Coping with a Miscarriage: Biblical Words of Encouragement

by Crystal McDowell · Print Print · Email Email

A miscarriage is the emotional roller coaster of riding high on the expectancy of a new baby to the lowest depths of pain from loss. Miscarriages can come without warning or time to prepare your heart to cope. Well-meaning people try to comfort with words of advice and encouragement, but the brokenness remains. Even though the emptiness may seem to consume your heart, there is hope in Christ. The book of Psalms offers words of comfort that can seep through your hurting heart to bring truth and peace.

Truth: My heart hurts

My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life” (Psalm 119:50).

No one escapes pain. It’s a part of living in a fallen world. Jesus Christ sent the Holy Spirit to be your Comforter during this difficult time of your life. The Holy Spirit is always available day or night when you need Him. You can pour out your frustration, confusion, and anger before God because He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7)

Year after year Hannah was unable to have children and this brought her unimaginable anguish so that she couldn’t eat. It was after Hannah poured out her soul to God that her faith was renewed and refreshed in the Lord. (1 Samuel 1:2-20) Healing from deep hurt is possible when submitting your heart to God for healing.

Truth: My hope is lost

Do not let my hopes be dashed” (Psalm 119:116)

You must not give up on your Lord; He knows your suffering ...

You must not give up on your Lord; He knows your suffering …

We hope our prayers will be answered in the way we desire, but it doesn’t always happen. It becomes difficult to hope because we are afraid of disappointment. Yet our hope can be built up again one faith step at a time.

When the storm suddenly hit their boat, the disciples lost all hope of survival. They woke Jesus up in a panic in which he calmed the raging storm with a few words. Afterwards he asked “Where is your faith?” (Luke 8:22-25) Jesus still asks that questions of us. Where is our faith when our painful times come without warning? Hope that was lost can be found through faith in God’s word.

Truth: My mind is troubled

My thoughts trouble me and I am distraught” (Psalm 55:2)

A troubled mind can’t rest in peace and quietness. It will keep you up at night and hassle you all day long. Worrying about your future isn’t God’s will for your life. He’s in control when you aren’t. You can trust Him in the dark days to keep your mind when you focus on Him and not your situation.

Hagar found herself out in the wilderness with her son and no water. Her thoughts were troubled and she cried in her distress. God heard her son, Ishmael, also crying and sent an angel to lead her to a well. (Genesis 21:14-21) Our troubled thoughts can be refreshed through the living waters of the Holy Spirit. He will lead you to think on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy. (Philippians 4:8)

Truth: My strength is gone

My strength fails because of my affliction” (Psalm 31:10)

A miscarriage can sap your spiritual, emotional, and physical strength. After a time of recovery, you may need to enter into a deeper rest of spiritual solitude. In this time of prayer and meditation you will find your peace to move forward with your life. In quietness and confidence, you will find strength. (Isaiah 30:15)

After running from Jezebel, Elijah became so exhausted that he wanted to die. He lost the strength to move on until an angel appeared with food. Elijah didn’t find God in the wind, earthquake or fire, but rather in a gentle whisper. (1 Kings 19:13) Be still before God and listen to His voice speak to you through His Word. (Psalm 46:10) You will find strength in the bread of life flowing from God.

Truth: My joy is depleted

Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy” (Psalm 126:6).

After the loss of your baby, your joy may seem elusive. Joy from the Lord is deeper than happiness. It’s the reassurance that God is still on the throne and has a plan for your life. Joy is replenished with patience and time spent with God. (Ecclesiastes 2:26)

Sarah must have wept many nights for the promised child. She didn’t give birth to her son, Isaac, until her nineties. Isaac’s name meant “laughter” as she knew that many women would laugh with her in joy of God’s grace over their lives. (Genesis 21:6) Your joy will be stirred up again as you turn to the Heavenly Father for wisdom and direction in your life. His joy remains in you no matter your circumstances.

Truth:

Not everyone can clearly understand what it’s like to lose a baby. Some who have had lost babies may have moved past the pain and have forgotten the great significance you are going through. Yet God is able to make all grace come on your life to endure. You must not give up on your Lord; He knows your suffering and longs for your surrender to His purposes. God will hold you through this. Just trust Him.

Take a look at these other hopeful verses in the Bible:

20 encouraging Bible verses for the brokenhearted

Resource – New International Version Bible, The Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright© 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblca, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. YouTube video “Solid Rock” by 4 Him

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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Linda May 19, 2013 at 7:14 pm

Dear Crystal,
Interesting article, Ive not spoken to anyone about this till now. When I was around 13, I prayed to God “not” to have children as I thought there was no way I would handle, childbirth. At 25 I married and we tried right away for children. Within 2 1/2 I had 2 miscarriages. Later both of us went through all the tests that could be done with the doctors, and all was well with both of us. Never got pregnant again. Presure from family to have children was quite stressful and didnt help. Later on down the road a few years,t hey would say , what is meant to be is meant to be. We are in our late 50’s now, with no children, too old now, we have nieces and nefews, and we thank God for them, but its not the same.
Its still hard, I still cry now and then of what we missed. I always wondered if God took my prayer serious, thinking to myself, no he wouldnt, I was too young at that time to even know what I wanted, and prayed for children but never came. I am still waiting to know what my purpose in life is, without children, I feel like I let God down. I still pray, still no answer .
Thank you for this article, I finally got to say it out loud , sort of. Please pray for me, God Bless,
Linda

