5 Biblical Steps For Restoring Broken Relationships

by Pamela Rose Williams · Print Print · Email Email

I have a friend who says that relationships are like gardens, they must be cultivated. She also said that the most difficult thing to restore is a broken relationship. Though it is difficult to do, broken relationships can be restored and as with other issues of life, the Bible has guidance for this. Here are 5 Biblical steps for restoring broken relationships.

Be Sure All are Committed With Love

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

Loss of commitment in a relationship will lead to a breakup. Cultivation of a relationship requires hard work and much love. Lovingly remind others in a broken relationship that you care for them. Tell them you are committed to restoring the relationship and keeping it healthy. Ask them if they are willing to do the same. Commitment to the relationship is the first step to restoration and all parties in the relationship must be committed to it.

Humble Yourself

Commitment, humility, time, forgiveness and proper communication are all steps that will lead to restoration in a way that will please the Lord.

Commitment, humility, time, forgiveness and proper communication …

Do this now, my son, and deliver thyself, when thou art come into the hand of thy friend; go, humble thyself, and make sure thy friend. Proverbs 6:3

One of the greatest things you can do to restore a broken relationship is to humble yourself and admit where you were wrong. God loves a humble heart and He will be glorified when you take this brave step forward and admit how your actions contributed to the breakup. Your humble attitude will show the love of Christ and possibly cause others to do the same.

Don’t Rush It

Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD. Psalm 27:14

Remember that sometimes the Lord gives us trials in our life so that we take time to cultivate our relationship with Him. When our relationship with the Lord is right all other relationships on earth fall into place. Don’t forget to “take time” to examine your relationship with the Lord, spend time daily with Him in His word and ask Him for his guidance with restoration. Then when He gives an answer trust Him to make it happen.

Ask Forgiveness and Grant Forgiveness

For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matthew 6:14-15

Just as it is important to humble ourselves and admit when we are wrong, it is important to ask for forgiveness. When you ask forgiveness the forgiving party forfeits their right to ever bring it up again. We can choose to remember the transgressions no more, just as the Lord does (Isaiah 43:25-26). The same holds true when you grant forgiveness to another, put it behind you and don’t bring it up again. Forgiveness is a key component to restoration of a relationship.

Remember the Rules of Communication

Moving forward with a healthy relationship requires proper communication. These four simple rules are easy to remember and priceless when applied. Memorize them and teach them to those with whom you have relations. You will be blessed.

But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ: Ephesians 4:15

1. Be Honest – Speak the truth in love and remember shouting does not make it true.

Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil. Ephesians 4:26-27

2. Keep current – Resolve your issues today and once they are resolved do not bring then back up tomorrow.

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Ephesians 4:29-30

3. Attack the problem, not the person – Take care to speak kindly to one another. Avoid absolutes like “always”, “never”, “ever”. For example instead of saying “You NEVER take out the trash” consider saying “It would be helpful if you take out the trash more often”. When we are not careful how we say things we are grieving the Holy Spirit because He would NEVER prompt us to do that.

He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him. The heart of the prudent getteth knowledge; and the ear of the wise seeketh knowledge. He that is first in his own cause seemeth just; but his neighbour cometh and searcheth him. A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle. (Proverbs 18:13,15,17,19)

4. Act, Don’t React – I believe this is the most difficult thing to bear in mind when we are communicating. It is so easy to respond in an ungodly way when we are in the heat of discussion. It is only when we take care to think about the information being presented and then slowly respond that we are able to act instead of reacting.

In Summary

Relationships, just like gardens are hard work. They require constant cultivation. Commitment, humility, time, forgiveness and proper communication are all steps that will lead to restoration in a way that will please the Lord. I pray that if you are struggling with a relationship that you have the courage to read, meditate upon and share this article with others and that you will soon be on your way to restoration. May God bless you as you choose His way.

Resource – The Holy Bible, King James Version

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{ 51 comments… read them below or add one }

Nicky September 22, 2014 at 1:38 am

This is an amazing article. Thanks for sharing.

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Jim March 13, 2015 at 8:44 am

Good stuff for hard issues. Glad I found this today.

