One of the things that can destroy any church or ministry is gossip. Other terms in the Bible for gossip include: backbiter, busybody, slanderer, secrets, talebearer and whisperers. So then, a Biblical definition of gossip would be to spread rumors or secrets, speak about someone maliciously behind their back or repeat something about someone else that you have no right to repeat. My husband often says “If you aren’t part of the problem or the solution, its gossip”. Let’s take a look at how the Bible warns and teaches us about this destructive behavior known as gossip. Here are fifteen Bible verses and helpful quotes about gossip:
Proverbs 16:28 A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.
Gossip: Secrets, Slanderers & Talebearers
Leviticus 19:16 You shall not go around as a slanderer among your people, and you shall not stand up against the life of your neighbor: I am the LORD.
Proverbs 11:13 Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered.
Proverbs 20:19 Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler.
Proverbs 26:20-22 For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases. As charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife. The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body.
Jeremiah 6:28 They are all stubbornly rebellious, going about with slanders; they are bronze and iron; all of them act corruptly.
Jeremiah 9:4 Let everyone beware of his neighbor, and put no trust in any brother, or every brother is a deceiver, and every neighbor goes about as a slanderer.
Deceit, Backbiting, Busybodies, Malicious Gossips & Whisperers
Psalms 41:7 All who hate me whisper together about me; they imagine the worst for me.
Proverbs 25:23 The north wind brings forth rain, and a backbiting tongue, angry looks.
Romans 1:28-32 And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.
2 Corinthians 12:20 For I fear that perhaps when I come I may find you not as I wish, and that you may find me not as you wish—that perhaps there may be quarreling, jealousy, anger, hostility, slander, gossip, conceit, and disorder.
1 Timothy 3:9-11 Deacons likewise must be dignified, not double-tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy for dishonest gain. They must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. And let them also be tested first; then let them serve as deacons if they prove themselves blameless. Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things.
1 Timothy 5:13-14 Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not. So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.
Titus 2:2-3 Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good,
How Can You Avoid Gossip?
Consider these simple steps to be sure you are not involved in gossip:
Do not associate yourself with one who is a known gossip
When someone starts to gossip — change the subject
If you are not part of the problem or part of the solution, stay out of it
If you have fallen into the bad habit of gossiping — ask God to change your heart
When you have been the victim of gossip — confront the parties that spread the rumor
Sources:
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version
“Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.”
Youtube.com “Change My Heart Oh God” by Eddie Espinosa
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Tagged as: backbiter, Bible Verses by Topic, Gossip, secrets, slander, talebearer, whisperer
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Pam, this is one of the most important subjects that can be covered in church and of course, on this site. Sadly, when we gossip about others, we are hurting the Body of Christ and your advice given in red is exceptionally good and should be in the thought process of every born again believer. Outstanding, as always. Thank you.
Jack my friend, you are so kind. My advice comes from years of fighting the fires that come from wagging tongues. I have seen it destroy ministries and the fact of the matter is that once we are bound by the sin of gossip, it becomes such a habit like so many other destructive behaviors. There are gobs and gobs of verses that we can meditate upon to help us keep from gossip. A good one to commit to memory is a popular one out of the Psalms: “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.” (Psalms 19:14). When this one is in our heart we might think twice about being a talebearer! My advice is based upon Biblical principles that we teach to folks who visit us for counsel.
Your words of encouragement have brightened my day brother.
I guess that the best way to avoid gossip is by using the exact opposite meaning bible love verses, one love verse can erase the ugliest gossip, its just amazing how smart and simple the bible verses are. truly the lord’s masterpiece.
I get tired of hearing people gossip about others and we wonder why people dont want to to church we are christians an they hear negative things coming out of our mouths i prefer to walk away cause i dont want to hear it lov your site thank you god bless
AMEN!
Hi Pam i heard of this one thing in the bible that said people who say things bad about women will be punished…do u know where that is in the bible? and i talks specificlly about somone being punished for talking bad about a woman..thank you
Peter read Deuteronomy 22 beginning at verse 13. Is this what you are looking for? This is a portion of the Old Testament Jewish law.