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Crystal McDowell May 21, 2013 at 1:26 pm

My Dearest Linda,

My heart aches for your loss and grief over these last years. No one can truly give you an answer for how God moved in this situation on earth. I can tell you with all the assurance of the Holy Spirit that He loves you deeply and not one tear shed in the process was ever in vain. My sister…you have not let God down. He is and always has been with you through the dark days. Your life has a purpose and plan especially now. May your written confession bring relief and peace from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Resist the temptation from our common enemy to waste valuable and precious time worrying about the past. I believe your experience is of great value for the kingdom of heaven including your spiritual and biological family. Hold your head up in the honor bestowed on you for your life position right now. Renew and refresh yourself daily with God’s holy word and prayer. I’ve prayed for you and trust that God will bring newness and restoration to your heart in Christ Jesus.

Love in Christ,
Crystal

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Marty December 9, 2013 at 11:06 pm

Dear Crystal,
God bless you for this article. Reading this article has blessed me and increased my faith in the Lord. I am going through a miscarriage right now and it is the most worst thing that has ever happened to me. I have been blessed with 2 lovely children and was hoping for a third baby. I can’t describe the shock on my face when I discovered it last week at my 12 week scan. But I know that my God is in control. He did not promise a smooth christian life. Bible says trials may come but even in such times He will be with us. He will not leave me nor forsake me. My God is bigger than any situation and He will see me through this difficult time. He only appoints and never disappoints. Bible says weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning. The emotional rides, the physical pain, the spiritual drain will only last for a short time. The God of Abraham and Sarah will surely put laughter in my mouth again. I just know that God has allowed this to increase my trust and faith in Him.
To other Christians in similar situations, be still and know that He is God. He is right by you every step along the way, all you need to do is just trust Him.
God bless you all.
Marty

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Crystal McDowell December 10, 2013 at 8:33 pm

Dear Marty, thank you so much for your transparency and honesty about our gracious Father. May He continue to bless your home with His presence and care.

God bless,
Crystal

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Rebecca Wiersma July 13, 2014 at 7:19 pm

About 2 weeks ago I experienced a miscarriage. I went through fertility treatments which were expensive. I was so happy to become pregnant only to lose the baby. Like one of your other readers I had prayed about this, but I had prayed for my twin sister to get pregnant and said If only one of us could get pregnant I wanted it to be her. So I too wondered if God decided that I would not have a baby because of that or because perhaps I wasn’t deserving. I know in the Bible God made some women “barren” so wondered if this was going to be me. Then thought maybe I just don’t have enough faith.

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Crystal McDowell July 14, 2014 at 8:58 pm

Dearest Rebecca,
I’ve been praying for you since I first read your comment. I’m sorry for your loss and I hope you will give yourself time to grieve in the Lord. I don’t believe that losing your baby was because you didn’t have enough faith. If people have said that to you–they are very much mistaken. Whether we have lost babies or loved ones, it’s not because of our lack of faith. Our Father knows about your pain when He gave up His only Son to die on the cross for the entire world. While your prayer for your twin sister was kind and generous, I still don’t believe that God allowed your loss because of that prayer. I believe that God allows pain in our lives so that we may grow in our trust in Him and that He would be glorified in it. This doesn’t mean we don’t grieve, but rather we grieve in the Lord–that is with hope that God is with us, He hears our prayers, He turns even our most painful, disappointing moments for good, and that most of all–His love for you is all encompassing and unconditional. We may never understand in this lifetime why we had to suffer in such ways–yet we can continue to press our way to Jesus in the midst of the storm–that He will give us peace and hope. Keep up the faith and walking in the truth. You will make it through this difficult season. Love you in Christ…Crystal

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Meg August 21, 2014 at 11:08 am

Crystal,

I have been searching the internet for some words of peace to comfort me this morning. I lost my baby this January at 9 weeks. I should have started this morning with my baby in my arms, instead I woke up to the news that my college roommate delivered a healthy baby boy last night. I have no peace today. I am still so confused, and bitter, and angry. I also woke up to another month of my body saying no to our attempts to conceive again.
I confided in my husband this morning, I told him of my anger, of my feelings of unjustness. He did his best to comfort me but he also told me these feelings may be keeping us from conceiving; from having blessing from God. Oh it hurt, but what if he is right? It hurts to know my actions, my sin of self-relience can keep my husband from the blessing of being a father.
I am not sure how to recover. How to stop hurting. How to move forward. I thought getting pregnant again would do the trick, but that is not happening and I am hurting even more because of it.
Thank you for your article. Biblical applications on how to process my feelings and situation I believe will help. I know God is waiting for me to surrender to him; I’m just not sure how.