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Gary May 21, 2015 at 10:19 am

This is fantastic. I am currently going through a difficult time where my relationship with my significant other is on hold. I want nothing more than to fix this, and the only way is through God, our Father. Thanks so much for this article, and I will be sure to use it as a foundation as I attempt to rekindle a broken relationship that is extremely important to me.

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patricia September 21, 2015 at 7:38 am

i am currently going thru hard time with my relationship bust since i read this i am kind of healed. thank you for sharing.

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STEPHEN O AYANDERE November 24, 2015 at 11:01 am

Dear All am facing a tough time in my relationship that i cant believe what is happening. am encouraged by the articles here please help me in prayer

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promise okoronkwo. January 16, 2016 at 9:47 pm

I’m in a big time depress in my relationship and I don’t know what to do, whether I should quit or I should continue, Please I need your prayer and support.

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Lois January 19, 2016 at 9:44 am

Am faced with a relationship that is destroyed I try fixing it but didn’t work thank God for this article my relationship will be restored

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M. Zeal February 5, 2016 at 9:56 am

Tank u ma’am. U r really a blessing to dis generation. I’m goin thru tough tyms in ma relationship. Ever since ma partner had a quarrel wit me younger sista, tins has nt being d same again. It’s lyk she resent me & evrytin abt me. I tink i nid God’s restoration bcus i love her genuinely.

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vincent kipng'etich May 13, 2016 at 4:07 am

Thank you, this is extremely good. Be blessed

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Osbert Bagaineyo August 2, 2016 at 7:48 am

you are a great woman of God. Be blessed in all you are doing, me and my family are blessed.

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Yohance August 30, 2016 at 8:41 pm

Thank you for the post…. it was truly a blessing to me!!!

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Kyemute john Anthony October 1, 2016 at 6:51 pm

I made a mistake in my relationship, i just find out the tips to make corrections. God bless you

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demie October 22, 2016 at 7:57 am

please pray for me currently going through a broken relationship. its the hardest thing for me. i cry everyday and i’m in so much pain.

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Adrienne November 3, 2016 at 3:09 pm

I’ve been holding on to hope and praying daily. It’s almost been six months and he is in the Army deployed right now. I pray over a dozen times a day and often for pray for wisdom, encouragement, hope, strength, just to stay focused an to not give up. I know God can do all things! He loves unconditional love, forgiveness, restoration and gives generously many miracles and blessings. I know he hears our prayers! Although it’s discouraging having absolutely no ability to contact him i write almost daily in a journal yet I am still too scared to mail them yet. I have no idea I feel I made doing what’s right or if I should really let go. I feel in my heart that I’m am to hold on. I pray day in and day out trying to be closer to him and giving the Lord my burdens to lift up as I lay at his feet, but sometimes get discouraged or feel like im asking selfishly. I’m here Just asking for extra prayers! My ex is expected home soon and I’m asking for the Lords favor and grace that he can give hope, encouragement and wisdom to commit to him, his will and restore our relationship for us to walk in his glory to be a couple of the Lords mercy and grace!

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Jeff November 5, 2016 at 6:09 pm

Praying for as I am going through the same right now.

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Adrienne November 15, 2016 at 9:10 pm

Praying for everyone, please pray for me too. I am asking the Lord to restore our hearts with his grace mercy and forgiveness, and abundantly fill our hearts and minds with unconditional love for one another to find our way back together.

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Tiffany December 3, 2016 at 11:41 pm

I needed to read this article. I’m currently going through a broken, tragic, ruined relationship. We were together 10 years. We have two kids and he let the devil destroy what we had. I’m trying to make this work. I feel as if I’m fighting this battle alone. It too the point an outside child has occurred. I’m speechless, hurt, scorne and in shock. I don’t know how much of this I can take anymore. Please keep me n my family in your prayers.

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Adrienne December 6, 2016 at 6:44 pm

My update I’m praying and fasting. Please pray for me ans I will pray for everyone as well. I have committed and ready to restore and regain even pure friendship, but my ex is currently walking away from God with bitterness, and anger, and has no desire to commit to restoration, forgiveness, or even how I hurt him so I can apologizein his language of apology and love!

