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Justine February 13, 2015 at 7:34 am

Thank you for such a thought-provoking and well-grounded article. I have 2 beautiful children, born via IVF. I have 3 ’embryos’ frozen. I am now 44 years old and cannot go through another pregnancy, let alone afford another child.
What of the frozen embryos? I will not destroy them or donate them to scientific research. These are my children. I am unable to bring myself to donate them to a childless couple, as I will (selfishly) forever be worried about what is happening to them, where they are, if they are happy and safe. In addition, I will not be comfortable knowing that a full blooded sibling/s of my children is/are out the somewhere. I know they will want to find them someday, or will wonder whether each child they meet may be their sibling. I don’t want to do a ‘compassionate transfer’, where the embryos are transferred into my uterus at a time of the month when there is little to no cervical lining for implantation, knowing they may likely perish. It’s also risky in that I may become pregnant again.
I know I am being very selfish here, as it is all about the way I feel about these options, but I cannot do any of these things.
My desire for children took priority over the knowledge of these issues.
Please let me know what I ought to do. I have prayed that someday I would be guided into making the right, Godly decision and be at peace with it. I also hope to win the lottery so I can afford to support the other children!
There are millions of spare embryos banked around the world… little children frozen in time, waiting for their parents to make a decision on their fate.

Roxanne April 16, 2015 at 9:52 am

you will always make the wrong choice if you let your emotions make it.
Pray, pray, pray.
And allow God to have control…They are after all ‘his children’.
The right choice is the hardest if you are doing it alone, trust the Lord!

DocReits February 16, 2015 at 8:14 pm

“A very hard ethical dilemma Justine,

For those not understanding In Vitro Fertilization(IVF) here is a definition:

“In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a reproductive technology in which an egg is removed from a woman, joined with a sperm cell from a man in a test tube (in vitro). The cells fuse to form single cell called a zygote, which then starts dividing, becoming an embryo.”

Forgive my confusion because I do not understand this statement of yours:

“Please let me know what I ought to do. I have prayed that someday I would be guided into making the right, Godly decision and be at peace with it. I also hope to win the lottery so I can afford to support the other children!”

By “other children” are you referring to your two children in your home right now, or the potential births of the embryos?

If the 120.00/month isn’t a concern(for storage of the three embryos) then waiting is an option. Wait until you are gone and place it in your will that you wish a Christian third party(your children, church or Christian adoptive service) to take care of adoption for you.

Since we both believe the embryos are viable, are children, and are deserving of live birth(do you believe this last reality?), then if you cannot emotionally “handle” them being raised outside of your control, while you are living, then wait until you are gone.

I am not an attorney but find one(Christian) and let your concerns be made known, if you haven’t already. I would think you should spell out in your will(do you have a living Trust/Will?) that you wish your children to seek out an adoptive or surrogate mother to bear the embryos once you are gone.

If you can, leave enough money in your will to pay for the embryos expenses(monthly storage).

The main questions I see you need to resolve are the following:

1)Do you believe these embryos are deserving of live birth, or should they be in this state of suspended animation indefinitely?

2) If they deserve birth, then, do you believe your fears overrule their opportunity for birth? If yes, then wait. If no, then seek out the means for their live birth, through these means discussed.

I wish you well. I will be praying for you as you wrestle with this decision,


Justine February 18, 2015 at 2:57 pm

Hi DocReits
Thank you so much for taking the time to answer my questions and for your invaluable input. And thank you for keeping me In your prayers while I wrestle with my decisions. Your suggestions have given me a lot to think about.

I live in another country and the annual storage fee is minimal.

When I talked about winning the lottery, my point was that if money were no object, I would provide the remaining embryos (children) a chance at life right away. So yes, I do believe they are deserving of life. I could not bring myself to destroy them.

I need to check what the agreement says that I signed with the lab when the embryos were frozen. I’m not sure what it says about what happens in the event of my or my husband’s death. But I will seriously consider the option of including them in my/our will.

I am sure you must be wondering what my husband’s thoughts are on this. Well, he sticks his head in the sand and doesn’t want to talk about it. I’m not sure what his feelings would be about the idea of including them in a will, but will broach the subject with him.

Thank you once again. I am truly grateful that God pointed me to this site for answers.


DocReits February 18, 2015 at 3:26 pm

Hi Justine,

If I might add another thought, I would definitely have the remaining embryos genetically tested to see if they are viable. IOW, if they have the potential/ability to survive throughout the gestation period. Your medical facility where they are at should be able to do this for you.

Once again, prayers in making your decision,


Mr Anthony Cotton March 1, 2015 at 12:43 pm

I have just been thinking about this the last day or so.
You have fully answered my question especially when the child is in the womb.
The one I want to know about is what if their is a miscarriage it`s not a pleasant thing,but the baby is all mashed up.

Julie Rollins August 7, 2015 at 12:38 pm

In Prayer one morning I ask God..”When does he consider a Life to be a Life” His answer was.. “At which point during Mary’s pregnancy, if something had gone wrong, would I have not called my son home?”… So God considers a Life to be a Life, at the moment of conception…..

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