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Crystal McDowell August 22, 2014 at 10:01 am

Dear Meg,

First of all, I’m sorry for your loss. It’s difficult to gather ourselves together after a miscarriage. When I lost my child over 20 years ago, it felt like my world just crashed all around me. I was struck by how quickly I felt abandoned by God, but the truth was–He was never closer than when I was at my worst moments. I pray for you to cling to the cross of Jesus to restore hope, joy, and peace. There are so many things in this life (death, tragedies, persecution) that are unexplainable–but for God. He knows the desires of your heart and will answer your prayers according to His will. Your pain will pass and you must move forward in the faith that your heavenly Father loves you unconditionally and is working this hard season of your life for your good. Be patient, my sister, and trust.

Love in Christ,
Crystal

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Nicole June 2, 2015 at 9:33 pm

Hello, I want to thank you all.for your testimony, truth, and words of encouragement. I recently had a miscarriage. My husband and I have been married almost 10 yrs and together for almost 17yrs. My first time getting pregnant was a shocking yet happy surprise. When we had our son (we adopted him at 3months) he’s now 7. I thought well it’s ok im fine with never physically conceiving and birthing a child because my son is my world. In my mind I’ve said im not bothered but I now no that’s a lie I’ve made my self believe. I miscarriaged at 9 wks. I’ve went to God for peace, and believe he would quickly bless us again 5 months later we still haven’t gotten pregnant again. I realize im not being completely honest with myself, im not at peace with the situation. Im sad, confused, and hurt. As a teenager I lied about being pregnant and faked a miscarriage and I wonder is this my punishment for lieing. Is it my karma? I know God is not a malice n spiteful God, but I also know we have to answer for our sins. I know God Will forgive us if we repent but is this my punishment? Im 34 no im not old but in convincing age im getting there. I just pray to understand the things I can’t change! IM THANKFUL HE ALLOWED ME TO BE A MOMMY TO MY SON. If we never have another child he is my greatest blessing im so thankful for him. He wants siblings so bad. I tell him to pray and God to bless us. Please lift me,my husband, and our son in your prayers. I feel like im letting God down by questioning his ways. For haboring the feelings I feel. Thank you all for your testimonials. Be Blessed.

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crystal June 3, 2015 at 8:33 pm

Dear Nicole,

You are in a tough place in your life journey and you will find yourself navigating through many emotions. It’s okay to admit that you feel weak right now in the faith–God understands and He gives strength to those who are weak. I don’t hold to the notions of karma. Many of us have sinned grievously and yet have also experienced the grace and forgiveness of God. Let go of your past by giving it to God. I’m so sorry for your loss and I know that God will continue to keep you when you put your trust in Him even in the toughest valleys. Your life journey will continue one day, one moment at a time. I will pray for your family. Please continue to seek out God’s word for healing.

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Rubi August 11, 2015 at 11:02 am

The pain is just so hard sometimes i cant even breath from crying so hard. Just knowing i had my baby dead inside me,and the pain of loosing him. I pray and pray i just need comfort to continue dear God please im begging you help me gt through this. My little baby his heart just stopped. I have cried so much i don’t think i can anymore my eyes hurt. I wish no woman went through this pain but i understand it is God’s will and my faith in him will not fade no matter what happens.

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Zimasa July 4, 2016 at 4:32 pm

Dear crystal

I don’t know where to start, in 2015 June i lost my first born, he was stillborn, each day was hard to take on and i finally took up so many tasks just to try and forget about his death, i wont lie it wasn’t easy and at home they were not so concerned as they said that i was still young to understand what really happened, they didn’t understand the pain that each and everyday i endured, the thoughts of the baby, counting down the days and weeks left for me to give birth and when that dream shattered i was torn apart.

i pleaded with God that he gives me another baby, and he made that possible when i had forgotten about my plea to him, 2016 January i got pregnant without knowing, when i realised that i was, i was over the moon, my didn’t know about the second pregnancy as i was scared to tell them, in may 2016 on the 23rd to be specific i lost my second born at 22 weeks a few weeks before my first born passed away at 26 weeks, i was terrified i prayed to God as i was having the contractions that he should be born with a heartbeat and alive, but he did not hear my prayers, as i was praying my prayer went to deaf ears.

it hurts so bad, after the loss of my second child, i didn’t eat for 1 weeks, i felt full and wasn’t interested in food at all.
i wish i could die but i don’t want to, i still want a lot of children but i am scared.

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Samantha November 14, 2016 at 9:44 am

Thank you for this. My husband and I have been trying for our first baby but have miscarried all my three pregnancies. The pain is almost unbearable but you have remained me of the following: Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy” (Psalm 126:6). I trust one day I will hold my baby in my arms in songs of joy.

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Chido January 24, 2017 at 7:47 am

I lost my baby after 3 hours of living when i gave birth at 24 weeks. I have been very hurt as i was looking forward to holding the baby in April 2017. I had fallen pregnant with a copper loop and really trusted that God had blessed me with this 4th child. I cant stop crying as most people i meet at work will be congradulating me thinking i have a new baby as my tummy was very big.I just pray that one day the pain will be gone as i cant even work after a month this has happened. I really need your prayers as i am hurting deep inside.

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