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Gina January 5, 2017 at 12:03 pm

Thanks for these inspiring words. My six years relationship is falling apart, we have not seen each other the past three years and have been communicating daily to just recently. I can’t get him to tell me what it is he’s going through, but he cut me off for weeks and became rude and insensitive all of a sudden, we talk now for just a few minutes daily, I really feel him withdrawing , I m in so much pain and hurt. Thank God for this message that as given me the assurance that with God everything will definitely fall in place through Jesus Christ

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Gina January 9, 2017 at 1:57 pm

Please pray for me as i try to mend my broken relationship that i broke. My boyfriend is having second thoughts of trying to fix this please pray for us that we can make it through this horrible time.

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Jack Wellman January 9, 2017 at 3:00 pm

Praying for you Gina.

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Gina January 10, 2017 at 2:19 pm

Thanks Jack

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Jack Wellman January 10, 2017 at 2:53 pm

You’re so welcome Gina.

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John Parker January 25, 2017 at 8:30 am

Thank everyone here for the uplifting prayer and spiritual advice.
I am Praying and asking for prayer for my relationship. My girlfriend, Tara Lancaster and her 2 sons Austin and Noah and our two dogs are going through a break up. We have a beautiful home together, but are not married. I have asked God to bless our relationship and can only hope His answer is to break it apart and put it back together His way. She says she is done and the only way she’s ever coming back is if God brings her back. Well, I’ve given this to God and let go and I pray he gives her the faith and desire to recommit and repair our broken relationship. I also ask for prayer that he heals both of our hearts and allows true forgiveness and reparation. Thanks to all for any and all prayers in this situation. God bless You

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Greg January 28, 2017 at 4:19 pm

Prayers to all…remember…He is not of this earth

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SWASTIKA February 24, 2017 at 10:39 pm

Meditate on the powerful words of god and god will build a Strong foundation in every relationship

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Ellen February 28, 2017 at 4:26 pm

I will keep everyone of you in my prayers. Please pray for me. GOD know of my situation. Remember give GOD all the praise and glory regardless!

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Jessica Arcand March 5, 2017 at 9:51 pm

Ive been with my spouse all together 20 years… We have separated due to our broken childhoods and we’re survivors of residental school syndrome… Our four children are the next generation of these effects… I left him to heal as he was abusive and had many addiction… His abuse lead to my infidelity… We have never been married… Too much struggles and pain from our past and childhood abuse… I left him to come find my identity… hurts cause I left him alone … He was very abusive in many ways and forms, an addict and unfaithful… The Lord lead me but I had alot of work to do… He said not to give up in my spouse… But I needed to come heal first and learn to forgive and love myself… Then realizing forgiving and loving all the ones who hurt me… Ive lost many loved ones while working on myself… Now today I pray and declare restoration over my family, love and relationship… I ask the Lord to renew my spouse heart and faith and guide him back to God and heal his heart and soul and fill him with forgiveness, love, patience and humility… We are at different levels of healing and different levels of spirituality… I rebuke the enemy and ask the Lord to take our lives into His loving arms in Jesus name. Amen… He knows our hearts desires… Praise the Lord… I let go and let God. Amen. ❤

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Rita G March 17, 2017 at 2:21 pm

Please pray for to mend my broken relationship that I broke. I realized I did not love myself and instead of accepting this loving Christian man into my life, I would self-sabotage and do all these silly things. We broke up because I thought he was just with me because I pressured him so I waited a whole year to see if he would fight back but realized now that he was fighting for me in his own way that I did not realize. Now a year later, we still love each other however he is having serious doubts about getting back with me. I have asked for forgiveness from him, from God, and have acknowledged my mistakes and working on them. I just pray that it is not too late and that God can rekindle and mend our relationship. I don’t know what else to do…and have put my relationship in God’s hand. I just feel so overwhelmed and at a loss with what to do. I miss him and love him so much. I ask for prayers for us.

