There is so much violence today; wars, disease, natural disasters, so why does God allow all this suffering in the world?
The Quiet Ache
[1]Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes in the morning – Psalm 30:5
There’s a quiet ache that comes with singleness. It is a feeling that’s not always visible to the outside world, but one that is deeply known by the heart that carries it. It’s the ache of waiting. Waiting for someone to see you. Waiting for your prayers to be answered. Waiting for that moment when you can finally say, “This is what I’ve been praying for.”
I’ve felt the pains of waiting. If I’m being honest, I still do. But what I’ve come to learn—and what I hope to encourage you with—is this: the wait is not wasted. In fact, it may be one of God’s most powerful tools for shaping who we’re becoming. If Jesus Himself was made perfect through suffering (Hebrews 2:10), then why can’t we be made stronger in our seasons of waiting?
Waiting Isn’t Passive—It’s Transformational
When we hear the word waiting, we often think of the feeling of inactivity. We can almost envision ourselves standing idly by, sitting in the waiting room of life, watching everyone else’s names get called. But biblically speaking, a season of waiting is anything but passive. It’s purposeful. It’s formational. Isaiah 40:31 tells us: “But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”
Waiting on the Lord renews us. It doesn’t wear us down—it lifts us up. It’s not about wasting time; it’s about preparing us for what’s next. And sometimes, that “next” is not going to be marriage. Sometimes it’s maturity. Sometimes it’s trust. Sometimes, it might be a sin that we need to repent of. If God is more concerned with our hearts than He is with our plans, our seasons of waiting can draw us closer to Him. By delaying our plans, God forces us to wrestle with His own. Bit by bit, day by day, our desires start to look like our Father’s.
When God Feels Slow
I would never pretend that waiting is easy. It is not. There are days when it feels like God is missing in action. I get that. Sometimes, it feels like God promised to pick you up at the airport, yet has left you stranded. You are all alone. And at the same time, it feels as if the people who don’t follow Him are getting everything you long for. It is confusing. It is painful. It can greatly shake your confidence.
[3]But here’s what I’ve come to realize: God’s pace is not our pace. That is actually quite a good thing. Second Peter 3:9 reminds us: “The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you…” The truth is, God is not slow in His actions. He is on a totally different timeline than we are. For human beings, a decade might feel like a long period of time, but to God it truly is not. To Him, a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day (2 Peter 3:8). There is no long-time or short-time when it comes to God—there is simply His unfolding plan. Sometimes, what feels like a delay is actually His mercy—giving us more time to prepare, more time to grow, more time to surrender to Him.
The Tension of Desire and Devotion
Let’s be honest: just because we love God does not mean that our desire for marriage goes away. For many single people, the desire for marriage is a heaven-sent thing. The problem arises when that desire becomes a demand—when we start believing that life can’t be meaningful until we have a spouse. That’s where Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 7 come back into focus. In that New Testament epistle, he writes: “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am … to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord” (1 Cor 7:8, 35).
Paul isn’t saying that marriage is bad. Not at all! He is simply saying that singleness is good. Very good. It might even be preferable, in fact. Paul was encouraging the single Christians in Corinth—and you and me today—that being single affords us a rare opportunity: we can have an undivided devotion to the Lord.
[4]Pastor Jack Coleman in Africa & on mission, being single.
Three Things God Might Be Doing in Your Waiting
If you’re in a long stretch of singleness right now, and the waiting feels heavy, here are three things that God might be doing in your life:
1. Building Character That Outlasts Circumstances
Marriage doesn’t erase your insecurities. It doesn’t resolve your identity, either. If anything, it might even expose new insecurities that you didn’t know were there. God may be using this time to do the deep work—strengthening your faith, healing old wounds, and shaping your heart into one that reflects His.
2. Reordering Your Desires
It’s not wrong to want marriage, but it is dangerous to make it your foundation. “You shall have no other Gods before Me” (Ex 20:3-5), says the first of the Ten Commandments. In reality, your season of singleness is a time where your desires are tested, refined, and placed back in the hands of God. He is the only One who can satisfy your needs completely.
3. Increasing Your Availability
You are uniquely positioned to say YES right now. You can travel. You can serve. You can lead. You are able to take risks that might be impossible later! Paul wasn’t being idealistic—he was being practical. Your singleness can be leveraged for eternal impact.
Final Thoughts
You may not have chosen this season—but it has been chosen for you. God sees your heart and He hears your prayers. He is not ignoring you. He’s inviting you to trust Him, even in the delay.
Your time of waiting will not be wasted. Your time in the waiting is where your roots grow will grow deep. It’s where your heart becomes whole. It’s where your story starts to look like the one He has planned for you. So then, just keep walking. Keep trusting. Keep waiting. And not because it’s easy, but because it is worth it.
Best-Selling Author, Bob Wheatley
Author’s Bio: BOB WHEATLEY is the #1 Bestselling Author of Single-Minded: Finding Purpose & Strength in Your Season of Singleness. His work has been featured on Way-FM, The FISH, KCBI Christian Radio, ESPN, FOX Sports, and various other international outlets. He has a passion for helping single Christians connect with Jesus like never before. You can visit Bob’s website at www.bobwheatley.com [5]
(P.S. Click HERE [6] to download his entire audiobook, completely free. We hope you enjoy it!)
Here is some related reading for you: Great Examples of Singleness in the Bible [7]
Resource – Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), Crossway Bibles. (2007). ESV: Study Bible: English standard version. Wheaton, Ill: Crossway Bibles. Used by permission. All rights reserved.