Thank you this is good…but please tell me if u find anything else like this..thank you very much
I recently just realized all the harm that can be done by gossip. I truly want with all my heart to stop being a “gossip girl”. Gossip leads to trobube and lies and will tear relationships apart. I realized I had a real problem on my hands when a co-wokers started coming to me to me to get the office 411. Before I knew it I was sucked in to this nasty habit. I also started to realize that I would exaggerate details. Or throw in a little white lie which lead to bigger lies. I really hope the lord can forgive for years of wrong doing. Is there a prayer I can say whenver I feel the need to gossip? I really need some help on this one.
hello New Leaf. Very fitting name for the desire of your heart.
Just a couple things: (1) Remember no matter what kind of lie you speak, a lie is a lie and God calls us to be conformed to the image of His Son, Jesus. Since Jesus never lied neither should we.
(2) You asked for a prayer to offer every time you feel like you need to gossip. How about if you commit the following scripture to memory and the next time you have that urge you can recall this to mind:
Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength and my redeemer. (Psalms 19:14)
Pamela,
Thank you for the quick response! I wrote down the scripture immediately and I will carry with me in my purse. I know this is going to be so hard for me, at the same time I have to do this. Like I said before gossiping can ruin a relationship. I would like to know what I have trouble with is the fine line between gossiping and just stating the truth. For instance if some one asks me question about another person I usually will just state the facts. But then all of a sudden its like I am spilling all the beans and I feel soooooo guilty.
All I know is I don’t want to do it anymore. And if someone comes to me with gossip I should stop them and pray for them. Talking amputation people behind their backs in a malicious manner is wrong on so many levels.
Do you think the lord knows I truly want to stop. I hope he trusts me after all the lies I have told.
Hello again
Try to remember the tips I give in the article at the end “How Can You Avoid Gossip”
To answer your question — absolutely the Lord knows you want to stop; He knows everything! When you purpose to do it He will give you the desire of your heart too. (Psalms 37:3-5)
I was so happy to read this. I am trying so hard to eliminate gossip and negative aspects from my life. The devil has a way of taking advantage of our weaknesses! I am having a hard time with it as well, and have found that it is extremely hard to eliminate gossip when you surround yourself with people who indulge and relish in gossiping. I now see how harmful it is, and I also see how hard it is to escape. I am currently taking a class through my church called Restoration and it is helping me to see my weakness and to overcome them through our Lord. I truly appreciate this article and believe that our savior knows our hearts. The first step towards change is admitting the problem, second is asking God for help. The rest is all action on our part! I may take your husband’s saying and make a large sign for my house!!
Good luck Kristina. Be strong don’t let any negative talk affect you.
Thank you for your article! I am struggling with gossip in my life, my sister, her boyfriend and most of her friends are constantly gossiping about my boyfriend and I, as a result we have chosen to distance ourselves from them and their company, however I live under the same roof as my sister, so that is a bit harder. We used to be extremely close, but we hardly talk these days. I have tried to ignore the rumours and act as if everything is okay, because the things that are said are so silly and really not worth the arguement that will follow. But last night my sister’s boyfriend stood up for her, while she was having a disagreement with my mother, when my mother spoke about her moving out, he questioned if I was going to be kicked out aswel. My mother and I have only recently started to get only better, and she now tells me a lot of what gets said behind my back. I want confront my sister’s boyfriend and tell him how I really feel, but I know that my mother will make friends with him( because she likes to stay at his mother’s holiday house) and I will look like the trouble maker.
I read your article and it was very uplifting. I have a neighbor who is very annoying the first thing he says is Dont mention this but and he goes on with his statement. I have told him quite often I don’t repeat conversations that I have and really what someone else might do or are doing is really not my business. I don’t think he is understanding what I am trying to say so should I just be mean in my tone of voice to get him to understand it is not my business, but the crazy part is he is an Assistant Pastor.