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Onalo Abraham April 6, 2017 at 5:46 am

hello y’all my friend i gotten a broken marriage and i need you all to join me in prayer o hi wife can come back in to this marriage in Jesus name

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Cameron Coleman April 6, 2017 at 1:53 pm

My name is Cameron Coleman but you can call me CAM. I was with my girlfriend for 2 and a half years. Her name is Sarah Drake. and we broke up about 2 and a half weeks ago from today. Sarah has lost faith & hope of the betterment of our relationship. There were multiple times on many occasions were we both were on great paths with the lord. I can honestly say that god has moved in us and through us so many times during prayer, us hanging out or even having some small time with him to pray for one another. But as time progressed, sexual sin made its way into our relationship. Me and Sarah were on a bridge, at a park when god’s holy spirit came upon us and made a demon flee from our lives. From that day forward, our relationship became special to me because of how close i became to god and his presence with her because that was something i never experienced with any other woman or relationship i was in. Over time, sin crept its way back in our lives but stronger than ever. In result, this caused us to grow far far away from god, become people we are not and it slowly ate our relationship alive.

I truly believe that the devil does not want me and Sarah to be together because of how he saw the spirit move with in us on the days and times that it did.

Yes, the sexual sin dug us into a vary large whole.

Yes, Sarah has given up because of whats all happen, and how its emotionally drained her, and strayed her away from god. But so am i….But i still have faith and hope and ask that god can redeem us. she tells me how much she misses me, how much she loves me still, how she looks at our pictures and just cries. but yet she doesn’t want what we had, but tells me MAYBE we can try to work on things in a year or so..

after hearing this I came to the conclusion that the woman i was i am in love with is confused. With all of that being said, I’m on a 21 day fast. starting today as my first day. No social media, no texting and no talking to friends in the outside world. I told Sarah last Saturday that i am releasing this relationship so god can do what needs to be done in her heart, so she can figure out what exactly she wants from me? (friendship…possible relationship…or friends but working on things….)

it was hard…. very hard…. because I was giving up all of the late night phone calls i would receive from her every weekend, with her telling me how much she misses me and loves me… before she went back in to the week numbing herself from the rest of the pain..

I am emailing you because i want god to work a miracle with Me & Sarah’s relationship, and i feel like the only way to get that is to get as many people in my corner to pray for the same thing i am praying for which is restoration in the love we have, for god to heal us both and to bring us back together in – peace – obedience in Christ and unconditional love for one another.

We learned from our mistakes and have seen and felt what flesh can do. I just want god to give me another chance with her. She is the only woman i truly desire in my heart. I love her, i see past her mistakes, even in her wretchedness i still see her beauty.

Sincerely,

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Jack Wellman April 6, 2017 at 1:56 pm

Hello Cameron, this is so special…I am praying for you both.

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Shaun May 2, 2017 at 4:20 am

Hi my name is shaun .I have been married for 1 and a half year to a beautiful wife name ferdeo we have a 8 month old daughter name alexis peyton and a step son aqeel
My wife came from a muslim backround and converted to christian we got married on the 12th of december and found out she was pregant in January.
We been to church since then knowing that we survive a living god and my wife adapted been a Christian and starting believing in christ.
From then I believe the devil toke control of our marriage I started been unfaithful to my wife lieing to her fighting with her everything got so messed up that we go on for days not talking to each other. It was on the 23 of july 2016 where I was invited for a 1 year thanks giving where I had friends that drank and I joined in with them.

I created the biggest sin in my life that night I ended up sleeping with a women that I knew from the area which my mum lives

5 months down the line she messages me saying thats im the father of the child she is carrying. I was in shock and so scared I knew my marriage was over then and there.every night I should pleed with god to forgive me for what ever I have done. My wife never knew a thing till the baby was born until the girl that I sleeped with got hold of my wife and confronted her about the child
From then my marriage is not stable. I dont know if this is my child or not or she used this to trap me and break up my marriage. I tried my best to save my family by giving them what they asked for so that they wont confront my wife about this child. I love my wife to bits I know I have done wrong I just want yourl to pray for my family to be reunited and live a happy life together.
What makes me scared is that I have a 8 month old baby girl I dont want her growing up with separated parents.I pray heavenly father that you will work a miracle in my life and in my marriage amen please pray for us

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Pamela Rose Williams May 3, 2017 at 11:44 am

Hello Shaun, Thank you for sharing your story. God is still on the throne and he can work that miracle in your marriage and life. Have you asked forgiveness from God? Have you asked forgiveness from your wife and is she willing to work on growing your marriage? I pray that you are humble to approach her and promise to her that you will be faithful and want to raise your family together. I will continue to pray for you.

