curse world to die for a sinner like me. It`s so sad people have not learned anything about life, gossip is a sin we should not entertain it period, God does not like it, if we cant look at the positive in someone move on. Jesus died for us all that is a sermon within itself. He did no wrong, but was falsely accused. Lord be with us all during these time here on earth help us to Love one another because you are love.


Tima March 3, 2016 at 3:18 am

Thank you Pat, this is very helpful


Heidi August 14, 2016 at 7:00 pm

This is obviously a very serious issue in the church. We all need to examine our hearts, our thoughts and our words… before they come out. Even if someone has ‘good’ intentions, and may be asking others for prayer over something happening in someone else’s life, it is still wrong to share what is going on in the other persons life. It is still gossip, it is still sharing secrets that aren’t yours to share. A good rule of thumb to live by, is that unless it is 100% positive talk, then avoid speaking about someone that is not physically in the current conversation. If someone else does, then politely mention that it makes you uncomfortable and that you would prefer to talk about something different. If that doesn’t work, then politely remove yourself from the conversation. We can’t beat around bushes and be vague about this, but we should still maintain respect with others. One last thing, I can’t help but notice how the enemy uses ANYthing he can to deceive us. Just read some of these comments and replies under this thread about gossiping. Many of them still ended up turning into pure gossip about someone else. Smh. Pray for discernment, test your words before you speak them or type them out. This is a really serious issue.


Julia Rozeboom September 28, 2016 at 7:52 pm

Thanks for this information about gossip. I have been guilty of this for years. I got called on this the other day. Your verses, and the Holy Spirit have convicted me not to gossip.
I was born in Albuquerque 55 years ago. God bless you.


Joyce Majak-Apollo March 1, 2017 at 3:36 am

Thank you sister for the points you listef rjere on red about gossip, this is what happened to me, a friend of my mom started gossiping about my friend from church right in front of me and many other people. So I told her when you jusge a person don’t involve rhe church or god, if rhis person saying I’m a church person and you saw thier behavior says otherwise, is not your place to judge them, so now we are not in good terms. What should I do in this situation, am I wrong that I confronted her, pray for me to courage and ask her for forgiveness. Thank you sister for opening my eyes about gossip, now I know how to avoid to true God. God bless you.


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