I live in a small apartment community and have several ladies that will sit on their patio for up to 10-14 hrs a day and simply gossip about everyone! even the “friends” or neighbors they invite over are not immune from it. The times I have visited or paused to say hi I have tried to change the subject but no luck. I have excepted the best way to deal with this group is by avoiding all the source(s) gossip and playing neigbors against neighbors. It certainly dont make me a popular person but I have that 10-14 hrs a day to be a better person and dad.
I’ve studied esoterically about gossip. I’ve had to leave churches because of gossip in the form of false accusations. Having never been married, I am subject to lies regarding relationships with women. A problem with gossip is that people don’t study to know what it is. From my experience, some people ignore verses about it because they would deal with someone’s problems than their own. Also, some people get hypocritical. I discovered the pulpit minister where I had been attending church has OCD and Compensatory Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The minister is insecure and refuses to get help. An elder told me it was gossip to say to him at an elder’s meeting about the minister’s mental health issues even though I was trying to help the minister. What is ironic is that I used to attend church with that elder’s mother. She falsely accused of bragging about my Bible knowledge when I filled-in preached because I would quote verses that people would not know. She would not listen to my response.It looked bad to some members because I was much younger. That church attendance is down to 20-25 people because of the effects of gossip.
True gossip is the result of a problem with the gossiper, not the object of the gossip. When there are problems in a church or with a Christian, it is not gossip as long as one tries to work it out with a person. Paul learned of the problems of the church at Corinth from what he was told by the household of Chloe (I Cor. 1:10). The same Paul that said, “Follow me as I follow Christ.”(I Cor. 1:11) If Paul told the household of Chloe that they were gossips, would there have been the Corinthians letters?
thank you
Thank you fro this wonderful lesson i leant from your message
Hi! Thanks for the article. It really relieves me. Amen!
I am always the subject of the gossips. My co-workers talked bad things about me. For the fact that I only stayed in the company for 4 years and yet I achieved many things. I became the general manager in a short time. I persevered to get my boss’ trust and reach this position. As a result, those people who already stayed in the company longer than I did tend to speak ill about me behind my back. I could reprimand them because of this, but I didn’t. I didn’t even confront them. I just prayed for them that someday God will change their ways and save their souls.
What does one do when the gossipers are family members to other family members? Not just siblings but parents alike? Then they blame me for overhearing their gossip about me when it is never intentional, then they turn on me like it is all my fault. These are supposed to be God fearing people that do nothing but gossip and slander all day. What do I do to make sure that I respect them but at the same time stand my groound? My first inclination is to leave them alone altogether. Someone please help?
Just a quick question. I am having issues with my bf. Is it considered slandering if I seek advice from close friends about things that have happened between us? I mean I tried to fix things with him, but it’s not working. So I have sought advice on some things (not everything). So I had to explain the situation. Is that slandering is this something bad? If it is, I want to stop it. But I have made a promise to God, that if it is bad…I will stop talking to even my closest friends, and just talk to Him and wait for his advice and guidance. What do ya’ll think?
My mother in law and I talk quite often. I just fell in love with her and my sister in law when I met them. Recently, I found out my mother in law had been gossiping about me to my sister in law. I was pretty hurt by this. Just telling my business because I am on hard times. For someone who has grown up with a bible in hand should know better. I have not talked to her about this, but I am sure it will do no good. This site was very helpful – thank you.
Hello Tina, How can you be sure that your mother in law will not respond positively unless you confront her about her wrong-doing? I urge you to discuss this with her. You know now that you should confront her. Remember point #5 in How to Avoid Gossip “When you have been the victim of gossip — confront the parties that spread the rumor”. Thank you for taking them time to leave your comment here.
Thanks got this. I realized I fell into gossiping today. When I noticed what was happening I quickly changed the subject. I felt convicted after I slipped and mentioned a friends business by accident. I know I have to go ask for forgiveness from The Lord. I also havr to speak with that person. I will pray and ask God to help me with guarding my mouth. This site was a blessing to me. I anxiously was looking to gain understanding about gossip and I’m ready for The Lord to change my heat.