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Nkanyiso May 7, 2017 at 2:38 pm

Thank you for the kind God’s guidance. I am going through a very difficult moment in my relationship, well my relationship has broken down and it doesn’t look like there is a way back but I know with God’s love and grace it will be restored. I pray each and every one on here put the Lord in control of their relationships and everything else will fall into place…something I never did before. I hope God will bless me and restore my broken relationship.

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Jack Wellman May 7, 2017 at 3:30 pm

Praying for your marriage to be restored my friend and God alone can change the heart (Prov 21:1) so let us (and others?) pray for this in and for the glory of Jesus’ name, which is the Father’s will.

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Bre July 26, 2017 at 4:34 pm

Please pray that if it is in God’s will that my relationship will be restored. We were in a long distance relationship for 3 1/2 yrs. We just broke up this last weekend. He had gotten a job and then became distant and I became insecure so I impulsively broke up with him through text. We never argued, we always worked problems out, we were like best friends. When he got the text he responded very upset. I sent him a text the next day apologizing and he stated that he needs time. I sent him another text a couple of days later asking what should I do and he said to just wait, that’s it

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YumYum Bumpkins August 1, 2017 at 8:34 am

I’m going to use this, if you don’t mind.

Thanks <3

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Sandy September 5, 2017 at 8:26 am

I am going through a hard time in my life with my wife of eight years. I put her through a lot recently and now I realised I did more damage than trying to fix things up when it was still at its infant stage.

I love her. We have three beautiful children. They are my world. I have constantly argued with her for so many things which I only assumed. It all happened because I was working in a location out of town and had no time to be with them and I assumed she was doing somethings behind my back. I only had one weekend in a month or two to go visit my family and then head back to work. The isolation from them didn’t help.

After going through this argument I realised it was all wrong. I was wrong and I admit it. Instead of fixing things Up, I completely did the opposite. I now confess that I am at fault. I admit I am wrong and I would like to be the changed man. But she has completely lost her love for me. I ask for all your prayers that we may get back together. The lord is truly great and He can do great things. I believe he will help me in my hard times. I ask all you Christians reading this to help pray for me and those going through the same problem as me to find forgiveness and love again soon.

I don’t Wana lose my wife and kids. Please God help me.

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Jack Wellman September 5, 2017 at 8:48 am

Praying with you Sandy. This is now in God’s hands.

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Pamela Rose Williams September 5, 2017 at 4:37 pm

Hello Sandy,

I am sad to hear your story. I will pray with you and know that God will do exactly what He wills. God loves marriage and He loves family. We can trust that He is in control.

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Tyler September 9, 2017 at 10:51 pm

Please pray for me. My girlfriend of 10 months and I recently broke up. We were truly in love and I still am in love with her. She’s all I want. She has Crohns and it’s caused a lot of problems for her, recently she says she has become depressed and I believe her. I know in my heart this depression is causing her to fall out of love with me. I want to start a family with her, I want to marry her, I just want to be with her.

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Renita L Chatman October 28, 2017 at 6:43 pm

My name is Renita and my boyfriend and i have been together a year and one month. He said he wants to be friends right now but he still loves me and wanna be together. He says he feels like he neglects me because his work and daughters but i dont make a scene about it because im a single mom. We meet in high school and reconnected 10 years later. I have been single for almost 4 years until him we have been thru so much. I want god to restore our relationship because i love him and i want us to turn back to god like we did jn the beginning. It seems like we have so many obstacles fighting against us. Please pray for me my name is Renita and his name Ricky. We have bear the odds against us and i know it was only because of god and im asking god to do it again.

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Jack Wellman October 28, 2017 at 7:09 pm

Will pray for this Renita.

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Bridget Nicole December 6, 2017 at 9:33 pm

I’m praying for you all, I know how hard it is to endure and hope in this situation, I ask that you may pray for me and my relationship too. We have been together two years, we are long distance, but we fit together so seamlessly and had talked about engagement in the next year or so, and we had both said that we felt that the Lord had created us for each other, suddenly it seems like all that is on hold now… Looking back on my whole life now I see that the Lord has always been there, but it is only recently that I had become a Christian, although throughout my whole life I would pray in times of need or fear to the Lord without realising it. My boyfriend was raised with faith, although there was a time he turned away from the Lord in the last few years, in these last few months he has embraced his faith again, which I’m so happy about and there’s nothing I encourage more. But suddenly when I told him that I wanted to embrace faith myself he seemed to be distant, he told me he was happy at first, but then shut me out after. I know that he wants to be in a relationship with someone who has a good relationship with the Lord, even though that is exactly what I want too, and what I’m trying to achieve, I think he’s scared that I’m only saying that to hold onto our relationship. Which I can understand since I know his faith is so important to him, but I fear that he has hardened his heart and that is why he isn’t letting himself trust me.. It’s been about two months where our relationship has been on hold, but for months I’ve been getting vivid visions, and images that I know in my heart are from the Lord, each of them showing our relationship fixed, us happily in love once again, his family, our future family, our dream home, just everything that we could ever have dreamed of together. I know this is the Lord telling me to hope and endure this time of testing, I’m trying everyday to hold on but it’s so hard when I wake up so miserable and cry myself to sleep every night. I trust in what the Lord has shown me, but I cannot figure out what He wants me to do other than wait… I tried mentioning some of these visions to my partner but he’s again not sure whether to believe that I’m getting these visions from the Lord because he knows that I love him and want our relationship back. I pray night and day that the Lord may go to him and work within his heart, mind, spirit, anything so that he may not keep his heart hardened against me and his family. I know that the Lord is telling me to hold onto him, I just pray that he soon goes to my partner and lets him know, somehow, to trust me and listen to what I’m seeing. Every time I try and talk about it to him, he keeps saying that we have to accept whatever the Lord’s plan is for us, he is open to the idea of restoration to our relationship, but only if it is the Lord’s will, and I assume if the Lord goes to Him and let’s him know that our relationship is in His will. I can’t help but feel that the Lord is showing me His will, because I know that the Lord does not like to see His children suffering and in so much emotional pain, and I know He would not show me such beautiful visions without reason. I ask that you may pray for us, for the Lord to bring reconciliation and restoration to our relationship, and for the Lord to go to him and let him know it’s okay to try our relationship again. I thank you and pray for you all.

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Christopher December 26, 2017 at 9:21 pm

This was a very good read. Lately my relationship been in shambles because of some things I did in the past. But in recent times I found the real meaning of marriage and it’s one of the worlds most beautiful things. I’m hoping by reading this I can repair my marriage. But through God anything is possible.
PS – My wife is a very beautiful lady and I am very lucky to be with her

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Morgan January 4, 2018 at 9:40 am

I am going through a break up. I know this is the devil trying to tear us apart. I know God is able to fix anything. I pray that God heals and restores my relationship.

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Ethan April 10, 2018 at 3:18 pm

My girlfriend and I have been dating for 4 years. We’ve had many ups and downs just like every couple but this year she doesn’t know if she wants to carry on. Could this be some kind of test that Gods sent to see if I remain faithful and trust in him?

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Noreen Given April 12, 2018 at 7:23 am

Hellow am Noreen i once toldya about my boy named Geofrey its three weeks since i started praying for him it really gives me hard time that i dont know whether i should keep begging God so hardly or i should just pray normal and let things be as they are..coz at times of praying i keep remembering him

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Jack Wellman April 12, 2018 at 9:12 am

THe BIble says we are to seek CHrist and His righteousness and the kingdom first above all things (Matt 6:33) so if your boyfriend ranks at the very top of your prayer life, then you are not putting God first.

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GLAVIN ANDRADE November 9, 2018 at 4:43 am

Me and my Gf of 5 months broke up with me because of ocd related to relationship. She fell out of love with me when it happened over and over again she decided to breakup. Her parents and friends told her to leave the relationship. I always loved her deeply and was honest with her with what i am going through. She is a nice person but because of long distance i couldn’t do anything. She told me strictly to move on and don’t keep any hopes. It hurts when i still love her but she thinks i will have this issue in future. Please pray for our broken relationship.

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