My just 4 year old daughter recently told me something she had heard from a friend of her’s and it really bothered me when she mentioned it to me. I wanted to go to the mother and let her know what her child was talking about but I asked a close friend for advice on how to bring it up because it was a sensitive subject. Today I talk to the mother and she was really upset because she had heard from a few people that her daughter was talking about inapproprete stuff and it had started with me. I never thought my confident would mention it to anyone and I feel horrible about it, I apoligized to the mother but she was still very upset that people were gossiping about her daughter. I know I need to do something to fix this and I don’t want anyone else getting hurt. What do you think I should do?
Hello Richie, Your first instinct to talk to the Mother was the best thing. This is a 4 year old you were dealing with … Mommy or Daddy should be the first person you consult with for issues with these wee children. You involved at least one 3rd party and that is when it became gossip. It is okay to ask a friend for advice but you should never share details of a situation that they have no need to know. For this situation I believe you have done all you can to try to gain forgiveness from the Mother. Have you asked God to forgive you for this act of gossip? After that there is really no other action you can do to reconcile your relationship with the Mother. It is in her court now and she needs to find it in her heart to forgive you. Once that happens y’all can cultivate your relationship and begin reconciliation.
Now in the future, learn from your mistake and remember what I said at the end of this article: “If you have fallen into the bad habit of gossiping — ask God to change your heart”. When someone else is not part of the problem or part of the solution, do not involve them, else it becomes gossip. I hope this is helpful to you Richie. Thank you for your comment.
I have a problem with the “pastoral counselling couple” at my church. At one point the male part of the counselor team told me of a problem “he and others, were having with the senior pastor”. I said I don’t know why you are telling me this, and he said, because you had a similar problem 7 yrs ago and I wanted to let you know we are currently trying to work through a similar problem. (I felt like this was gossip in my spirit, but I did not say anything…I think I felt pride that he would talk with me about a problem).
Since then, I have had some communication and control problems with the female partner regarding a women’s group we lead together.
I know she has gossiped, and behaved rudely, and she has responded to me in an email with a “white lie” for an excuse, of a simple task she did not want to tend to. I am 100% certain of all of this.
I tried talking to her about my communication concerns, but it she got very defensive. I first met them when I sought biblical counsel (2 yrs ago, before working as a group leader with her), but now I am very concerned about confidentiality and gossip.
How do I approach this? SERIOUSLY I need some guidance. My heart races when I think about how to deal with this. I have been trying to ignore it for 3 weeks. I don’t know whether to just cont. to ignore it and not cause trouble, or to talk to the senior pastor or his wife (my friend) about my concerns. This is not a comfortable situation.
If you need more detail I can provide that in confidentiality. phew…thank you
Sharin, this is not even my article but Pam is a very godly and wise woman of faith. She may answer much better than I and just because I am a pastor doesn’t make me any better able to answer than she is since she is part of her husband’s ministry and I consider the wife of a pastor part of the same ministry and so I have all the respect in the world for this woman who wrote this article.
Given that (please forgive my intrusion Pam) I would go to the Senior Pastor and his wife privately since I think it is inappropriate for a woman to meet privately with a man. For example, as a pastor, I only counsel women with my office door open and with members in the next room, out of ear shot. I never do it behind closed doors and so I think you should speak with the senior pastor and his wife about this. There is nothing more destructive than gossip that will quicker divide the membership. Gossip is one of the most serious grievances there are in any church.
I believe you should also read this article on just how serious gossip is to God at this link:
http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/a-bible-study-on-gossip-tips-to-stop-it/
Pray about it first. Make an appointment with the pastor and his wife, tell no one else and leave the rest up to God. Again, Pam may have better advice than I do but gossip hurts the church more than any other single thing because it divides, it slanders people’s reputation and it is very grievous to God. I am glad you see the seriousness of it and came here to seek counsel. I hope I did you well Sharin.
Thank you Jack, this is good council. I do need to pray about it first and trust the Lord to lead me. Gossip, especially in leadership destroys congregations. Thank you for your reply, you gave me good, strong, biblical advice.